The Menu: Valentine's Meals for Two ❤️

The scene: it's 2026. The price of food is the highest it's ever been in America, while wages have been stagnant for decades. The winter has been marked by deadly snow and ice storms and the wind chills are still sub-zero in the middle of February, which isn't keeping the protesters off the streets. Not like you can go out to eat anyway, your boo has so many food allergies, you can't trust you won't spend the rest of the night in the ER with them after a food oops... talk about a mood killer.

yr Auntie may be very aromantic, but she's also very knowledgeable about two things - food, and romantic tropes. And one of those tropes is a home-cooked meal thinking specifically about their favorite foods and their dietary needs.

Step 1: identify their dietary needs. Have them send you a text or email, or hand them your phone with the Notes app open, and have them write down their food allergies, so you have them to refer to as you're creating your menu and doing your shopping. If this meal is a Valentines surprise, honestly, it's not hard to come up with an excuse for this, you just in general don't want to kill your partner, after all.

Like I said, I'm a trope expert at this point. It happens when you're an ace/aro anthropologist, you start to identify patterns as you're reading your books and watching your shows and movies...

Anyway, based on said romantic tropes, I'll recommend a few menus for some Netflix and Chill dates, but I fully intend these to be inspirations to give you ideas on how to menu plan for your boo! Obviously, make sure you're cooking their favorite foods for them, maybe having a cute little date before Valentine's Day where they show you how they make their favorite food is in order, as they'll know how to cook to their allergies. And if you have questions on how to make something allergy-safe you don't want to ask them, my Signal contact info is in the "AuntieLinks" part of my banner up there.

Dinner for Two, number 1: The Aphrodisiac Safecuterie

Of course, the most commonly regarded aphrodisiac foods are also fairly common allergens, so obviously omit anything in this list that there's an allergy to:

• Chocolate

• Avocado

• Honey

• Figs

• Strawberries

• Oysters

As for how to serve these ingredients:

• This chocolate pudding recipe incorporates chocolate, avocado, and honey, and is delicious served with sliced strawberries.

• If you want to serve chocolate candy, make sure it's from an allergen-free brand like Enjoy Life (not a sponsored link).

• If your boo can do wheat and soy, Fig Newtons are an option here. If they can't, there are many recipes for homemade versions out there, including gluten-free.

• Chocolate fondue for the strawberries and figs is an option here. Just melt 12oz of allergy safe chocolate chips with 1 1/4 cups plant milk, and 2 tablespoons of avocado oil in a double boiler (or in a heat-safe glass mixing bowl over a saucepan of water, like I do), and serve in a fondue pot over a tealight or small sterno to keep it hot and melty.

• For some easy homemade candies, check out the recipes for Chocolate Bark, Fruit Balls, and SunButter Balls.

• For a savory bruschetta, make or buy a loaf of their favorite bread, and toast it to top with avocados and pickled onions, or the smoked oysters tapenade, both from the BYO Sammies Safecuterie Board.

Dinner for Two, number 2: The Romantic Bistro

• Spaghetti (or the closest gluten free alternative, if needed) with Pumpkin Pasta Sauce.

• Meatballs, or chicken breasts or thighs in Dijon Marinade.

• Roasted Brussels Sprouts & Delicata Squash with a Maple Balsamic Glaze.

• Fresh artisan bread with herbed olive oil for dipping (that's just putting sea salt and Italian seasoning in a shallow bowl of olive oil, to dip your bread in)

• Espresso brownies.

Dinner for Two, number 3: The Steak Dinner

• So, you really need to stretch your budget here, and can't splurge at all? Here's how to cook a cheap cut of steak so it's tender.

• You got some mid-grade steaks, and would like a good marinade? Try this Dijon Marinade.

• Cream of Mushroom Soup either served in a bread bowl, or with a side of dinner rolls.

• Creamy Goat Cheese Mashed Potatoes.

• Your date can't have nightshades, like potatoes? Za'atar Rice.

• Roasted Brussels Sprouts & Delicata Squash with a Maple Balsamic Glaze.

• Baked Apples or Pears, or a Berry Crumble.

Dinner for Two, number 4: The "Indoor Picnic:"

I mean that, clear out your living room floor, put down a picnic blanket, pillows, the whole setup, and serve a picnic meal.

• Lentil Burgers, with hamburger buns.

• Honey Mustard BBQ Baked Beans.

• Dill Pickle Potato Salad.

• Classic Coleslaw.

• Hawaiian-style Macaroni Salad.

• Three Bean Salad.

• Don't forget the picnic snacks! Especially pork rinds and Creamy Barbecue Dip, and tomato-free "Not Salsa" and tortilla chips.

• Chocolate Pudding is a pretty classic picnic dessert, Chocolate Chip Cookie Bars, Oatmeal Raisin Bars, or a Berry Crumble are all also great dessert ideas.

Did Auntie have your back with these Valentine's date meal idea recipe roundups? Support yr very appreciative Auntie with a tip at ko-fi.com/yrauntie