So... not daily updates for this one 😅😅 My biggest update for the day is that as of yesterday, my pain wasn't really getting any better at the end of the Oxy, and I pretty clearly have some decent abdominal swelling... so, I'm skipping the Tylenol altogether and taking Ibproufen every six hours instead. After 24 hours of steady anti-inflammatories in my system, I maybe, might actually take that shower today that I've noped out of since Monday thanks to the pain. That's about it, really. I'm napping a lot, around 2pm I crash until dinner, and I still turn in for the night around 8-ish. I'm chatting with friends, and working on design and communication projects when I am awake. I'm also consuming a LOT of fall fashion content, and getting excited to put pieces in my closet together. Summer used to be my favorite season, and my summer wardrobe used to be my favorite to wear... what happened? 😅😅 Rhetorical question - climate change, a spinal cord injury, perimenopause, and a significant body weight change happened. But so did 2026 trends, which happen to fit my personal style perfectly. I haven't been this excited about dressing myself in a very long time, and I've always loved fashion. Which means, I'm also planning places to wear things, too... time to heal up, body, I've got things to do! So... I'm having a much better time today than I was a week ago!

This video pops up on my feed this morning... "if patients have catheters, or maybe central venous devices... we virtually never see this in patients who aren't in nursing homes, or hospital settings..." Yeah, I was in the hospital overnight on a Foley catheter and double-fisting the IV's just a few nights ago... I absolutely don't have it, by the way. Zero symptoms. I just think it's funny I've been flirting with every single public health risk summer 2026 can throw at us. I then went further into my notifications, and realized that my tissue exam results had come in from my hysterectomy. Not only did I have so many fibroids they didn't even bother counting them all once they got in there, the 3.7 centimeter growth was actually a rare, benign adenomatoid tumor. Considering I also have a rare cyst sitting on my brainstem, snuggled against where the artery forks off, this is basically lightning striking twice, as far as rare growths are concerned. I'm just amused, and grateful they're not malignant. Now, I'm also kind of wondering what the third thing is going to be. I'm not scared of cancer, my track record is pretty great there, really, I'm just wondering what other weird thing my body could grow next. Just how creative my cells want to get. I read Lucy A. Snyder's Sister, Maiden, Monster a couple of years ago as part of a reading challenge, and it was easily my favorite book of the year, simply because it is far, far too close to home... First of all, there are enough clues that those who know, know it's set in Grand Rapids, MI. Where I'm from. The "Maiden" character is an asexual, AFAB person with a rare tumor condition. I celebrated this new one's discovery by putting a copy of the paperback on order. I think it's time for a re-read, while I'm convalescing. As for the convalescing, it's going. Today is a painful day. I can really feel the incisions today. I had to take a mid-day Oxy, and the shower I intended to take today is getting pushed to tomorrow, I don't need to stress myself out.

CW: I had an organ removed, and I'm gonna talk details. Welcome to day 3 post-op, where it starts getting properly gory. I mean, it was pretty gory on Wednesday, but I was born with that uterus, it's definitely one of the more visceral organs to begin with. So, more gory than expected, but not so much to be concerning. The pain has kicked in, I wouldn't be surprised if today was peak pain day, or maybe tomorrow. It feels like a pretty average period, for the most part. So, painful, but very localized pain that isn't worrying me at all. THC + the Ibuprofen & Tylenol isn't perfect pain control, but I also don't want to think I'm feeling better than I really am and do too much. The combo takes it down to acceptable if I'm behaving myself, so I can see why they don't load a hysterectomy down with pain meds the way they would a joint replacement. You do need to be able to feel what's going on enough to not injure yourself, unlike with some of the recoveries I've done. If it gets worse, I can take more Oxy than I am, and if it gets worse than that, to the ER I go, because something is wrong. I should probably describe my suture points. The big one, the one that obviously reacts to movement, is through my belly button. The one that doesn't like my guts as they're getting used to moving solid food through again is on the left side of my upper abdomen, over that left bend in the bowel as it goes to its final destination. I then have two other incisions directly below the upper abdomen incision on the left, and a matching one on the hip bone on the right. And the invisible one, the vaginal cuff, which has now replaced my cervix. None are very big, maybe 1/2" to 3/4," it's just a "death by 1,000 cuts" kind of thing when you consider that's 5-6" worth of incision, total, not incomparable to my hip replacement incision from January. They just don't have to be held together by industrial-strength closures like one big one, so dissolving stitches are a nice change. I went from 36 hours with empty bowels to my body just absorbing nutrients from any source, and I made sure the easy sources I have available to me are full of probiotics and prebiotics to build my gut flora back up after all the prophylactic antibacterials and fasting, so I know my bowels are active, but they're... confused right now, especially with the evening Oxy dose. So, I'm guzzling Miralax, and have added some Ex-lax to the party to get things going, heh, on top of the regular wanderings out around the house to keep my legs active. I did this after trying to pass whatever was giving me cramps in my bowels, especially around that upper abdomen suture, caused a blood clot to loosen. ANY pressure is a bit dicey right now, which was what made my peeing problems on Wednesdays so concerning. I'm also shedding this kind of beige-colored film when I'm peeing, though I'm sure it's from the vagina. It's odorless and almost colorless, and not coming with any weird smells or excessive bleeding behind it, so I'm guessing it's some kind of biofilm my body is putting off while it's healing. Do I actually know what it is? Nope, I'll ask my gyno at the post op in a couple of weeks. But. that's a pretty good day 3, all things considered. My mood is high, I got a good night's sleep and a 2.75 hour nap this afternoon, so it's been a productive day, recovery-wise. As for the cats, they seem to have accepted that Mama isn't as fast or flexible right now, but they're also mad about the inconvenience of the whole affair. And we're back! This is getting published 12 hours later than intended, because Elon Musk's internet is hella unreliable. But, that means that I can report that I'm to the phase in healing where the incisions itch. I know this, because I kept waking myself up last night by unconsciously scratching at them (thankfully over my clothes) as I was falling asleep, which of course hurt enough to jolt me back awake. Rinse and repeat until I'm finally able to fall asleep without the instinct to scratch kicking in. I did sleep pretty well once I got there, getting there was the issue.

I've spent my day monitoring my urine color, and water and electrolyte intake, because my body is doing its damnedest to flush all the anesthesia out. Exciting stuff, I know! I also have so far consumed a monster sized fresh peach for breakfast, and a refrigerator oatmeal for lunch, the latter after getting pretty woozy and wobbly and realizing that I was concentrating so hard on hydration that I hadn't kept up the caloric intake. I'm very glad I jarred those up to have on hand! My guts are responding very vocally to waking up properly with all that fiber, but not in a bad way, just in what would be an embarrassing way if this were a board meeting 😅😅 I've also re-upped my body's THC content, and that has helped a TON with the post-op pain. To the point where combined with the Tylenol and Ibuprofen alternating has me not really needing the Oxy right now, as I'm taking it easy. I am getting up to walk around... mostly to get to the bathroom or refill my water tumbler, but I wander a little as I can tolerate once I'm up! Especially since I've had some gas to work out of my shoulder joints. My hands are also doing a lot better... my right hand is almost back to normal size and is definitely back to normal range of motion, and while I have some puncture spots that are individually swollen on my left hand, like bug bites, they've all scabbed over and are obviously starting to heal. Something tells me the bruising will be absolutely stunning in both hands in just a few days. So, rough start, but I'm on the upswing!

I'm on day two without a uterus. It's been a rough couple of days. The surgery itself went perfectly, it was probably the easiest yoink of the day. It was the absolute freak-out my body decided to have after that was the issue. The biggest issue was my blood pressure. Pretty much the minute I came out of anesthesia, my blood pressure went up in the 210/120 range, and stayed there no matter what, so I was admitted for the night on the heart ward for observation. Second biggest issue was my bladder, which needed a foley catheter for around 10 hours after the operation. It didn't go to sleep with the anesthesia, I was well aware of it the whole time, it was just swollen and shifted to the right thanks to the inflammation in my abdomen, so I couldn't release anything. Third biggest when it came to actual danger but number one for me was that they pump your abdomen full of air for the surgery, and that made me so nauseous until my body decided to release it, which took laying flat, and switching from laying on my left to right side every half-hour or so. Though, my BP went back down to normal after a night of belching every time I rolled over. Because of that, nothing more than small sips of anything would sit on my stomach, so I got real dehydrated. Now, I'm a hard enough poke that I have Vascular Access on my chart for basically anything that involves needles. My veins roll like gas station hot dogs. And I was so dehydrated that not only could they not even pull from either of two IV sets (one in each hand), but anything they did get congealed immediately. That got me two more bags of saline... and also four lab techs and a whole lot of pokes. To where my right hand blew up like a balloon after they removed the IV yesterday, it's gone down considerably but is still a little puffy today. And taking out the left IV made one of the lab pokes start to weep, that took all night to finally congeal. It soaked the gauze they put on it. And, of course, the anesthesia leaving the body coupled with the hormonal shock gave me the sweats and chills for about 12 hours post-op. I sweat out a lot last night, too, thankfully without the teeth-clattering shivers. And the shock gave me leg tremors until yesterday morning, which my nurse said are pretty severe as tremors go. Ironically, we passed a billboard driving in from the OTHER hospital system (which I'm also connected to, so I do have access to this) advertising a new sonic treatment for essential tremor, which I may ask my PCP about when I see her in a few weeks. Mine really only manifests when I'm stressed physically or emotionally, but hey, if I'm a candidate, I'd love to dial it down. Pain-wise, I take bone pain better 😅😅 The high-dose Ibuprofen works better than the Tylenol, which, duh. And I have Oxy if it gets too bad. As for bleeding, it was pretty intense for the first six hours or so post-op, but I'm not even spotting right now. I'm told spotting is my signal that I'm going too hard for the next few weeks, and considering I'm not moving too fast right now, no spotting is a good sign. Am I happy I did it? Fuck yeah. I survived, I'll heal, and I don't ever have to worry about the family cancer or having another period again. How did the cats handle it? I am told Penelope, Violet, Hamish, and Milosh spent the entire time protesting my absence. Violet and Milosh are still mad at me, despite being extra cuddly. I would like to start camping and travelling again, but with this co-dependent crew... And as a final lol, my discharge paperwork had this big warning about how they used a medicine in anesthesia that makes oral contraceptives ineffective for a dose or two, so I'd better use a condom if I don't want a post-op baby... you know, for the sex I'm not allowed to have for six weeks, because they just removed my uterus and cervix. That was pretty funny. Oh hey, no more pregnancy tests before my nerve root injections, either! Whoo hoo!

I can't believe its Back To School season already. I have no skin in the game, I've been out of even higher education for 17.5 years and I don't have my own kids going back to class... because I don't have my own kids. But, the pop culture commentary channels are already starting to talk about Bama Rush (and sorority rush season in general), and I'm seeing the high school upperclasswomen putting out Emergency Kit stocking videos to put the younger girls on, which is fantastic of them and I love to see it. I think everyone knows by now that a good, useful bag stock is my JAM, so here's my list of what I include in my own Emergency Kit to this day! Do you need to stock yours with every single thing listed here? Not at all! This is what I find useful, you may not find some of it useful. These kits are very personal, I'm sharing what I fill mine with simply to give you ideas for your own bag you may not have thought of on your own. I know people hate qualifications nowadays, but I'll still give you mine when it comes to day bag preparedness: I mean, it's been literal decades, but I was a high schooler at one time. I even went to the tech center for half the day, so I commuted between buildings. I was a college student, too, and I didn't live on campus... so I had to pack for 12 hour days. My summer job was at Renaissance faires. Using banks of port-o-pots all weekend, all summer. Not to mention, I was one of those day-to-evening Millennial "#GirlBosses" for 10 years. And as someone who has survived in those conditions and lived to bring you these tips, I myself carry with me: Your favorite menstrual products. That's where this whole thing started. I also recommend a spare pair of panties (and maybe also a pair of period panties, in addition to the pads and tampons/discs) folded into a plastic sandwich baggie... if your cycle is unpredictable like mine was, there's no reason to not be fully prepared for everything. Also, keep some extras on hand of the pads and tampons/discs for sharing. You know how the Ladies' Room is. Condoms, dental dams, and sample packs of silicone-based lube. Look. I'm asexual myself, but I'm also a realist. If I'm not going to use it, someone around me will. So, yeah, I do usually keep a Planned Parenthood condom in my Emergency Kit. And yes, I am fine with nebulously giving this advice to high schoolers. Like I said, I'm a realist. I know "the kids" are less promiscuous "these days" than my generation was at the after football game bonfires, but I also know how hormones work. NARCAN. Same as above on all counts. Vulva-safe wipes. You can get them packaged like baby wipes, or you can get them individually wrapped... individually wrapped makes them easier to hand over with the pad/tampon when you're fulfilling your Period Hero duties, just saying. A pocket pack of facial tissue. Sometimes, the stall's out of TP. Flushable toilet seat covers. Your favorite hand sanitizer. Those one-time-use sheets of hand soap. A travel toothbrush with a good cover. A travel tube of toothpaste. Individual tubes of mouthwash. A roll of dental floss. 2oz spritz bottle of HOCL. You can use this as a hand sanitizer, a surface sanitizer, spray it on your toothbrush and toothbrush cover before and after use to keep it clean, and spray it on the crotch of your panties or under your arms as a deodorant. Speaking of deodorant... a travel stick of your favorite deodorant. A travel bottle of talc-free powder, to keep damp areas dry and rubbing areas from creating friction. I like Gold-Bond, but YMMV on the menthol sensation. If you don't like using loose powders, check out "liquid baby powder" in the baby care section, it's a silicone-based lotion that dries to a powder finish. A Poy-sian inhaler stick. Not super common outside of Thailand, I know! Not only does the camphor and menthol smell act as an energizer and help cover bad smells in the environment, you can screw off the inhaler stick and use the oil dropper to apply the oil to your insect bites, which is one of the few things I've found that disrupts the itching sensation. Again, YMMV on skin tolerance to camphor and menthol. A travel bottle of your favorite OTC pain medication. Now, if you're in school, I know a lot of school codes call for all medication to be dispensed by the school nurse, so obviously leave this out if you're bringing this to a school with these rules. If you're not, however... if you're AFAB, you know why. A small brush or comb, a scrunchie, and a few bobby pins. Individually wrapped alcohol swaps. You can use them to clean your glasses, to clean minor wounds and prep skin for a bandaid, for spot disinfecting any surface, and for removing any adhesives or sticky, oily substances. Band-aids. You can usually get a little plastic clamshell with like six bandaids in it for this purpose at a Dollar store, in the travel bins, or with a full-sized box of bandaids as a bonus. A small tube of Aquaphor. Sunblock. Some days, you find yourself outside. Make sure you're ready. Perfume. Why not? We all have random tiny bottles or rollerballs. As for the kind of bag to keep this in... The search terms you're looking for are "makeup bag," "cosmetics bag," "pencil bag," or even "electronics pouch" if you want something water resistant with lots of pockets for stashing. You're looking for something fairly flat, and generally in the 8"-10" size. You will likely find something fairly easily while thrifting, but if not, they're particularly affordable for Back To School. If you know the bathroom stalls you'll be using the most don't have a lot of places to set things down, you may want to consider looking for a small purse with a wrist loop, or cross-body strap so you can wear it while you're using it, or a pouch with a caribiner so you can clip it to the outside of your backpack while you're using the stall. And you're probably wondering where the makeup is? I prefer that to be a second kit. I don't want to risk dropping my mascara in the toilet as I'm digging for my tissues. The toothbrush is risky enough.

My hysterectomy will be an outpatient procedure, unless I need to stay overnight for some reason. So, I'm packing my bag for all eventualities, mostly comfort eventualities. Going over what I packed last time... second verse, same as the first, really. Cervical pillow, which makes lying on your back with a hypermobile neck a lot easier. Sugar skull lap robe - yeah, they have blankets, but they're not fuzzy blankets, and they're only warm when they're fresh out of the warmer. Surgery robe. Apparently, the only time I might need a drain is if the vaginal cuff develops an abscess as it heals. I've never had abscessed sutures before, and I've had plenty of sutures, so I doubt a drain will be used. But it's still the best robe I have for post-op, for a number of reasons, including the knee-length and the exposed forearms for IV access. Dopp Kit, which I don't expect to touch, but it's still nice to know I have it if I do need an overnight, or a touch-up on anything hygienic while I'm there. A paperback copy of Angela Carter's The Bloody Chamber, which is a collection of short stories retelling classic fairy tales from a feminist lens. Seems appropriate for hysterectomy reading! A new playlist of upbeat music, and a freshly charged Bluetooth speaker... I'm bringing my external instead of my muffs this time... it's much smaller than the muffs, mostly, also it doesn't cut me off from conversation with my mom (my surgery buddy) and my care team. My pouch of charging cords and a battery charger that usually lives in my adventure bag. A pair of light absorption period underwear - I was told to expect a little vaginal weeping from the sutures for the first couple of days. A silk bonnet, because the hair growth challenge continues! I'll wear my hair into the hospital in dual cornrows to keep it tidy under the surgical bonnet, and change into my silk bonnet ASAP for length protection. A small box of Bare Bones instant bone broth (not a sponsored link). They like to see how your digestive system handles broth after you wake up from anesthesia, but most chicken bullion cubes have soy protein... so I bring my own. And that's my bag. As I type this, I have 3.5 days left of prep... which is good, as today is a rainy, low pressure day, and I'm only allowed Tylenol at this point, so I'm planning on spending a lot of the afternoon in a hot salt bath. I can get busy later. Though there's not a lot to do... I need to wash the clothes in my hamper. On Monday. I need to wash my bedding. On Tuesday. I need to make a few jars of refrigerator oatmeal, and a fresh batch of fudge balls for snacking. Probably on Monday. Day before surgery is usually pretty exhausting already, between the bedding and the shower. And then, I'm ready.

CW: yeah, in a post about food prep. Because I also discuss orthorexia, religious trauma, trauma from alternative medicine, trauma in general and how it affects the relationship to food, gastroparesis, enemas... and yeah, I have links to my recipe blog in here, too. I kinda forgot about refrigerator oatmeal. You know. The summer time meal prep darling. I do remember the last time I made myself refrigerator oatmeal, and it was honestly pretty traumatic (the situation, not the oatmeal), so it's not surprising it dropped off my radar. I was eating the hot version last January after the hip replacement, because it was January, and a blizzard the entire month, and a cold breakfast wasn't really sounding great. But once spring rolled around, that turned into a simple coconut yogurt with ground flax seeds and honey, mixed on the spot, there you go. Problem being, I can't have flaxseeds until after surgery next week. tfw your diet is so nutritious, the nutrients would screw up the anesthesia. I know I wrote the recipe with flaxseeds, I'm not putting them in for this week. I will definitely put them in for the cups I prep next Tuesday as I'm doing the Laundry From Hell. I'll need as much added fiber as possible post-op! My mother, who did this in 1991 - "I don't remember having to stop taking or eating anything weeks before my hysterectomy. But then, I might have been taking a multi-vitamin." In 1991, we were still Seventh-Day Adventists. I wasn't even baptized until three years later, so, this was a good five years before we formally left the church. Now, obviously, medicine has come a long way in 35 years, as has the medications we use in anesthesia and our understandings of how those medications interact with substances normally found in the human body. But that would have been the peak of her hanging out with the church ladies and their orthorexic diets, not to mention the older lady with the Shaklee supplement shop and the colonics rig in her suburban basement. WHO'S THE CRUNCHIEST BITCH IN THE ROOM NOW, MOM??? Speaking of, apparently an enema used to be part of the deal. As someone with gastroparesis issues, I have a deluxe electric enema system and would be ready if that were a requirement nowadays. I'm not sad that I don't have to add a half-hour to The Shower the night before the procedure, but damnit, I am prepared for the possibility! Which is good, because speaking of things you have to give up, my daily magnesium citrate gummies are a whole week out of my system, and I have a week to go before I can take them again... ugh. So, after that less-than-appetizing narrative diversion... that'll be five cups of refrigerator oatmeal, plus five dinners, three Salisbury steaks with whipped white beans (that's not on my blog, because it's a friend's recipe), and meaty refried beans over polenta, for like a deconstructed tamale bowl. That's probably all I'll want to eat, those are pretty filling! So, that's food set through the first five days. And then, lots of frozen fish and veggies to make rice bowls, as well as somen noodles and broth fixings. And potentially going back to my simple yogurt bowl in the mornings, idk. Refrigerator oatmeal is pretty delicious... It's kind of freaking me out, how casual I am about all of this. Surgery prep has obviously gotten pretty easy. I shouldn't have to be this familiar with the process to be so comfortable with it, damn.

My gyno ordered a CBC differential panel for pre-op, that's the one that looks at all your blood cells and makes sure it's all good, you're not having a reaction to anything going on in your body. Boy oh BOY do I have eosinophilia. Which, I understand just means "too many eosinophils," but my brain wants to read it as "these white blood cells love you SO MUCH!!" Really glad I was never tested on this word in college, it would be the one time my Ancient Greek would have screwed me up hard. Studying Ancient Greek and Biological Anthropology at the same time made both classes so much easier, by the way. Anyway, that means my body is in the throes of an allergic reaction. I take Xyzal every day of the world, and I'm still getting readings like that. Thing is, I'm feeling fine, or as fine as I'm used to feeling. The skin around my eyes is puffier than usual, and my ears are itchy and drippy and making a lot more wax than usual. All things easily ignored, or temporarily fixed with a little bit of rubbing alcohol or hydrogen peroxide. So, now I have a message in to my PCP asking her if she wants to see me before or after I see my allergist. One thing I learned about the Medicaid changes in January is that cases of "medical frailty" and other disabilities are going to be explored independently from SSI Disability application status, by the case manager reviewing your Medicaid application (which makes sense, as folks on SSI Disability are on Medicare). If I need monthly allergy shots, on top of everything else, and that doesn't cinch me on a "medical frailty" (which means having so many doctors appointments, medications, and routine procedures to maintain medical conditions that it would interfere with any set schedule) claim for the Medicaid work requirements... I've been getting all these YouTube tarot readers popping up in my feed with messages about a soul mate coming into my life... which I've always just kinda rolled my eyes at, as an asexual/aromantic (I leave the possibility open, because why not, but I don't actively seek it out, either, and consider myself whole and complete unto myself, not lacking an "other half")... who knew it would be the Hat Man? 🤣🤣

CW: if the title wasn't enough advance warning, I'll be discussing medical tests and procedures, weight loss, my (healthy but very large thanks to lipidema) breasts, and Medicaid/SSI Disability. Today is the last day I can take my Meloxicam. Pray for me 😅😅 Especially considering a storm system came in yesterday, and the minute the pressure dropped, the migraine started. As the pressure hasn't let up yet... I feel like shit. I have a CT angiogram this afternoon, not surgery related, and then a blood draw, that is surgery related. The pressure is supposed to lift by then, of course. I'm looking forward to feeling better, but kind of mad the scan will miss the worst of the symptoms. I was also craving Salisbury steaks yesterday, and purposefully made way too much refried beans and polenta for dinner tonight, so I officially have five frozen dinners pre-prepped for post-op! I've also figured out my instant noodle soup base recipe, which I'm thinking about pre-portioning into an old meds calendar dispenser, not that two powders and two liquids are difficult to assemble in the moment... Same with fish and rice bowls in my rice cooker. And that's food all set. Far less drama than last December! I'm also going on a cocoa butter, weed, and pain med run after the hospital trip this afternoon, and then I'll be set to hunker down for the next seven weeks. In body weight news, I got the bright idea to weigh my breast tissue with my kitchen scale, since that's obviously not going to go away without surgical help. Nine pounds. Five on the right, four on the left. According to this website, that is equivalent to: 1. A Gallon of Milk 2. A Bass Guitar 3. Nine Cans of Soda 4. Two Standard Bricks 5. A Domestic Cat 6. Three Bowling Pins 7. Nine Basketballs 8. Four to Five Pineapples 9. Three Toasters 10. Two Laptops 11. Three Bags of Apples 12. A Small Dog I'm carrying that around strapped to my chest 24/7. With hypermobile neck and shoulder joints. Yeah. And while I didn't lose any size to my breasts thanks to the tissue distribution, I did lose fat, my breasts are noticeably lighter than they used to be. I was likely dealing with 10lb tiddies. That also brings my actual weight down to around 190lbs (for reference, I'm 5'10"). I do still have around 5lbs each in the lipidema pads on my hips to lose, and I'm guessing once my uterus isn't a factor anymore, I'll drop a fairly substantial amount of water weight from my abdomen (which is starting to show looser skin lately). And while BMI is bullshit (see, my boobs), that'll actually put me in the healthy BMI range for the first time in my adult life. For a non-scale victory, I wore a pair of linen pants the other day that were tight in the thighs and a little short when I bought them last fall, nowadays they're perfectly baggy, and because my hips aren't stealing length anymore they're the perfect length. I wore them with a size XL top from Delia's that I found at swap (so, it's Junior's XL, more like a women's L), and it was a little tight in the chest (no surprise) but otherwise fits beautifully. I got a lot of compliments on my outfit! I also got the official notice in the mail yesterday about the Medicaid work requirements, as well as the new every six months renewal process. Considering how fucked the annual renewal process was last year... I'm sure doubling the renewals is going to go swimmingly! I theoretically qualify for the work requirement exemptions, but I'm not going to know until I'm able to re-apply in October, and they review my case. I mean, it's Medicaid, I would hope THEY would know how many specialists I see, and disabilities I have... But if I do get to keep my health insurance, I actually have a chance at taking that nine pounds of breast tissue down to a reasonable size, once my number comes up. In like three years. I'm also going to be re-applying for disability during my recovery period. This time with a different lawyer 🤞🏼🤞🏼

CW: discussion of weight loss through caloric restriction, food cravings, potential surgical side effects, medical trauma and mental health. This might be the most chill I've been before any surgery, major or minor. I absolutely prepped more for my carpal tunnel surgery than I did for this hysterectomy. I mean, having a total hip replacement exactly eight months before certainly helps. This one is an outpatient surgery as long as there are no complications. I'm going to pack my normal hospital bag expecting not to touch the dopp kit, but being overly prepared anyway... which never hurt anyone. I'm even getting that started today - I just mended my surgery robe, which has become my favorite summer robe in general, even with the dropped hem in the corner I've been conveniently ignoring because only my family ever sees it. But, if my surgery team is going to see it, I had better actually take the 20 minutes to fix that 😅😅 I also rescued my cervical pillow and my sugar skull lap robe from my cats, who had dragged them under the bed... I rotated my mattress last night, which made getting at them a lot easier than crawling under the bed. All of the above is currently in the washer getting cleaned and sanitized, before it gets packed and stashed in my closet, away from the cats and their protest peeing. I'm not staying overnight this time, guys!! Probably. I asked my surgeon what she recommended for preparing the house for post-op, and her number one recommendation was to have a few days worth of meals in the freezer. My mom, of course, blanched, considering she hit a good sale and stocked the freezer to the gills not long ago... but I learned last time that having a rice cooker was just as good as having pre-prepped meals. I'm definitely planning on eating a lot of fish, rice, and frozen veggies, all I have on hand already, so I don't even have to go out and stock anything beyond a few Bare Bones bone broth sticks. I will likely bake a couple of loaves of bread, make a couple of batches of my fudge balls for easy, healthy snacks, and put some lentils on to sprout right before going on the operating table. Not a full meal prep, just making a few things easier on myself. And, of course, my mom also has a much better handle on cooking for my diet than she even had back last January, so her planning meals that I can eat helps a lot, too. Recovery time is six weeks, and in that time I can't take a bath or use a hot tub (that's pretty standard), do any swimming at all (the actions of swimming use the core and pelvic floor muscles in a way that can tear the vaginal cuff open as it's still healing), or lift anything more than 10-15lbs (that's my normal weight max, anyway). I do have to get up and walk around as much as I can to prevent blood clots, which is fine, I get depressed if I can't get out of bed after surgery, you can't keep me in bed. I have my post-hip replacement walker on standby, just in case I need a little more support getting up and down than normal as the incisions are healing. As for the eliminating of the meds and supplements, I've been off of my iron and magnesium supplements now for two full days, and I'll be giving up the Meloxicam and the rest of the supplements - including the flaxseeds I eat for breakfast every day - in another three days. Meanwhile, they haven't said a word to me about my marijuana use in two pre-ops. I guess they've decided cannabis and anesthesia don't interact with each other. Back when I started the Major Surgery Merry-Go-Round in 2021, they made you quit using THC two weeks before surgery. Then it was one week, then it was five days, then it was three days... Unlike Certain People In American Society, I'm not going to be pissed off that I was inconvenienced by rules that were later found to be an abundance of caution based on a lack of science in the area at the time. I also know full well, because a nurse navigator flat-out told me, that I don't HAVE to go off of every single supplement, it's just so confusing to cherry pick which ones you can and can't have, it's easier to tell patients to abstain from all of them. Do I have the time to cherry pick? I sure do. Does the nurse? Hell no, and I respect that. As for how my body is handling not getting the supplements its used to, it's starting to throw tantrums via cravings around 7pm. I keep telling myself that as long as I feed the cravings nutritious food, I'm okay - I'm about 20 lbs smaller than I was when I had the hip done. I am to the point where a few extra calories before surgery would give me some extra energy for healing. But, it's weird going from a year and a half of eating in a calorie deficit, to eating definite maintenance calories... that's the difference of a whole extra meal, I'm just not used to being this hungry anymore. I'm not judging myself or anything, I'm just kind of afraid of making myself sick 😅😅 And because you really do need to think of every weird little thing, considering I have a good six weeks of not being able to reach my toes coming up, I'm still deciding whether to very carefully do my own toes (at my podiatrist's encouragement, I've gotten a lot better at it!), or whether I want to go get a real pedicure before the cut. I have eleven days to decide, the countdown is on! And I know I haven't done a hair growth update in a while... I'll likely go down to every other month updates at least for now, with June/July going up next week, and August/September going up after hysterectomy recovery. After a whole month of cancer scare, and preparing myself mentally for the possibility of losing my hair and having to start the challenge over again after I finished treatment... not having to lose my hair was a relief it's taken me a fair amount of time to come to terms with. I didn't really want to talk about my hair at all, I felt like I would jinx such amazing news. Particularly considering I have a LOT to share about my hair. As I've been distancing myself from it, and then re-introducing myself to it, it's been growing like a weed in the background. My initial goal of chin-to-waist length in one year, that I calculated based on my end of 2025 hair growth rates and after some thought walked back to bra-strap length because it sounded so audacious... at the halfway point of the challenge, it's not sounding too audacious anymore. Even with a six week slow-down coming up soon. So, that should be quite the update.

Well, shit, Christopher Nolan. Of course, The Odyssey, Homer's great reflection on aging and legacy, is made into a star-studded summer blockbuster movie that takes over the discourse as I am the same age as the actors playing the human women roles, 20 years after my first reading of the epic poem in college... the same amount of time Odysseus spent literally and figuratively fucking around the Mediterranean while Penelope was at home weaving her heart out and fending off suitors. I even did my Capstone comparing and contrasting various authors depictions of "Penelope" throughout the years, from a medieval story to Margaret Atwood's The Penelopiad. It seemed particularly poignant at the time, as the Afghanistan War was raging, and probably 3/4 of the girls on campus were wearing their boyfriend's dog tags with fancy silencers they bought at Claire's. So now, here I am, telling some bro in the comments who thinks that Lupita Nyong'o, who plays Helen of Troy in the new movie... by the way, this is Lupita Nyong'o at the movie's Paris premiere: Born in 1983. That woman, right there, this bro believes is "too old" to play Helen of Troy in The Odyssey. You know, that story that takes place 20+ years after the Iliad, where Helen is in her late teens? Bro's argument is that Helen is compared directly to Artemis in the Odyssey, you know, the perpetually teen virgin huntress goddess? So, that means she's a forever teenager, duh. My argument, and yes, I made this, is that I enjoy the same perpetual youthfulness that Helen and Lupita both have. It's a combination of lucky genetics, disciplined physical care, and personality/energy, but it doesn't mean we're forever teenagers. We (not Helen of Troy, obviously, but us modern Artemisian 40-year-olds) don't get randomly carded because we don't look 21, we get randomly carded because they're trained to card you if you look younger than 30. No one can confidently say if we're 30 or not based on our physical appearance and irl energy, so we get carded even though we're over 40. Being able to pass for 29 at 44 is pretty great, really, but that's nowhere near being able to pass for 19. And I think this pulls right into the current discussion among Millennial women about going on TikTok claiming you "don't look your age," asking people to guess your age, and having them humble you quickly because frankly, you're purposefully putting yourself right out there wide open for it. Me? Here's 17 vs. 41: I don't care how well you age, you're going to mature. Change is going to happen, even if it isn't wrinkles and skin sagging. For instance, I used to get so tan in the summer... 😭 Three years later, I don't even look like that anymore. I'm somewhere around 75lbs smaller, and my hair is quite a bit longer now, and has actually darkened up some thanks to my iron supplementation. Age is so much more than just wrinkles. I know bro is on because he's dunking on other commentors. So, I asked him if he realized that his insistence on Helen of Troy never aging in any way to remain the most beautiful woman in the world was directly correlated with the Epstein-ification of Millennial culture that we Millennial women have all had to confront and come to terms with since the latest release of Epstein Files information? He's taking his time trying to figure out how his "I'm not racist about hating the Helen of Troy casting" stance turned into an "I'm a pedophile" stance, whoops. And no, I have not seen the movie. If I see the movie, it'll be here at home once it hits streaming. I'm waiting for a hysterectomy, three hours without a bathroom break is too much to ask of me right now. Especially considering I've already written about how I hate what I've seen about the movie design. But damn, that very Millennial college degree sure is coming in handy right now! Especially considering that time spent in the Classics department spent surrounded by all these feminists led to further study into intersectional feminism as time went on... it cracks me up so hard that the Manosphere wants to adopt the Classics as their own dude subject, when my actual degree in the subject is absolutely the root of my feminism and activism. Suck it, boys. Update: that son of a bitch in the comments responded by having ChatGPT formulate his argument for him, and just copy and pasted it in response to me. I fucking hate AI. I responded that I didn't spend multiple years learning dead languages and using my human brain to access other human brains throughout history to study this very subject to have some fucking dudebro in the comments think he can win an argument by copy and pasting from an AI chat bot. Particularly when he completely ignored my challenge to defend his position against pedophilia. Because he can't. Because here's the main point of Homer. Here's the reason why The Odyssey is making Christopher Nolan summer blockbuster numbers in 2026. Here's what you actually learn about these epics if you seriously, formally take up the study of Classics - the stories are important, because they're still relevant. Our discussion of what Helen of Troy should look like in her 40's in the shadow of how Jeffrey Epstein shaped Millennial culture through pedophilia is exactly the conversation Homer wants us to have right now. According to BroGPT, Nolan gave his Helen a scar on her face. Again, I haven't seen the movie, and I didn't notice a scar in the production stills I've seen of her, but whatever. My own face is unmarked thanks to Kojic acid and full spectrum vitamin e oil, but the rest of my body is covered in stretch marks, surgical scars, and tattoos. Shit happens. You eventually realize you can't be quite so precious with something so fragile that you're expected to live in. It's called maturing. Now, here's the thing - bro's argument is that an aging, scarred Helen is contrary to how Homer depicts her, which even the AI says is very generalized. Nowhere in any of the citations the AI gives does it say anything about her looking like a teenager, just that she does not look "haggard." I don't look haggard. I still have scars. Lupita sure doesn't look "haggard." And most of Homer's depictions of her are of her charisma and personality, not her physical appearance. But what bro is completely missing is that The Odyssey is a living story. It does not matter that the original story has been told for millennia, or that the current re-telling is set in a Mediterranean so ancient there's monsters everywhere, this particular retelling is being released at the same time as The Epstein Files. This particular retelling is going to be regarded within the same culture as the one that Epstein shaped, and that we are now learning just how much of a hand he had in its current condition. This Helen, and this Penelope, both grew up under the influence of Epstein, same as the rest of us Millennial women. One responded by pumping her face so full of Botox that she can't properly emote anymore. The cleverest woman in Greece, and the most talented artist, played by the woman who sacrificed her art for youth and a beauty ideal shaped by a cannibalistic pedophile. As far as I can tell, Lupita has kept the cosmetic enhancements to a minimum, if she's indulged at all. The aging, ethereal beauty playing the aging, ethereal beauty, both making men confront themselves with their morals and ideals. Welcome to the world of Homer. It doesn't die. Because it's the story of humanity itself. And might I point out to bro, who is likely Gen Z, that this movie is coming out 20 years after Millennials ended their own war? Like, literal war. There was a reason Troy was the sword & sandal blockbuster back then. I remember the veterans' therapeutic reading circles. See my Capstone project, referenced above. We're kinda used to this. He may want to get used to it, considering America's back fucking around in the Middle East again. There's a reason Homer's in the zeitgeist. He's showing us who we are, again. Oh shit. I just realized that this guy keeps invoking ARTEMIS to defend his pedophilia and racism. Oh, buddy. My asexual, teenage archery champion ass knows her WELL. I just let her know she has a new hunting dog ripe for the training, if she wants him. This is how she responded. Hope he has fun 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 If that surprises you, you may want to look into the link between asexuality and BDSM. Yeah.