Crunchy Perimenopause, part 2: "am I too poor to be beautiful?"

tl;dr - no.

That's me, just a few days ago. 43 years old and just past my half-birthday. No makeup, no filters or alterations of any kind, physical or digital. Selfie camera on my iPhone SE 2020. Mix of natural and LED light. Not saying I'm "beautiful," but my hair is awfully dark for being virgin, and my lines are awfully fine still.

Say it with me, ladies - I DON'T OWE ANYONE "PRETTY"! "Pretty" is not my function as a human woman on this planet.

I have a personal philosophy of aging with grace. I don't want Botox, or fillers, or a facelift, I just want to live in my face and put my money towards other things.

This doesn't mean I'm anti-plastic surgery, I'm on the VERY LONG waiting list for a reduction mastectomy. But, I like having an expressive face. The ability to purposefully arrange my face in an appropriate expression has been an important masking ability of mine my whole life. And structurally, we're in a place in human history where we're generations upon generations into the making of each and every human being, thousands upon thousands of people throughout history contributed to this particular configuration of DNA that is me - as much as there are things (like the hypermobility, fuck) that I rather regret kept getting passed down until it landed on me, my face feels sacred in this way.

That being said, in the second half of 43, I am fighting to keep my skin tight and unlined as long as I possibly can. I didn't say I wasn't vain, I said I liked being expressive, whoops. I may not owe anyone, including myself, "pretty" but I certainly owe myself properly hydrated organs and regular UV protection.

While I do have the genetic [advantage?] of having that very soft, elastic neurodivergent skin, I also spent my teens and 20's following a very simple, very crunchy skincare regimen that would be absolutely appropriate for a "Gen Alpha Influencer." Nowadays, I've added in serums. But, the biggest difference I've seen is from the internal components - the hydration and nutrients.

I'll break it all down below. I'll also link to the exact products I use, please know this blog is completely un-endorsed! These companies don't even know who I am beyond a customer number.

External - the skincare!

In order of application:

Evening -

1. Cleanse with a gentle, real soap. I have bounced between Dr. Bronner's Soap in lavender, Olive Oil Soap, African Black Soap, or a handmade soap from a local soapmaker since I was in middle school.

   
   

2. Cleanse again with Kojic Acid Soap, which I treat as like a foaming, rinse-off serum for hyperpigmentation and gentle exfoliation.

   
   

3. Mist with Hypochlorous Acid aka HOCL. You can pay $20 for a little bottle from Tower 28... or the same price for a gallon sold as all-purpose cleaner, like I do.

   
   

4. I discovered hyaluronic acid serum back around 2015, and it solved the combination skin issues I was having at the time. Because of this, I've been able to wear heavier face creams without them sitting on my skin or being too heavy, since the hyaluronic acid pulls it so deeply into my skin. About a year later, the ingredient exploded in popularity, now you can find it in just about anything, but I still keep a basic hyaluronic acid serum as the base of my external skin hydration. This should be your first serum applied, because it takes everything on top of it into the skin with it.

   
   

5. Frankly's Closer Serum. Y'all. This is a legit magic potion. I was dumb last Memorial Day and got a sunburn on my face that finally gave me at 43 the genetic pore widening my mom got at 40. Coincidentally, one of the YouTube doctors I follow put out a video talking about aging pores, and asking followers what they recommend within a week of it happening. Hundreds of people responded, and of all the single ingredients that were most recommended, this serum has all of them. It works very quickly on fine lines, and you see results on your pores in about a month. And it only takes three drops to cover your whole face - forehead, right cheek, left cheek, bring it all into the center to get your nose. Don't forget underneath and in the outer corner of your eyes.

   
   

6. Vitamin E Oil. This is how I lost 50 lbs, and kept the skin on my face and neck tight. Again, just four drops - forehead, right cheek, left cheek, neck/throat.

   
   

7. The Slug. This changes by season. It's winter as I write this, so I'm using cocoa butter. In summer, I usually go to vegetable glycerin, kind of like a waterproof layer to keep from sweating out all the serums, while simultaneously pulling in all the Great Lakes humidity for my skin's use. I know Vaseline, Aquaphor, and Beef Tallow are all popular for this step lately, and I would suggest against them... simply because they're just a protectant at this point, any nourishing value to your skin has been rendered out. They'll work, sure, but a plant butter like cocoa or shea or aloe would also add it's own nourishing benefits alongside being a humectant.

Morning -

1. Another spritz with HOCL, if you must. Let it dry.

   
   

2. Apply sunscreen. I will never hear that and not think Baz Luhrmann is about to drop the beat to a commencement address.

That's it. None of that will break the bank. Certainly none of it is a thousands of dollar procedure.

Internal - the real self care!

You may want to discuss this part with your doctor, order blood work if you need it...

Daily. It only works if you make it a long term habit -

• Water. If you need a Brita filter, get a Brita filter. Also get a water receptacle you'll drink from reliably. Is that a Nalgene-style bottle with "at this time, water line needs to be here" decals? Is that an Owalla or Stanley? Is that a copper bottle from the yoga supply shop? Whatever you know that you'll carry around with you and drink reliably from. I really like Meoky's bottle and tumbler line, especially their 2 in 1 lids - my 2 in 1 lid tumbler keeps carbonated drinks fully carbonated overnight, it's so airtight. And that receptacle needs to be reserved for water. Not "Watertok." Not Mormon sodas. Not sweet tea. Not iced lattes, coffee or matcha. Water. Even LaCroix isn't acceptable, my pelvic floor therapist says carbonation can mess with bladder function. You can infuse it with fruit if your brain needs a little something something. Now drink 2-3 of them a day, depending on the size of your receptacle (I went for the 50oz Meoky tumbler to be the Queen of the Karens, She Who Has The Audacity To Confront The Ultimate Manager, God Himself, in "carnival"). All of the above can still be consumed, just try to keep it to one a day, or as a treat.

  
  

• Electrolytes multiple times per day. I literally have no energy without my electrolyte supplement. I went through my subscription supply too quickly once, and decided to wait out the couple of weeks until my next shipment - I will never do that again. I was miserable.

  
  

• Collagen Peptide Supplements. If you can take a collagen complex, definitely do so, but my allergies keep me taking single collagens for specific purposes. And I put 4 teaspoons of Bovine Collagen Peptides in my coffee every morning. Not only does it make my stomach feel full for a few hours, it has my nails so healthy I don't want to paint or cover them, and is definitely contributing to the 2"/month hair growth I'm currently enjoying. And I think my daily collagen coffees during weight loss contributed a lot to my generally firm skin all over. I have stretch marks, and the inside of my thighs are a bit crepe-ey (no sense in doing anything about that until after my hip heals), but my skin otherwise fits quite well for having lost 50 lbs... twice in seven years.

  
  

• Vitamin C. If the above horrified you because you're animal-free, terribly sorry, but collagen comes exclusively from animals, I checked. If you can't supplement it for dietary concerns, you're going to want to make sure you're getting your vitamin c regularly, both nutritionally and as a serum in your skincare, to help your body produce its own. If you're anemic, like so many of us in peri seem to be nowadays, vitamin c will also help your body absorb iron, including reducing the iron constipation.

• Omega 3-6-9. My brain wants to Get Low every single time. Anyway, this allergen-free (but not vegetarian) seed-based kind that I take also contains a lot of natural estrogenic compounds, so either enjoy the peri support! or try at your own risk!

• Magnesium Glycinate. Does this shut off the ADHD? No. Does it let the physical exhaustion take over a lot easier? Yes.

  
  

• Iron. Definitely more circumstantial, and one you'll want to check your blood work on first, but if you're exhausted all the time no matter how much sleep you get, your skin is dull and sallow, your hair is thinning and greying, and you have dark circles under your eyes... this'll probably help.

• Benefiber. Prebiotics to feed our gut probiotics are super important! I start my day, and I mean this, as I'm brewing my coffee, by drinking 24 oz of water with 1 serving of Benefiber and a double squirt of Buoy electrolytes.

Again, nothing too crazy, financially. Certainly no weekly infusions at a private med spa. It's almost like they're selling you a marked-up brand by telling you skincare needs to be expensive...