Reclaiming beauty standards.

This one's for my AFAB Millennials. And it has content warnings of pedophilia, human trafficking, torture, and eating disorders.

The biggest conversation everywhere but on US media as I write this is The Epstein Files, particularly the early 2026 "info dump" that made it brutally obvious that Jeffrey Epstein, likely the literal Antichrist, known pedophile (among other things), controlled pop culture for girls and women for 30+ years. A lot of women are coming to terms with how men like Epstein, and Victoria's Secret owner Lex Wexner, had Millennials wearing words like "juicy" printed over their butts when they were 10 years old, and then heading straight in to get their crotches waxed bald once a month by 18 years old, at the latest. They're putting together where fashion and pop culture trends really originated from, and it has been a lot to unpack for a lot of women.

Yeah. Feminists were unpacking the symptoms we were seeing of this in culture back in the day. Of course they called us "feminazis." Of course they purposefully mischaracterized feminist philosophy. They got ten extra years of selling and torturing children out of it.

Anyway.

Now that we know, we can do better as a whole. And as one of those fore-runners of stepping away from patriarchial pedo culture, I've done my personal unpacking and "the work," and I have some advice on how to move beyond what the creepy rich men want and understand what you want for yourself.

First of all, the only person who gets to have a significant, actionable opinion about your body is you. It's definitely not your partner, especially if your partner is a cis man. People who aren't you can have an opinion, but their opinion is secondary to your opinion about your own body. You get to regard or disregard their opinion at your discretion.

Body hair is usually where people start to deconstruct here. This doesn't mean you need to grow out a 70's style hairy muff if you don't want to... but this is your permission to grow it out if you've always wanted to, upcoming bikini season be damned. The beach will get whatever body you give it. If a guy deems you unfuckable for it - he didn't want to fuck you. And uncertain sexual relationships aren't the best idea right now, anyway, especially considering 40,000 people came out of spring break 2026 with STD's from Houston, TX alone, with one guy testing positive for literally every single STD they know of. Same with shaving or otherwise removing any body hair - if removing it makes you more comfortable, go for it. If it's always something that's irritated your skin and given you ingrown hairs, maybe consider letting it grow.

Another thing to consider is your blonde hair. If you need to pay someone $250+ per month to maintain your hair color, it's not your natural color. You were blonde as a child because, unless you're a very specific kind of Scandinavian or Dutch, blonde is a child's hair color. Fun fact, there's this Romani genetic thing where every so often, a very towheaded, blue-eyed child is born. My dad and brother both got this quirk - my dad's eyes darkened but stayed blue, my brother's are as black as mine now. Both have black hair. Nobody would call them "natural blondes," they call them "towheaded children."

Now, for what you put on your body, that's all you. And it's something you're going to need to do some work with, considering it's likely never been truly all you before - you've been told how to dress by men, for men your whole life. I recommend experimenting. Clothing swaps, and thrifting makes this a lot easier than just heading to the mall, especially if you're on a budget, and especially if you want to make damn sure your purchases aren't lining a trafficker's pocket. I started with wearing all the clothes I wanted to wear as a teenager, and couldn't, due to my body size (tall, heavy, and busty) and my family's conservatism. This included lingerie - yeah, I'm asexual, but I'm also a Taurus Venus and Libra Mars... if it's pretty, and lacy, and oozes sensualism, I'm going to want to participate, in my own way. And my own way was plus sized lingerie modeling for a few years. In my late 30's and early 40's. I was fat and middle aged, the exact opposite of what society tells me is sexy - freedom, baby! I'm gonna put my unsexy body in ALL the lace and murder widow robes, because I want to wear the shit out of that stuff and look and feel beautiful. For myself.

Of course, we're all going through mass deconstruction of our body image while we're entering peri/menopause, perfect timing really - might as well treat this as second puberty! For me, I'm deconstructing as the hot flashes are ramping up, and frankly, hot flash preparation is the first thing I consider when I'm purchasing or swapping for summer clothing nowadays. Super light materials, as little polyester as possible, and proper underthings for off-shoulder, cropped, and sheer clothes (generally bandeau bras and flesh-toned underwear). And since I've lost so much weight, bundling up in the winter is priority, so like a good Michigander, I focus on interesting layers. I just got the wildest faux cheetah fur vest from Cracker Barrel, of all places...

If this is the first time you've ever even considered your own style, I would recommend knowing your color season and your body type to start, and start exploring what kinds of clothes you genuinely like to wear, and feel comfortable and stylish and well-represented in.

Speaking of weight, you're allowed to be a healthy weight. You don't have to be lean like a prepubescent child to attract a man, or obese to repel or arouse a man. You live in your body for you. And when you've taken back control of more aspects of yourself from the patriarchial, pedophiliac culture, you'll feel a lot more control in general, hopefully enough that you can loosen up your restrictive or binge eating. By the way, if you are living with an eating disorder, please seek treatment. Real treatment from a real person. The poison can run deep... and you'd haul your ass to the ER if you were bit by a rattlesnake, or ingested arsenic, there's certainly no shame in seeking medical treatment for deliberate mental poisoning by unethical people.

This is where we also need to confront the fear of aging that's tied into to pedophilia culture. First of all, if I have learned anything in the past five years, it's that what you put in your body is more important than what you put on your skin, when it comes to your skin health. Your skin is your body's largest organ. It functions the best when all your other organs are functioning their best. Why? They're all organs. They all function together. Your skin is super absorbent, yes, but not as absorbent as your guts. If you're looking at 40, your skin will thank you a lot more for proper daily hydration with quality electrolytes (deep sea mineral sourced, not baking soda, potassium, and high fructose corn syrup sports drinks), a fiber rich diet sitting around 2K calories per day, depending on your body's needs, and collagen, vitamin c, vitamin d, and iron supplementation as your bloodwork dictates, than it will for regular Botox and fillers. On the outside? Prioritize sun protection, and use the simplest formulations of ingredients that are best for your unique skin. Again, this is about making our bodies comfortable vehicles to live in, not making them commodities for pedophiles to get rich on.

And that means making our bodies healthy so we can go out and get shit done, and wearing whatever the fuck we want while we do it.

Someone who's been doing an excellent job of deconstructing out loud - not only in her personal style, but in her public deconstruction content on TikTok and YouTube, is @KnittingCultLady, who you should check out if you want a regular voice about deconstruction from someone doing it in your feeds. I found early on that following the people doing the things you want to be doing is a great way to get into the energy of actually going out and doing it. Tell the algorithm what you want, with your purest intention behind it, and it can help you kick off a whole journey you never thought you could or would take. How do you think I discovered North African haircare? It wasn't talking to the Dutch-American farmers who live around me...