This is one of those points that I very clearly remember my mother reaching about 15-20 years ago. She flew to San Francisco, and splurged on a full Bare Minerals kit before finally declaring herself makeup-free, mostly because she had too hard of a time finding brands that didn't irritate her eyes and skin, but it was also too hard to find makeup that sat well on maturing skin. I'm learning now that it's not just "fine lines" she was talking about - perimenopausal hormone changes give your skin a whole different texture. You can not have new wrinkles, but still have a whole new skin situation to deal with, especially when it comes to how primers and foundations work. I should probably frame this with a little backstory - I spent the first 14 or so years of my life a practicing Seventh-Day Adventist, I went into the makeup experimentation years being told it was sinful and not to use it, so I didn't exactly develop any skills or a routine when it came to makeup. Skincare? I've always been fastidious. Makeup was for special occasions. Even after I stopped practicing Adventism and could wear makeup, I still stayed away from it. I left religion about the time Riot Grrl was gearing up, and while I was too young to participate at the time (and too Midwestern, for that matter, where was a 14 year old kid in rural Michigan in the early 90's going to get radical zines and bootleg music recordings? Do keep in mind I was the oldest daughter and granddaughter, and when I did get adopted as a little sister by a "cool big sister," she was a "Lilith Fair" indie girl), I was fully rebelling against the performance of femininity, and what's the most performative performance of femininity we have in our culture? I certainly wasn't going to sacrifice my precious teenage sleep for it, when I was expected to be at a desk thinking clearly FAR too early for my ADHD brain that was up all night contemplating the nature of the universe, while my logical side screamed hours left before the alarm goes off at the ADHD part. I have never seen the Showtime channel's series Billions, but being part of the queer community, I've seen plenty of pictures and clips of the character Taylor Mason, played by Asia Kate Dillon. Anyone who knew me in high school and didn't keep up with me in the slightest probably thinks I look like Taylor Mason nowadays. But when I got a 2010 situationship with an art museum fresh out of college, I needed to visually blend into the staff and setting, and I had to do it fast and cheap. Between the earliest years of Pinterest not being just style inspo, but a whole personal styling master class, and working in an environment that encouraged professional expression, lo and behold, I discovered the performance of femininity. Hard. And I also discovered that while makeup wasn't "required" or "needed," the right amount of makeup elevated a look in a way I couldn't not participate in. I even signed up to sell Younique to build a collection (that's an MLM makeup business) - I can explain. My presenter number had four digits, and began with a 3. A still close friend got me into it, I was building a professional makeup wardrobe on a post-recession recent graduate budget, and this was so ground floor that they were working with sample products that were actually really good... those disappeared and were replaced with pure shit the minute they built a presenter base, but I digress. I didn't get into the whole face contouring thing until 2020 - I literally never wore foundation before then, just a dust of tinted powder. One of my pandemic binges was Trixie Mattel's videos of her doing her full drag makeup with drugstore brands, and reviewing the brands as she was demonstrating her makeup techniques... that are so purposefully exaggerated that the whole contouring and face sculpting thing finally clicked for me. I've done my own photo shoot makeup a few times now, with varying results 😅😅 Being homebound for the past two years but in much more pain than I was in in 2020 has meant my makeup wear has gone back down to special occasions (which don't happen too much) and that's about it. I did a big clean out of my old makeup last year, kept a few things for those special occasions, gave what was still good to a drag queen friend, and dumped the rest. I purchased a handful of fresh products, mostly going back to my brows, mascara, blush, and a dusting of tinted powder roots of 16 years ago. ... and then I took these pictures, which you will also see in my May Hair Challenge update: ... and I immediately put lip pencils and lip oil on order 😅😅 I'm not wearing any makeup at all in these pictures. I didn't even bother covering the scar on my cheek, which you're still pretty hard-pressed to see (I'll have a post about that later). But the rules have already changed, thanks to the headwraps. I need a lip pop. It's potentially the only makeup I need at all. But dang, I've always had lilac-colored lips, but I don't remember them getting so pale 😅😅 It's not just that, I have a green primer to take the rosacea down if needed. And apparently no one wears eyeshadow or mascara anymore? Unless you're Zara Larsson or Zara Larsson inspired.

The first part of the blog post I wrote this morning was a lot of me thinking out loud about how to practically prepare for a drought potentially severe enough to cause water rations. Yes, like I'm sure most everyone else my original thought was how to stockpile water, but that's not practical at all... not only would you need the collection and storage equipment (I don't have the space for a water tower, I measured), but water goes stagnant. The question to ask is, "how do I adapt to a low water situation?" Actually, pretty simple for me - I have chronic pain and weakness/balance issues, I'm used to not fully showering for more than a week or two, just keeping up on the hygiene things that keep me from smelling like BO - having a "hello kitty," if you will. We know from the California droughts in the 2010's that water rationing basically starts with no bath tubs, no hot tubs, no pools, 2 minute showers, and going as long between showers as possible. If I'm going to stockpile for those conditions, it would be for the hygiene wipes I use to kill the bacteria that makes your kitty say "hello," if you know what I mean... So, to keep it not up to my ADHD, I put a subscription on my favorite hygiene wipes. I have two packages delivering every six weeks, which at the rate I generally use them should get me a nice little stockpile going by the end of the year. And then I sent the group text something like "nowhere in the Book of Revelations did it mention anything about stockpiling pussy wipes being an important part of the apocalypse." So, I'm sitting here writing this thinking to myself "should I really be announcing that I'm stockpiling hygiene wipes? I mean, what if they're scarce and someone tries looting my house?" Now I'm like "NOWHERE in the Book of Revelations did it mention anything about the possibility of having to shoot a looter in the head over a package of pussy wipes." I mean, I would absolutely rather be doing the absurdist apocalypse over the grimdark apocalypse, it suits my personality better. But holy shit, we are reaching levels of absurdity here. For the record, I can smell a good hyperfocus on the hygiene practices of cultures from arid climates coming on, in addition to a good wipe collection, and probably a lil' stockpile of HOCL and white vinegar, too... I'm also researching my options for building my camp mess setup. This is my 10 year anniversary of really taking up camping as a summer hobby, and I've always done the majority of my food prep in my home kitchen, and really just heated or re-heated what I've brought, to varying levels of success. Now, with all my allergies? You'd think I'd just do the same, but I'm looking at creating myself a travelling kitchen, complete with a pantry in miniature, all pre-packed and ready to go. Add a few fresh groceries to the cooler each time I go out, and I can cook myself all kinds of things while I'm camping or tailgaiting. Or at an Air B&B, you have to bring your own food to those, too, including the pantry ingredients. I used to budget $100 for a 3-day weekend's worth of food. This is going to make camping even more affordable... I had to have been the meal coordinator for a Silk Road Caravan, or ran the Mess Wagon for an American Wagon Train in a past life. I love this shit.

They're predicting a Super El Niño for fall/winter 2026-2027. Potentially the worst we've ever seen, which, considering where we're at in the process of climate change wouldn't surprise me. That means that my rural, farming area is facing a potential drought. Considering over-construction has drained the county water table (did I mention I live in a coastal county?), Nestle's been paying off the state government for water-drawing rights that are nowhere near sustainable up north of me, and they're building a data center to the SE of the metro area I'm in... this should be interesting. I'm typing this as there's a hard downpour happening, ironically. I think we're all about to learn that Water Is Life. It's not just a catchy protest slogan. The good news? We have all summer to get ready. Stockpiling water is impractical for the average citizen (understatement of the year), but summer is a great time to brush up on your non-shower personal hygiene techniques (it's the bonus section at the end). Take some time to get used to your low-water lifestyle so it doesn't hit like a pile of bricks when it happens. Buy a new pack of micellar wipes every couple grocery trips. Other places are looking at catastrophic flooding, because the water has to go somewhere. Which means potential evacuations are something folks living in these areas need to consider. Now is the time to make plans with your family, who's in the car with you and where you're going. Now's when to be sure you have all of your important documents on hand, in a waterproof container, and in a place that's easy to grab and pack. It's also the time to have your pets vetted, and have their important documents ready to go, along with their travel gear. As for preparing yourself for a bug-out (as someone who learned all of this as a pre-teen with severe anxiety, I hate how fucking loaded the word "bug-out" is in the prepper's lexicon, but that is what we're putting together here if we're bring honest. Congratulations, you'll also be prepared for zombies 😅😅), having a Dopp kit packed with your hygiene items, an "adventure bag" packed with your day-bag basics, a bag with a functional selection of clothes, and anything from a few shelf-stable just-add-hot-water meals to a full camp mess setup will have you ready for all kinds of outings, evacuations included. Why not get all of this ready while you're chill and have time, it's a lot less to worry about if you do get the call to pack up and go and you do have a very serious time crunch in which to do it in. Hopefully, that level of preparation gets you on the road well before the rush, but if you think you'll be spending a crazy amount of time in your car, and want to fix yourself hot meals while you're there, I have a list of small electrical appliances for that over on my recipe blog. I also wrote a guide to sheltering in place in a snowstorm last winter, that discusses how to bug-in in electricity-free cold conditions. Even if you're not expecting cold conditions, there's tips for pantry and bathroom prep that can be used any time you need to shelter-in-place without electricity. And since nothing brings a community together like shared trauma, here's a recipe for Chicken & Rice Soup that's made straight from the pantry on a single burner, which means it's easy to scale and serve to your neighbors. If you clicked through any of those links, you probably noticed that most of them aren't specifically about disaster prep. They're about theme parks, and music festivals, and beach days, and girls' weekends, and camping trips. They're about cooking for yourself from scratch in all kinds of situations, because that's what you have to do when you have a ton of food allergies. I made that soup for dinner last night thanks to leftover rice that needed to be used, and my family demolished the pot. I've been scolded for prepping before by "manifesters" who think that putting any energy towards a negative outcome will assure that outcome, so prepping is the worst thing you can possibly do, will I THINK OF THE CHILDREN??? Yeah, glad Joseph didn't say that when God Himself gave him dreams and prophecies of seven years of plenty followed by seven years of famine, so Joseph was able to work with the Pharoah to create grain stores during the "time of plenty" that saved Egypt during the famine. But aside from that... I'm prepping for FUN. I'm prepping for travel, I'm prepping for live music, I'm prepping for time in nature... and I'm making my kitchen an ingredients kitchen to cook around my food allergies, but this had been nothing but miraculous for my health - my lipidema went away. Nothing about this is coming from a place of fear. It's coming from a place of living my life in the best and richest way I can, and realizing that these methods can be adapted to any situation if needed. So, bring it Giant Baby. I'm ready for you, tantrums and all. And hopefully, these posts can help more folks get their shit in a pile before he gets here, too. And have a good time in the meantime.

This video just made my blood boil: Does she not look like every single one of your grandma's friend's when you were in grade school? I don't care when you were in grade school or where, I'm betting, if you're of anglo-saxon descent or roll with those who are, you've known so many women in their 50's who look just like her. And they're some of the best ladies in your life, you know it. And she's being bullied for being "trans." Or a "lesbian." First of all, I got hit with that one the first time when I rejected a guy's date invitation - which I suspected would be a humiliation ritual anyway. "Oh, so you're a lesbian?" This was back in 1998, when it was widely considered a "bad thing" to be a lesbian (see the cult classic 1999 movie "But I'm A Cheerleader")... he was really baiting me there. Problem being, my ace and autistic ass (though I was aware of neither at the time) both saw right through the bait, and also didn't think being a lesbian was a shameful thing. So, even though I wasn't, I told him I was with my full chest. This was after having endured my formative years constantly being asked "are you a boy?" (in a bullying way, as I was a hyper-feminine dresser with a name widely considered "princess-esque") because my mother didn't want a thing to do with my curly hair, so she kept it cut close to my head my entire childhood. So, there's always been social correction for any display of divergence in gender expression, no matter how innocuous... or how uncontrollable. That's a known fact for anyone who's ever put a toe out of line. Using my own experience again, I'm 5'10". I was 5'11" before the spinal disc removal. And the lipidema gave me bazongas, y'all. Without a bra, the nipples hover just over my belly button. They're my only "loose skin" that needs removal... when I lost the fat, I didn't lose the tissue, so they lost density but not volume. A little easier to carry, but with the actual shrinkage in my hips, waist, and thighs, I'm actually, literally the proportions of a living Barbie doll right now. You know, the most feminine object in the world? There's also no plastic surgeon on the planet that would make a boob job look like these. I'm on the list for a plastic surgeon to make them look not like these, purely for health reasons. Between my hips now being narrower than the shoulders I need to carry these tits around, and my height, and the anti-trans "biological male" rhetoric going around in the United States right now, I have absolutely been eyeballed going into the ladies room. Not harassed, thankfully, but definitely obviously given some very hard looks. Which is funny, considering I've had trans lady friends tell me I've been an Amazonian inspiration, which I love. Because height has nothing to do with femininity. Just because a man wants his women to be small and breakable and therefore defend-able doesn't mean my asexual ass has to comply with his sexual fantasy. There are plenty of women out there who would be "his type," and goddess protect them. Aphrodite is a goddess of love, yes, but also war - you think she's going to be some tiny, defenseless thing? And because she's not some tiny, defenseless thing, you're going to accuse her of being a man? You may want to look into Hermaphroditus sometime. And then consider Mama Aphrodite is a goddess of LOVE and WAR. And as someone who has participated in multiple 24 hour live performances of Homer's Iliad, I can tell you that shoving a spear up one's opponent's ass for it to emerge somewhere around the eyeball region is The Homeric Way. Not the way I expected to use my Classics degree, but here we are, 17 years later... 😅😅 Now, the fact that people should be able to choose to live their lives however they want, as long as they're not hurting anyone - and trans people and lesbians are obviously not hurting anyone around them by being trans or lesbian - should have nipped all this hate in the bud, but we humans sure do love to feel that sense of superiority when we cast judgement on others, don't we? Well, here's an additional argument for you - policing "biological males" hurts all women. Anyone who might not fit someone's narrow definition of femininity can be declared "trans" and therefore subject to harassment and abuse. They won't care that your little sister has a cross around her neck, a Bible in her bag, and a tampon in her vagina, if she's a little too tall, too square-jawed, too athletic for their tastes, they could do awful things to her under the guise of "I though she was one of those trans." And protecting her smaller, "more feminine" friends will be the excuse, so guess who's going to have survivor's guilt there? This is where hate gets you. And yes, a lesbian woman has been severely beaten for looking too masculine while using the ladies room once already, not to mention the multiple incidents of harassment reported by cisgender women I found while looking for my source for the above, this isn't a fantasy extrapolation. I had to leave this on a lighter note.

It's okay, my boobs laugh at those lacy things, too. And as a current 36K US myself (that's a 36I British), we need to talk about how we're keeping our underboob from rashing out and splitting apart when the temperature rivals that of the hotter regions of Hell this summer. I'm about to make bra recommendations. None are sponsored. All (okay, most) have been actually worn by me, on my 36K's (which have also been 38J's and 40I's in the recent past - the weight loss dropped my band size and my breast density, but my breast volume is the same as it's always been). All are the best of multiple brands' versions of the style that I have tried in the past. For everyday wear: FeelinGirl LLC's Everyday Wireless Unlined Bra. I wear size XL. Fun fact: I've had two separate laminectomies (that's where they remove a hunk of your spinal vertebra to get to the cord/nerves underneath) at T10-12. Those happen to be exactly at the level where my bra band sits. As a matter of fact, standard back closure bras sit right on my Fibromyalgic scar site. These bras are constructed like a cross between shape wear and a standard sports bra. They do provide legitimate light support, enough to keep my underboob vented. For strapless wear: Every large breasted woman needs a good bandeau bra, for casual strapless wear. If, for no other reason, sunburned shoulders. In researching this post, it doesn't look like Yitty makes their bandeau bras anymore, which took me some time to wrap my head around. A few years ago, when I discovered shape wear beyond high-waisted shorts, I tried the brands on the market making bandeaus at the time, and Yitty was far and away the best bandeau strapless bra for large breasts. Which means I can't recommend any of the brands that have popped up in the meantime, as my original Yitty bras are still in my wardrobe, going strong. However, based on past experiences with the brands, I'd try FeelinGirl's or Shapermint's before trying any of the others I'm seeing on the market here. Update, 5/22/2026: FeelinGirl ran a huge sale on what they call a bandeau bra... it's constructed like a standard strapless bra, which have never worked for me. It's padded, and it had back closures. It's not the "tube top" style I need, so it's going back. I still haven't tried Shapermint's version. For no bounce whatsoever: Glamourise's Full Figure, Plus Sized, No-Bounce Sports Bra. These unsexy motherfuckers run tight, so I'd get a 38J for myself right now, while measuring at a 36" underbust. For deep plunge & racer back wear: Delimira Women's Front Closure Full Coverage Bras. Mine are size 40H, and they still fit and lift well with the straps all tightened to their shortest point. Because the sizing stops at an H cup, if you're like me, you may need to work with sister sizing.* And as for swimwear: yes, there are brands that make bra-sized swimwear, and in extended sizes! *A brief note on sister sizing - bra cup size is relative to the bra band size. I went through the size progression I did, because to go down two sizes in the bra band, to keep the cup size the same as when I started, I had to go up two cup sizes to compensate for sizing down in the band. Because bra bands generally have at least three levels of eyes to hook your bra to, knowing how cups and band sizes work in proportion to each other means that while your actual fit will fit you the best, a sister size will also be a comfortably fitting bra for you, if you need to go up or down a cup size for any reason. Oh, and if you don't know your true size, here's the A Bra That Fits Calculator. Go get a measuring tape and learn how to fit your own undergarments. That can help a LOT with the underboob issues. Now, as for that rash and splitting skin issue... My skin is absolutely loving kokum or mangosteen butter. In it's raw state it's very solid, you may want to soften it up a bit and use a hand or stand mixer to whip it up with a little vitamin e oil for quick underboob application - I'd do 1 teaspoon of vitamin e oil for every 8 oz of kokum butter. You can also make a dusting powder with your favorite kitchen starch - cornstarch, arrowroot powder, tapioca starch, etc. Place 8-12oz of your starch in a 16oz jar with a tight seal, and then scent cotton balls with your favorite EDPs, perfume oils, or essential oils to create your custom dusting powder fragrance. Seal up the jar with the starch and scent balls inside, and place in a drawer or cupboard for 12-24 hours to let the fragrance permeate the powder. Now, it goes on in that order - kokum butter, then dusting powder. Then, put on your bra. BONUS! How to clean your underwire bras without ruining them! Grab your 2-3 gallon utility bucket. Sort your bras by color, unless you have multiple buckets, you'll be doing this in batches. If your bras have embedded gunk in the armpits and under wires: Fill your bucket with 1-1 1/2 gallons of hot water (tap hot is fine), add your bras, then 1 cup white/distilled vinegar, and 1/2 cup baking soda. Give the bucket a good stir, and let sit for an hour or two before rinsing your bras thoroughly, and hanging them to dry. If your bras are stanky no matter what you do: Fill your bucket with 1-1 1/2 gallons of hot water (tap hot is fine), add 1 tablespoon of Dettol and stir before adding your bras and stirring again. Let sit for an hour or two before rinsing your bras thoroughly, and hanging them to dry.

The push is on to make 2026 the new 2016. Just in case you were wondering what yr Auntie over here was doing in 2016, I was working a “cool media job” in a midsized Midwestern US city known both for for its microbrewery, and arts culture. After work was small venue concerts, and art museum exhibition openings, and penthouse keggers with the city’s intelligentsia. I was the Queen of the Hipsters, you guys. I lived the whole scene life. 2016 was also the year I was formally diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. Fifteen years after my first flare, but that’s a pretty standard wait for diagnosis, especially since I was pre-ACA and went six years between aging off my dad’s insurance, and getting my own. Like I said, I have been uninsured before, I know what to expect coming up. As for what I looked Iike? This is the actual professional headshot I used at the time, for my “cool media job.” Photo by Johnny Quirin, who had to stop laughing at the sweater long enough to take the picture. I do still have the sweater. And the pearls, for that matter. I believe 2016 is also the year I started thrifting and swapping in earnest. That’s about the time my friend Mindi brought her plus-sized, new pallet purchase & thrift mix shop to my area, and we girls got CUTE on City Chic brand dresses. Plus, the natural hair movement was in its infancy still, but I had enough luck with the LCO method that for the first time in my life, I had hair. Apparently, I also have the pulse on the cultural shifts, because while I don’t have that “cool media job” anymore, “recipe & lifestyle blogger” is so 2016 coded it hurts 😅😅 Also, I seem to remember competition for the Halloween Costume of 2016: Kristen Wiig as Maddie Ziegler in Sia’s Chandelier video, and David S. Pumpkins. Yes, both Saturday Night Live sketches. I may be off by a year either way. Regardless, I expect the same energy for Halloween 2026. Update, 5/20/2026: The more I get into the year, and start asking "when was that?" the more I realize it was 2016... That Fibro diagnosis was in March 2016... and the prior authorization for my Cymbalta was approved the week after my first trip to New Orleans, Louisiana in mid-June. I spasmed the night before the trip, but was able to manage it with the meds I had been cleared for and didn't miss anything we had planned to do on the trip. 2016 was also the year of the Pulse Nightclub shooting in Orlando, Florida, and I was in New Orleans for Pride Week, so that was a lot of "being brave is being scared and doing it anyway," but that's the queer experience for you. And speaking of Cymbalta, it's been 10 years now that my anxiety and panic disorder has been controlled, hallelujah!! 2016 was an Election Year, Trump vs. Ms. Rodham-Clinton. Which means that 2016 was the year I dusted off my crochet skills and made a "pussy hat" to wear while leading chants at my city's Women's March. I was also at the "Not My President" rally the night after the election results were announced. 2016 was the year of the Standing Rock resistance camp. I really started showing up at my local satellite protests in late summer 2016, and that started my career as a community organizer in my city. Hence, knowing how to lead chants at a march by November. 2016 was also my first weekend music festival! Ironically, I just found the souvenir t-shirt, and the date on it left me pretty gobsmacked. As for it being my first, it was my first weekend festival, I spent my teens and 20's going to day festivals like Ozzfest (speaking of, I last did that one in 2006), and Warped Tour. 2016 is then also the year I really discovered tent camping. 2016 is when I qualified for my first Medical Marijuana card. Like Water Protecting, it's something I associate more with 2017, but I believe I did start making those long-haul dispensary runs in autumn 2016. Which means I'm nearing a whole decade of almost daily cannabis use. Oh, and my experience has been absolutely positive, ask me about it sometime. Damn. I didn't realize that year was so personally significant until I look back now in retrospect. Turns out, so was 2006 (believe it or not, that year I became a Reiki Master and attended Ozzfest. That year was my first anime convention, too. And it was definitely the year I chose my college majors...). 2026 seems to be shaping up to be just as eventful. It's those years that end in six, man...

I’m not saying I had any grand plans for the day, here. PT yesterday wore me out a bit more than expected, so I passed on the shower for an early bedtime and planned to shower today. At 11am, after I drank my giant breakfast smoothie and took my meds, my body wanted a nap. A six hour nap. Again, I’m not about to force myself out of bed for an unnecessary shower if I need the sleep. We’ll try again tomorrow. And if you’re wondering if that nap will keep me up all night… by how I feel right now, I’ll probably get a full night’s sleep on top of it. Healing takes a LOT of sleep.

It doesn't help that I still can't keep anything down on my effervescent digestive system (I just took a third dose of activated charcoal, and I'm still gassy! And yes, I am aware that activated charcoal cancels out my other meds, this is that serious). Or that I haven't slept in 32 hours because of that. Or that my day started right out with bad news. Or that the drop of sedentary mid-winter healing hit this weekend, after a holiday season packed full of pre-op planning. Or that the ambient mood in the world is way off, for obvious reasons. I've basically been crying all day. Not super fun. But for some reason, today feels more like an ending than anything. Like there's nothing else to look forward to now, which is of course ridiculous. But, it's also kinda where I am, too. Right now, I heal a leg. That'll take me through March, and then... fuck me if I know. My future is very up in the air right now, like it has been for the past 3 years. I'm not used to it. Trust me.

My digestive system has always been pretty fragile, comes with the neurodivergency and all. The short leg and pelvic tilt that the hip replacement fixed didn't help that any, nor does my spinal cord injury or the abdominal fascia trigger points from my huge tits that choke off my intestines... This is what I'm pretty sure happened yesterday: I'm eating bigger portions than I usually do right now, to get my body the calories it needs to heal. But, I'm following the hospital's constipation prevention methods... and I usually take three times as much Senokot as they had me taking up until yesterday. So, my large intestine was full to capacity. Not blocked or impacted, just not moving. That meant that stuff was hanging around in my small intestine waiting for it's turn to digest. And I added something to that chemical mix that filled my intestines up with gas like an overworked clown making balloon animals. I think it's the chili, but who knows, could be any of the medications I'm on. That meant I had to deal with the distended, too painful to touch belly by first clearing out my large intestine (which took all day yesterday), and then by neutralizing the gas and moving it out of the small and into the large to pass. That took literally all night. I didn't sleep a wink. I also haven't consumed more than water and Miralax in the past 32 hours, so everyone's convinced I'm going to pass out and screw up my hip. The kicker? I waited nine months to get in to see a Gastroenterologist, after dealing with severe constipation all last year. But once I got in the office, they sent me to a Nurse Practitioner who didn't listen to me, never got me a follow-up appointment, prescribed a medication that made me very ill, and then proceeded to drop me when I requested another medication that needed a prior authorization. The prior authorization was submitted in October, they never even followed up the request. And she knew full well I'd be getting my hip replaced and would need special post-op constipation precautions, I wrote her the minute I got my surgery date. So, I fully didn't have to suffer like this if some Nurse Practitioner had decided I was worth some actual care and passed me on to a doctor a few months back. Ain't American healthcare great?

My "Wegovy Bowels" aren't exactly helping here, either, but my mom was so hungry for chili last night, and saved out a bowl for me before any tomatoes or dairy went in... I haven't had gas blockages in my intestines this bad in a WHILE. This has honestly been the worst pain of post-op so far, and this has definitely been a very painful post-op. In other news, how the heck am I supposed to wear a sleep bonnet to bed if it's soaked through with sweat within an hour of bedtime?? Update, 4PM: I'm four teaspoons of baking soda down, and just starting to neutralize all this acid in my guts. I don't think I can eat beef anymore...

You know how I said my body is like "give me all the calories, and I want it 100% in sugar carbs!" which is to be expected, because it takes a lot of energy to heal big bone and muscle, and also I have to be off the sugar craving meds right now. This drink is helping to take the edge off the cravings. Mostly because it's packed with what my body is actually craving, so it doesn't want to spiral into comfort eating. Incoming: a new Menu on my recipe blog on how to meal plan for recovering big body trauma stuff, in the next few weeks, at least. I have recommendations now! In other post-op news, I've just taken the last of the most temporary post-op prescriptions, so now I'm looking out at more long term recovery goals from here. I still have a couple of weeks on the Oxy and Robaxin to help with healing the sutures, and after that it's back to my normal pain med routine. Meanwhile, a blizzard just kicked in that's supposed to hang around all weekend, and this mix of gloom and meds and weed and communal tension has me up in grief-nostalgia feels about everything, so I'm gonna mope in bed a lot today.

The number one anterior hip surgery restriction is no bridging your hips. Puts WAY too much pressure on the sutured muscles. Yeah, I did it on accident getting back into bed last night. Trust me, you will not do it for long, or extend it at all. But I didn't make my post-op bruising any better, Oof. All my thigh muscles are more sore than needed right now. Today'll be spent with ice packs. In other news, I'm starting to wonder if these purging sweats are actually emerging night sweats. It has been three weeks off the Pill... Yeah, my sleep wasn't great last night.