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Did I mention Canva is one of my favorite hyperfixations? And that I got a one month free trial of Zazzle's premium membership, so I have free shipping for the next month? Yeah. I've been having fun. Introducing, the resurrection of my small design business: To begin! I'm starting at three digital products, with three different price points and multiple levels of customization. Product Number One: The "Hello, My Name Is" Name & Pronouns badge: Starting at $5, customize-able up to $15. Perfect for anyone re-introducing themselves, or who work closely with the 2SLGBTQIA+ community. Order Form Here. Product Number Two: The Fully Customized Name & Pronouns Badge: Starting at $15, and customize-able up to $45. Perfect for small business owners, especially those who vend at street fairs and flea markets - instead of endless business cards, include a QR landing page with your business and payment information that folks can favorite from their mobile web browser on the spot! Also perfect for fellow community organizers, no need to use disposable nametags for every networking event. Order Form Here. Product Number Three: Medical Information & Neurodivergent Self-Advocacy Badges: These are the cards I made myself for chronic pain and hyperverbalism, but I can also work with my customers on designing communication cards for non-verbal neurodivergence, as well. I'm also open to collaborating with you on any communication card design that you think will be useful to you or a loved one. My only real design constraint is that I can't use Braille. If you'd like to see how I'm using these cards for my own safety and advocacy, see this blog post. Because these aren't quite as cut-and-dry to design, I'll be requiring a non-refundable down payment of $30 to cover the first design, and then bill at the end of the project at a rate of $10 per hour put into the project after the first design. Each design typically takes 1-3 hours to complete. Please use my contact page to make your project request! Again, this is for DIGITAL PRODUCT ONLY, delivered by email in PNG image format. You can then take it to any printer you'd like to support and put it on whatever medium you'd like. Another thing you can use that contact page for is to discuss full or partial barter for my design services, especially if you live in the West Michigan area! I'm particularly looking for: Gently used or new clothing, particularly in natural fabrics: sized XL/0X / 2X Chinese, 34" inseam, shoe size women's 9 US / 40 EU / 25.5 JP. Tailoring and cobbler services. Handmade clothing, jewelry, and accessories. Antique cast iron cookware. Mani/Pedi services. Home grown or foraged food (unfortunately, no dairy, eggs, soy, nuts of any kind, or tomatoes/tomatillo). Friskies canned or dry cat food, or Temptations cat treats. A few hours of help around the house/yard, or a few hours borrowing your Bobcat. And finally, keep an eye on my blog for product announcements! I'm already working on hospital room info signs for extended stays, as well as flyers for mutual aid fundraising campaigns. And I have lots of experience with designing event flyers for local art performances and vendor markets. Support Human Creativity and Communication! And support yr Auntie's income as she's Going Through It and could use the happy distraction as well as the financial help.

When I tell people to prepare for the inevitable negative thing on the horizon, I usually get a lot of ostriches promptly and firmly planting their heads in the sand. It is IMPOSSIBLE for them to prepare for a negative thing. It is TOO MUCH. This video came up on my feed immediately after a tarot reader with a message about living wills the other day. It's been a little over two weeks now since I was discharged from the ER with heavily bleeding uterine fibroids and a very strong matrilineal history of this being cancer, yes, this young, I even held out 10 years longer than my mother and grandmother. Why was I discharged? Excellent nutritional health, and a neurodivergent pain reaction. I started bleeding again today. Perfect day to chill out and solidify the designs I made for info cards, as suggested by pretty much everyone in the video comments above. Step One: Collect Underpants. I kid in Millennial. Step one is to acquire a Hidden Disabilities Sunflower Lanyard. Step two: Head on over to Canva.com, and use my free account to design personalized information cards. They look like this: Font is Inclusive Sans, 3.37 X 2.13" was the perfect size for the 5 X 3" card size, though I did have to retool the designs a bit from my original concepts, around the hole punch at the top of the badge. I also went ahead and designed myself a new name & pronouns badge, while I was at it: The QR code goes to the contact page on this website, if you were curious, but not so curious as to scan it. The Pride flags are, l-r: asexuality, aromanticism, disability, autism, and ADHD. Let 'em know who they're dealing with right off the bat. Step 3: I took the whole shebang over to Zazzle.com, and used a new customer discount and free trial of their premium membership to print it all on two 5 X 3" blank employee ID badges, and one 3 X 1.5" employee name badge blank. Total cost, for the lanyard, two ID badges, and one name badge? $30 even. Things I already had, that are now hanging from the lanyard - a small RFID blocker wallet with my critical ID cards and migraine rescue meds, a pair of earplugs, a lip balm holder, and a Little Ouchies mini grippie stim toy. I also have one of those watertight phone sleeves that you wear on a lanyard, that will likely be added to the mix... though I got the version with the breakaway clasp on the back of the neck, as a grown woman with a dangly thing problem it might get Gorilla Glued shut 😅😅 So now, no matter what state I'm brought into the hospital in, all of my most critical information and self-advocacy is hanging around my neck, professionally printed on a durable surface, and suspended from an internationally recognized symbol for neurodivergency and hidden disabilities. Will it help? I don't know. But it certainly won't hurt. Are you a neurodivergent chronic illness patient who understands why the sharing of pronouns is important, too? Does this kind of a set-up sound amazing for you or someone you love, but designing it is not your thing, even if you just crib the language I used (which I am happy for anyone to do, for personal use)? May I direct you to that aforementioned Contact page, where you can send me a message and we can discuss my putting together a PNG file with your customized information for a very reasonable price, that you can then take to Zazzle or anywhere to print, no restrictions. What price? Let's talk! Why would you want to hire me to do this design work for you? I mean, I am kinda pioneering the whole concept here. And I am obviously a thoughtful designer and communicator, as evidenced by my personal work above. And I have a LOT of rest and recovery time ahead of me, this is something I can do from my Chromebook and the hospital wifi. I did the above from my own bed, after all. Like I do everything, including writing this blog 😅😅 Canva has also been one of my favorite hyperfixations since I was introduced to it by my Water Protector partner back in 2016. I have genuinely enjoyed putting together the designs above, and get completely lost in perfecting them, to the point of complete time blindness. Now, what would I rather do right now, hyperfixate on a design that will improve someone's life, or worry about what may or may not be happening in my uterus right now? I'll take The Fun Option for $500, Alex. And I get that any AI program could design this for you with the paid account you already have, but if you are pro-human creativity and ingenuity, I would hope you would rather support a flesh-and-blood person with a neurodivergent brain, who could use some serious financial help at this point in their life. Stay tuned for the finished product, whenever Zazzle mails it to me!

CW: cancer, medical trauma. Remember when my digestive system went full Pepsi & Mentos just after I had my hip replaced in January? And at the time I was blaming it on the meds, the food, even my sister bringing the Norovirus home from her grocery stock job. Absolutely TMI, but I've started throwing up whenever I empty my bowels. Yesterday was the third time this happened, but instead of feeling better after getting rid of everything, I was severely nauseous and gassy until I got 12 capsules of activated charcoal on my stomach. Since it subsided, the heavy ache in my lower gut has gotten heavier. I also pulled out the scale yesterday, simply because I knew I was running on absolute empty, so I could get a true weight. I weighed 206lbs at the ER on the 4th, and 203lbs when I saw my PCP one week later, which I wrote off to having one of those gastric emptying instances right before the appointment, and the pukes happened during the appointment in her exam room. Today? 190lbs even. That now makes more than 80lbs of weight loss from my heaviest, and puts me just 15lbs away from a "healthy" BMI range. But I have never lost so much in one week. I had a good week if I lost 8lbs, but 5lbs was more realistic this whole time. I don't think dropping an entire BMI category in two weeks is healthy, even if that's the category it brings my weight to. It took me most of a year to go from obese level 2 to just into the overweight category, I plateau for five months, and then suddenly I cleared half the overweight category in six days? That's not healthy. And if I must go through cancer treatment, I'd rather do it with some extra meat on my bones still. So, I Googled uterine cancer symptoms. The bloating and rapid weight loss seem to indicate that if it's cancer, it's in the later stages already. And I have that family history. My mom was precancerous at 34 years old, my grandma was at stage one by 34 years old, and my great-grandmother died from uterine cancer in the 60's, when she was about my age. I still have two weeks before I can see a doctor who can do anything about it. My PCP can only prescribe medication to treat my symptoms as they come up between now and when I see my new gynecologist. At least they have what they need to make the call on treatment, thanks to my ER visit, but who knows how long it'll take to get me on a surgeon's table after that? It's usually a six to eight week wait. "Emergency" spine surgery a few years back was a three week wait. And if they don't bother with a biopsy until then... Isn't cancer one of those things that you have to act fast on or it can kill you super fast? I'm not particularly scared of what's happening. I think I've proven I can survive anything at this point. I'm just mad AF that the system is letting me suffer because they refuse to hire enough doctors to cover the patient load. I'm also mad AF that just about every other country (except maybe Canada and England) would be taking this seriously, and not making me wait an entire month with Schrödinger's uterus potentially trying to kill me before seeing someone who can do something about what's happening, as I'm steadily worsening. And that kind of mental stress on top of physical stress is brutal. Isn't it great that modern medicine can cure all of these diseases, you know, if they'll take you seriously enough to catch your symptoms early? It also pisses me off that had I not been supplementing with electrolytes and iron the day I went to the ER, because I knew that I was bleeding way too much, I would have had very different labs and probably would have qualified for emergency surgery. So, now I'm being punished for being too health conscious, when I was literally just trying to stay alive. At least I know I'm doing this at the pinnacle of physical health. Sheesh.

So, we're getting whimsical this summer, huh? I found my gnome doppelganger. 26 years ago exactly (starting something on a decade, century, and millennium-starting year sure makes it easy to remember), I was preparing myself for my first summer as a tarot card reader at a renaissance festival. I didn't choose the whimsical life, the whimsical life chose me. As a former Manic Pixie Dream Girl, I am happy to share my tips for a whimsy-filled summer to distract from The Horrors. And since The Horrors are expensive, many of these tips are free, or very inexpensive. I'm going to start out by saying that whimsy is cringe. Whimsy is the most cringe thing ever. If not being cringe is important to you, you're going to have to reconcile that with your need for whimsy. Okay. The Look: most people seem to be interpreting "whimsy" as the 90's quirky look - I'm seeing a lot of pictures of Lisa Kudrow as Phoebe Buffay in Friends. I would say, focus on your own interpretation of whimsical style using the following elements: Bright colors and color blocking. Patterns and pattern mixing. Accessories of all kinds. protip: go to local artists markets to find unique pieces, skip the mass-produced stuff. another protip: if you do want mass-market, chances are the Chinese manufacturer is selling it at wholesale price on Amazon, you just need to know how to search and what you're looking for. Customized or repurposed pieces. Considering it's summer, and I live in a place where the lakes and the corn both sweat, I also recommend prioritizing breathable fabrics - cotton, silk, rayon, viscose, tech fabrics, the like. Three items that are absolute essentials in my summer wardrobe are "magic skirts," viscose caftans, and what folks are calling "bubble pants" nowadays. I generally top the skirts and pants with either a t-shirt or a tank top, and accessorize from there with jewelry, belts, glasses, and hats or headwraps. Where else to acquire these clothes? That segways right into whimsical summer activities... Now, before I get into this, a lot of this assumes you have a few whimsical friends. Not that you can't do any and all of these things solo, but this is all a lot more fun as friend activities! Whimsical things to do: Thrift hopping, antiquing, artists markets, farmers markets, and flea markets! That answers the clothing and accessories acquisition question. In my area, there's a whole bunch of antique malls lining the SE shore of Lake Michigan, and hopping from antique mall to treasure hunt, to county beach to rock hunt, is a treasured summer pastime. On a smaller scale, an afternoon of checking out what 3-5 thrift shops in your area have to offer will help build your whimsical wardrobe. Host a swap event! You can swap clothes, jewelry, unused craft supplies, perfumes, games and puzzles, whatever you and your friends all enjoy and could use a switch-up of your collection. Tailgate! No reason to tailgate? Make one! Your nephew's t-ball game! Before going in to see a movie! On the side of the road to watch the fireworks display! Get a little propane grill and a cooler, and turn pre-anything into a parking lot party. Because hot dogs make everything better. Find a free concert! About the time the summer solstice rolls around, I can attend a free concert from a local band hosted by the town council or the city's tourism committee every single day of the week if I want to. And that's not counting all the local bars and restaurants hosting concerts free or for a low cover, nor the actual concert venues in the area. Go support your local music scene! See what your library card can do! Many let you access passes to local attractions like zoos and museums. Also see if any of those local attractions have sponsored free days, and see if there's any discounts or passes for students, or through the Blue Star Museums Program, if those apply to you and your family. Speaking of museums, if you're childfree, see if your local Children's Museum has an adult's only night, or see if you can tag along on a visit with a kid in your life. Children's Museums know how to draw out your whimsy like no other place. Same goes for your local Art Museum's family studio. Go camping! It's hard to get more whimsical than getting back to nature for a few days. Set aside a few hours each month for a creativity circle. Everyone brings whatever creative project they're working on, whatever that is, and there's 2-3 hours for productive co-work, and another hour or two for socializing. Add a weekly hike to your daily walk routine. Bring a digital camera, and record the interesting things you find on the trails. Start a nature photography blog. Check out the iNaturalist app, especially if you enjoy knowing exactly what you're looking at, and gamifying things. Pick a random SFW picture that people will recognize and understand - I first saw this done with pictures of Nicholas Cage - and tape the image up around town in random public places, e.g. bus stop shelters, bathroom stalls, grocery store doors, light posts, you get the idea. Just to make people wonder why there's this picture of [thing] taped up there. Go to a Renaissance Festival! Dress up to do so, you can literally wear anything to a Renaissance Faire, they don't require any kind of historical or cosplay accuracy, just individuality and public decency. If the big state festival sounds way too intimidating, there are many smaller festivals around. Check out local universities, and comic and gaming shops to find them. Start a Dungeons & Dragons campaign. Or whatever TTRPG game you'd like to play. Make a point to do a "casual cosplay" of your character to each session. Pick a night where everyone wears the formal wear left over from that prom, or that bridesmaid gig, or that they found at the thrift store or clothing swap. Go out for dinner (bonus points if it's a casual restaurant), then rent those motorized scooters for an hour or two and zoom around the city, finding good backdrops for pictures and spots for shenanigans. Create a Jar Ecosystem. Scatter an envelope of native wildflower seeds on a forgotten patch of dirt in your neighborhood, and make a point to water it regularly, so they bloom for the pollinators and humans to enjoy. Start a Little Free Library. Or a Little Free Pantry. Or both. Attend a Studio Ghibli Fest screening or three. Preferably with a kid in your life who's never experienced a Ghibli movie before, catch their childlike wonder while you're at it. Attend a drag bingo game or drag brunch. Fun fact: queer performers perform all year, not just in June! Go support them! Attend a county or state fair. I like going for rodeo night. Set a whimsical goal to hit before Labor Day. To try every single soft-serve flavor your local ice cream parlor serves, to record 20 different kinds of insects on iNaturalist, to volunteer X number of hours to walking dogs for your local animal rescue, to learn to play three songs by heart on the ukulele you found at the thrift store, etc... Host a themed party! Want some ideas? Here's some ideas! A Fairy Tea: have everyone attending dress as fairies, bring a teatime snack, and you provide a few fun flavors of iced tea. A Cemetery Picnic: This is actually customary in many cultures, and yes, you do have to do it respectfully - don't make a lot of noise, stay off the headstones, leave no trace of the picnic when you're done - but if you and your friends are on the goth side, what better place to hold a Death Cafe session? Bring Your Own Pool Party: you do need a water source for this one to fill the pools, so check to make sure your public park has one if you decide to do this there - requirements for the party is to bring a dish to pass, and your own wading pool. A sprinkler/chair combo is also acceptable. As the host, you'll want to provide a grill and fuel. Christmas In July: wear Christmas novelty items like Santa hats, play Christmas music/movies, decorate the BBQ area with Christmas lights, serve peppermint ice cream and iced hot chocolate and speculoos cookies, light up the artificial tree and have a White Elephant gift exchange. Heathers' Croquet: acquire a croquet set, wear your best 80's prep look, and play croquet while calling each other "Heather" and using as much 80's slang as possible. Have everyone bring a teatime snack to munch on between turns. While this is plenty of fun in your backyard, it's especially fun at a public park. Backyardapalooza: can't make it to your favorite music festival this year? Host a Livestream party! Farmers Market to Table Dinner Party: all the party participants go to the Farmers Market together, and each person comes up with a dish to make using ingredients they find and purchase at the Farmers Market. Then, back to the host's kitchen/backyard grill for everyone to prepare their dish to serve for dinner that night.

Apparently, the influencers are currently stocking their Amazon Storefronts with "Summer Essentials" that are really only essentials if you're into overconsumption... I mean, I live in Michigan, and I'm still only working with five bathing suits, and I feel very weird saying "only five." I don't have an Amazon Storefront, and most of my essentials aren't really consumables, anyway, but I'm still going to drop some non-sponsored links to products I do use. One: Japanese Sunscreen. This is the only sunscreen I've found that doesn't make my eyes burn if it gets in my eyes, which it inevitably does. Two: a waterproof bug repellent. I workshopped this recipe last year and sent a few outdoors-y people in my life off with Altoids tins full to test. One said that when she put it on her hairline, it was like there was a bubble around her head that the bugs couldn't penetrate. 1/4 cup beeswax 1/2 cup beef tallow or olive oil 12 drops rosemary essential oil 12 drops cedarwood essential oil 15 drops geranium essential oil 15 drops peppermint essential oil 6 drops clove essential oil In a glass mixing bowl over a sauce pot filled with water on the boil, melt the beeswax and beef tallow together. Carefully remove the glass bowl from the heat using oven mitts, and allow to cool for around five minutes, before whisking the essential oils into the still-liquid salve. Pour the salve into your storage container, and allow to fully harden before using. To use: apply a small amount of salve around the full hairline, around the sock line, around the cuff line, and to create a barrier anywhere where insects may be attracted to exposed skin. Three: A hair care routine. One tailored specifically for your hair type and lifestyle, focusing on protection from UV and wind damage, and moisture retention. I've gone into great detail about mine already, and have a few more points coming up in this list, too, so, moving forward! Four: FL-41/60 tinted sunglasses. Yeah, even if you don't have to shield your migraine brain from the Big Light. I find they're the truest to shade and color of all the sunglass tints I've tried. Yes, even truer than grey tint. I think this makes them absolutely worth it, regardless of your light sensitivity. Here's me in mine, from Zenni Optical: Five: UPF 50 protective clothing. I currently own three hoodies, three pairs of ankle-length compression leggings, and one "straw" western hat. I also have a fabric swim cap for my hair, so it's not exposed to the sun and wind for hours while I'm in the water. Yes, I could swim at a public beach in a Muslim country, and I am not ashamed of that. It's going to be very interesting to see the reactions I get at the beach in my very Christian Reformed coastal area, where tankinis are the norm. Why? Sunburns cause physical stress. My migraines are stress-induced. My uterine fibroids are causing my body enough stress already. And UPF clothing is cheaper and easier than re-applying sunscreen every 80 minutes. Six: A flag code violation of a bathing suit. Mine came from SheIn back when I was still ordering from them, in the 2023 range. It happens to still fit. I may dress extra conservative in the harsh sunlight, but once Apollo puts his chariot away for the night, I can strip off the layers. And if America is careening into its 250th birthday in the state it's currently in, I can wear me a flag code violation to celebrate. Seven: An easy-breezy summer wardrobe. I'm already getting wear out of my "magic skirts." And I am of the opinion that every woman over the age of 40 needs a Mrs. Roper Caftan for summer lounging. Eight: A tried-and-true summer potluck recipe. If you have a ton of food allergies and have to bring something you can eat because you can't trust anything else that'll be on the table, it'll have to be a hearty side. May I suggest a Three Bean Salad, a Vidalia Onion Pie, a Protein Pasta Salad, or a Sorghum & Sweet Potato Salad? You'll also want a good Snackle Box plan... the gas price situation may make road trips out of reach this summer, but I live in an area where opportunities for watersports are free and plentiful, and Snackle Boxes are a natural summer accessory in a state known for beer, weed, and water recreation. And don't forget the iced tea! Nine: A good summer music playlist, and a waterproof Bluetooth speaker. Your choice of speaker is personal, and should consider use on the beach, on a pontoon boat, on a kayak, on a river float, at the poolside, in the corner of a parking lot before and after a concert or movie, on a tanning deck, at a campsite, etc. Ten: Summer Adventuring Buddies. At least one, but it's always fun to travel with a chaos pack.

I celebrated turning 44 by spending six hours alone in the ER, getting diagnosed with two uterine fibroids! Weekday birthdays, am I right? My grandma: "only two? I had five when I had my hysterectomy." One's posterior and a little under 3 centimeters, so about the size of a grape, and the other is anterior and a little under 4 centimeters, so about the size of a bon bon. I also have a simple cyst in my left ovary, also grape-sized. Leave it to me to turn my unused uterus into a charcuterie board. As my grandma pointed out, this is just continuing the good ol' family tradition of demonically rotten wombs. My great-grandmother died from uterine cancer, my grandma obviously had a bunch of fibroids and a hysterectomy at 34, my mother had precancerous polyps and a hysterectomy also at 34. I bought myself 10 whole years thanks to taking birth control to stop my periods. Which is probably why they're so dang big. I know they could be a lot worse, but I also know they start real tiny, and these are not tiny. The good news is, my body is healthy enough that I can handle the excess bleeding. I felt FUNKY when I went to the hospital, but my levels were all within healthy ranges when they ran the blood work, just the slightest anemia. Which I probably could have guessed just by my hair growth in May... the fibroid bleeding started on 4/20. I remember remarking that I'd have to wait until I was done with that "period" to know how my clothing swap gains really fit, especially the pants. I guess I won't actually know until the organ gets yoinked, if I have some decently large growths on it. Anyway! I bled from 4/20-4/26, had a 12 day break, bled from 5/8-5/13, and then spotted from 5/26 (when I finally contacted my PCP and got referred to a new gyno), to very early in the morning on 6/4, when I started bleeding heavier than I ever have before in my life. And I had said that about each of those first two periods. Meanwhile, I'm recording record hair growth, I had to have sprouted 2 1/2 inches last month. Obviously, my iron levels are just fine if I can grow my hair like that. Thanks, Vitron C! That means that, unless it gets worse between now and then, I can wait for a standard hysterectomy, not have to be admitted for an emergency yoink. Healthier for me, less squabble with insurance, does ruin my summer plans. In the interest of full disclosure, here's the gory details - this is thin, bright red blood. Almost no clots. I started my periods at exactly 11 1/2, and I've been passing huge clots since the very first until I stopped my periods with The Pill 10 years ago. And the "blood" was always very thick, kind of gelled. These "periods" are nothing like what used to be my normal. And the pain is pretty bad. I used to be a back cramper, this is all front. The pain levels seem to go up when the bleeding does, and they go UP, I've been consistently hitting pain level 8... which is generally likened to unmedicated childbirth. I've doubled up my Meloxicam to 15mg like I did in the weeks before my hip surgery when I was walking around with it bone-on-bone, which much like it did before hip surgery takes the edge off but doesn't kill the pain completely. Also like before hip surgery, I'm keeping up on the arthritis strength Tylenol, which combined with the Meloxicam takes everything down to a fairly reasonable 4-5. It's still pretty exhausting to be constantly bleeding, and my body knows I'm in pain under the meds, so I'm taking a lot of naps. As for other symptoms; I have had some nasty night sweats, I had a 2am projectile vomit session the other night, and I've had some of the wildest acne I've ever had, including a large sebaceous cyst in my cheek, and a pistule filled like a piñata on my forehead. And, of course, my migraines have joined in the fun, being stress triggered and all. Things that aren't medications that help? Hot baths with Epsom salts and Dettol. The Dettol helps with the ick of constantly bleeding and sweating. Drinking tons of water, with my daily electrolyte supplement. Doubling my iron and vitamin C supplements on bleed days - on top of what's in the the Vitron C, I'm also taking a 1,000mg Buffered Vitamin C supplement as vitamin C also helps my body absorb the collagen peptides supplement I put in my coffee each morning. I learned when I was a teenager in the 90's that menstrual fluid leeches vitamin c, part of why it depletes your iron so easily for not being a lot of fluid loss. It's second nature to me to double up the vitamin c when I start a cycle. (None of those links are sponsored in any way.) Unless things get worse between now and then, I don't see my new gyno until July 1 (though I should probably put myself on the wait list...). It may not have been the happiest birthday, but New Doc has all the blood work and imaging they need to proceed with what I assume will be ordering a hysterectomy, no phutzing with outpatient appointments for each test, un-prioritized results, and finding a follow-up appointment for the actual scheduling. Things should probably go fast from there, fingers crossed. But that still means I'll be healed up and ready to go just in time for summer to be over 😅😅 I didn't think I'd be resurrecting the "Pre-Op" and "Post-Op" categories so soon, but here we are.

And as of the end of May 2026, 8 months nearly to the day from the Big Chop, I'm officially back to the length I was able to achieve and maintain during Natural Hair Movement v.1 in the 2010's. It's not a surprise why it's the length I could maintain, particularly when I mostly wore my hair down in wash-and-go's... this is about the point where ends meet clothing fabric, and I lose all retention thanks to friction. My ends are far thicker and more even this time around. I haven't even had to pull out the shears in a couple of months to catch the pieces growing faster than others. To compare to April's results: Hugely noticeable growth this month!! I'm also just to the length where I can wear my hair in a bun... not the ends tucked "messy bun" topknot, but an actual twist around the elastic to make a complete circle kind of bun. It's teeny-tiny, but my hair is really fine, it's always going to be teeny-tiny, no matter how many times I'll be able to loop it around 🤣🤣 As for routine, my little last-minute experiment turned out to be just what my scalp needed for the more humid months (I mean, obviously, look at that length gain up there!) - I did modify the ingredients a little when I filled the bottle, so my official hair serum recipe is: 1 6 oz bottle with an applicator tip (and preferably measurement markings on the bottle, but not necessary) 1 oz papaya seed oil 1 oz hyalauronic acid serum 4 oz vegetable glycerine The rest of this is not essential (heh) to the recipe, and entirely up to you. Why am I using essential oils? First of all, because I have them. I've always enjoyed using them, so I have them. Here's a little Auntie Lore for you - my mother's friend from the local homeschool co-op was one of the very first Young Living Essential Oils consultants, she studied the Raindrop Technique with "Dr." Young himself. Which means I was using essential oils for all kinds of things as a teenager, and this was after a pre-teen hyperfixation on herbal medicine. I don't use MLM oils anymore, of course. Secondly, convenience. I could infuse the papaya oil with fresh or dry herb, yes, but the point of this was the ease of preparation, and not having to set up a bain mare. I'll tell you why I chose to use the oils I did. You may choose different oils, or choose to leave them out entirely, and that's fine. Of course, research around things like natural health and essential oils is weird, so all physical benefit "claims" are alleged. And all the spiritual claims take personal belief, so do what you will with those. 40 drops lavender EO A natural anti-microbial and anti-inflammatory, as well as energy clearing and refining frequency, synced to the crown chakra. 40 drops rosemary EO Legendary herb for hair growth and scalp health. 25 drops frankincense EO Also naturally anti-microbial and anti-inflammatory. Incredibly high, purifying energy, which is why it's traditionally been used as incense in religious ceremonies across multiple belief systems and for millennia. 12 drops peppermint EO Incredibly stimulating oil. If nothing else will wake your scalp up, this will. 12 drops cedarwood EO Another anti-microbial, anti-inflammatory, and has an energy very similar to frankincense - as a matter of fact, Cedar is used in Indigenous American religions similar to how frankincense is used in religions on the Silk Road. As for where I source my essential oils, I prefer the NOW Brand, same as I prefer for my nutritional supplements. Which happens to be a great segway into my next hair health update - as of my writing this (May 27, actually), I've started adding Selenium supplementation to my daily routine. Considering large amounts of fat loss depletes Selenium, and the number one food source is Brazil Nuts... I thought I should probably add more to my diet than the 100mcg I get from my daily flax seeds (which is daily value, but on the low end according to my internet research). I'm starting with 200mcg supplemented for the first two or three weeks, see how it goes, and then back down to 100mcg tablet along with my usual flax seed consumption for maintenance. Apparently, this should further improve my rate of hair and nail growth, so let's see... To recap, here's the current routine: Internal: Hydration: I average around 110oz per day of flat water, not including any additional sugary, caffeinated, or carbonated drinks I may have. Nutrition: going strong on avoiding the food allergens, for the most part (I did go out for ice cream on Memorial Day, and had pizza for dinner last night...). And I'm keeping up on my prescription medications, to reduce any further stress on my body, especially as the cottonwood just started flying, yuck. Daily Supplementation: electrolytes, bovine collagen, Omega 3-6-9 oils, iron, vitamin C, and now Selenium. External: Scalp scrub with Kojic acid soap. Scalp serum (recipe above), applied with a scalp massage. Leave-in creme conditioner on wet hair. Chebe butter followed by a steam treatment. Protective: Nightly wear of silk sleep bonnets. Covering loosely braided hair with hats or headwraps when outside/in public, using silk wig caps or durags to protect the hair from the fabric of the hat/headwrap. Wearing hair up in a high ponytail around the house, to keep it off my clothes. Speaking of headwraps, I didn't leave the house a lot in May, so not a ton of reasons to practice 😅😅 But I have found my go-to chiffon style! I used a standard chiffon hijab from Modest Behavior (denim blue, if you were wondering), a mulberry silk wig cap in champagne, and this tutorial: Alright, bring on June... I'm officially growing my hair longer than I've ever been able to before, let's gooooooo.

This is one of those points that I very clearly remember my mother reaching about 15-20 years ago. She flew to San Francisco, and splurged on a full Bare Minerals kit before finally declaring herself makeup-free, mostly because she had too hard of a time finding brands that didn't irritate her eyes and skin, but it was also too hard to find makeup that sat well on maturing skin. I'm learning now that it's not just "fine lines" she was talking about - perimenopausal hormone changes give your skin a whole different texture. You can not have new wrinkles, but still have a whole new skin situation to deal with, especially when it comes to how primers and foundations work. I should probably frame this with a little backstory - I spent the first 14 or so years of my life a practicing Seventh-Day Adventist, I went into the makeup experimentation years being told it was sinful and not to use it, so I didn't exactly develop any skills or a routine when it came to makeup. Skincare? I've always been fastidious. Makeup was for special occasions. Even after I stopped practicing Adventism and could wear makeup, I still stayed away from it. I left religion about the time Riot Grrl was gearing up, and while I was too young to participate at the time (and too Midwestern, for that matter, where was a 14 year old kid in rural Michigan in the early 90's going to get radical zines and bootleg music recordings? Do keep in mind I was the oldest daughter and granddaughter, and when I did get adopted as a little sister by a "cool big sister," she was a "Lilith Fair" indie girl), I was fully rebelling against the performance of femininity, and what's the most performative performance of femininity we have in our culture? I certainly wasn't going to sacrifice my precious teenage sleep for it, when I was expected to be at a desk thinking clearly FAR too early for my ADHD brain that was up all night contemplating the nature of the universe, while my logical side screamed hours left before the alarm goes off at the ADHD part. I have never seen the Showtime channel's series Billions, but being part of the queer community, I've seen plenty of pictures and clips of the character Taylor Mason, played by Asia Kate Dillon. Anyone who knew me in high school and didn't keep up with me in the slightest probably thinks I look like Taylor Mason nowadays. But when I got a 2010 situationship with an art museum fresh out of college, I needed to visually blend into the staff and setting, and I had to do it fast and cheap. Between the earliest years of Pinterest not being just style inspo, but a whole personal styling master class, and working in an environment that encouraged professional expression, lo and behold, I discovered the performance of femininity. Hard. And I also discovered that while makeup wasn't "required" or "needed," the right amount of makeup elevated a look in a way I couldn't not participate in. I even signed up to sell Younique to build a collection (that's an MLM makeup business) - I can explain. My presenter number had four digits, and began with a 3. A still close friend got me into it, I was building a professional makeup wardrobe on a post-recession recent graduate budget, and this was so ground floor that they were working with sample products that were actually really good... those disappeared and were replaced with pure shit the minute they built a presenter base, but I digress. I didn't get into the whole face contouring thing until 2020 - I literally never wore foundation before then, just a dust of tinted powder. One of my pandemic binges was Trixie Mattel's videos of her doing her full drag makeup with drugstore brands, and reviewing the brands as she was demonstrating her makeup techniques... that are so purposefully exaggerated that the whole contouring and face sculpting thing finally clicked for me. I've done my own photo shoot makeup a few times now, with varying results 😅😅 Being homebound for the past two years but in much more pain than I was in in 2020 has meant my makeup wear has gone back down to special occasions (which don't happen too much) and that's about it. I did a big clean out of my old makeup last year, kept a few things for those special occasions, gave what was still good to a drag queen friend, and dumped the rest. I purchased a handful of fresh products, mostly going back to my brows, mascara, blush, and a dusting of tinted powder roots of 16 years ago. ... and then I took these pictures, which you will also see in my May Hair Challenge update: ... and I immediately put lip pencils and lip oil on order 😅😅 I'm not wearing any makeup at all in these pictures. I didn't even bother covering the scar on my cheek, which you're still pretty hard-pressed to see (I'll have a post about that later). But the rules have already changed, thanks to the headwraps. I need a lip pop. It's potentially the only makeup I need at all. But dang, I've always had lilac-colored lips, but I don't remember them getting so pale 😅😅 It's not just that, I have a green primer to take the rosacea down if needed. And apparently no one wears eyeshadow or mascara anymore? Unless you're Zara Larsson or Zara Larsson inspired.

The first part of the blog post I wrote this morning was a lot of me thinking out loud about how to practically prepare for a drought potentially severe enough to cause water rations. Yes, like I'm sure most everyone else my original thought was how to stockpile water, but that's not practical at all... not only would you need the collection and storage equipment (I don't have the space for a water tower, I measured), but water goes stagnant. The question to ask is, "how do I adapt to a low water situation?" Actually, pretty simple for me - I have chronic pain and weakness/balance issues, I'm used to not fully showering for more than a week or two, just keeping up on the hygiene things that keep me from smelling like BO - having a "hello kitty," if you will. We know from the California droughts in the 2010's that water rationing basically starts with no bath tubs, no hot tubs, no pools, 2 minute showers, and going as long between showers as possible. If I'm going to stockpile for those conditions, it would be for the hygiene wipes I use to kill the bacteria that makes your kitty say "hello," if you know what I mean... So, to keep it not up to my ADHD, I put a subscription on my favorite hygiene wipes. I have two packages delivering every six weeks, which at the rate I generally use them should get me a nice little stockpile going by the end of the year. And then I sent the group text something like "nowhere in the Book of Revelations did it mention anything about stockpiling pussy wipes being an important part of the apocalypse." So, I'm sitting here writing this thinking to myself "should I really be announcing that I'm stockpiling hygiene wipes? I mean, what if they're scarce and someone tries looting my house?" Now I'm like "NOWHERE in the Book of Revelations did it mention anything about the possibility of having to shoot a looter in the head over a package of pussy wipes." I mean, I would absolutely rather be doing the absurdist apocalypse over the grimdark apocalypse, it suits my personality better. But holy shit, we are reaching levels of absurdity here. For the record, I can smell a good hyperfocus on the hygiene practices of cultures from arid climates coming on, in addition to a good wipe collection, and probably a lil' stockpile of HOCL and white vinegar, too... I'm also researching my options for building my camp mess setup. This is my 10 year anniversary of really taking up camping as a summer hobby, and I've always done the majority of my food prep in my home kitchen, and really just heated or re-heated what I've brought, to varying levels of success. Now, with all my allergies? You'd think I'd just do the same, but I'm looking at creating myself a travelling kitchen, complete with a pantry in miniature, all pre-packed and ready to go. Add a few fresh groceries to the cooler each time I go out, and I can cook myself all kinds of things while I'm camping or tailgaiting. Or at an Air B&B, you have to bring your own food to those, too, including the pantry ingredients. I used to budget $100 for a 3-day weekend's worth of food. This is going to make camping even more affordable... I had to have been the meal coordinator for a Silk Road Caravan, or ran the Mess Wagon for an American Wagon Train in a past life. I love this shit.

They're predicting a Super El Niño for fall/winter 2026-2027. Potentially the worst we've ever seen, which, considering where we're at in the process of climate change wouldn't surprise me. That means that my rural, farming area is facing a potential drought. Considering over-construction has drained the county water table (did I mention I live in a coastal county?), Nestle's been paying off the state government for water-drawing rights that are nowhere near sustainable up north of me, and they're building a data center to the SE of the metro area I'm in... this should be interesting. I'm typing this as there's a hard downpour happening, ironically. I think we're all about to learn that Water Is Life. It's not just a catchy protest slogan. The good news? We have all summer to get ready. Stockpiling water is impractical for the average citizen (understatement of the year), but summer is a great time to brush up on your non-shower personal hygiene techniques (it's the bonus section at the end). Take some time to get used to your low-water lifestyle so it doesn't hit like a pile of bricks when it happens. Buy a new pack of micellar wipes every couple grocery trips. Other places are looking at catastrophic flooding, because the water has to go somewhere. Which means potential evacuations are something folks living in these areas need to consider. Now is the time to make plans with your family, who's in the car with you and where you're going. Now's when to be sure you have all of your important documents on hand, in a waterproof container, and in a place that's easy to grab and pack. It's also the time to have your pets vetted, and have their important documents ready to go, along with their travel gear. As for preparing yourself for a bug-out (as someone who learned all of this as a pre-teen with severe anxiety, I hate how fucking loaded the word "bug-out" is in the prepper's lexicon, but that is what we're putting together here if we're bring honest. Congratulations, you'll also be prepared for zombies 😅😅), having a Dopp kit packed with your hygiene items, an "adventure bag" packed with your day-bag basics, a bag with a functional selection of clothes, and anything from a few shelf-stable just-add-hot-water meals to a full camp mess setup will have you ready for all kinds of outings, evacuations included. Why not get all of this ready while you're chill and have time, it's a lot less to worry about if you do get the call to pack up and go and you do have a very serious time crunch in which to do it in. Hopefully, that level of preparation gets you on the road well before the rush, but if you think you'll be spending a crazy amount of time in your car, and want to fix yourself hot meals while you're there, I have a list of small electrical appliances for that over on my recipe blog. I also wrote a guide to sheltering in place in a snowstorm last winter, that discusses how to bug-in in electricity-free cold conditions. Even if you're not expecting cold conditions, there's tips for pantry and bathroom prep that can be used any time you need to shelter-in-place without electricity. And since nothing brings a community together like shared trauma, here's a recipe for Chicken & Rice Soup that's made straight from the pantry on a single burner, which means it's easy to scale and serve to your neighbors. If you clicked through any of those links, you probably noticed that most of them aren't specifically about disaster prep. They're about theme parks, and music festivals, and beach days, and girls' weekends, and camping trips. They're about cooking for yourself from scratch in all kinds of situations, because that's what you have to do when you have a ton of food allergies. I made that soup for dinner last night thanks to leftover rice that needed to be used, and my family demolished the pot. I've been scolded for prepping before by "manifesters" who think that putting any energy towards a negative outcome will assure that outcome, so prepping is the worst thing you can possibly do, will I THINK OF THE CHILDREN??? Yeah, glad Joseph didn't say that when God Himself gave him dreams and prophecies of seven years of plenty followed by seven years of famine, so Joseph was able to work with the Pharoah to create grain stores during the "time of plenty" that saved Egypt during the famine. But aside from that... I'm prepping for FUN. I'm prepping for travel, I'm prepping for live music, I'm prepping for time in nature... and I'm making my kitchen an ingredients kitchen to cook around my food allergies, but this had been nothing but miraculous for my health - my lipidema went away. Nothing about this is coming from a place of fear. It's coming from a place of living my life in the best and richest way I can, and realizing that these methods can be adapted to any situation if needed. So, bring it Giant Baby. I'm ready for you, tantrums and all. And hopefully, these posts can help more folks get their shit in a pile before he gets here, too. And have a good time in the meantime.

This video just made my blood boil: Does she not look like every single one of your grandma's friend's when you were in grade school? I don't care when you were in grade school or where, I'm betting, if you're of anglo-saxon descent or roll with those who are, you've known so many women in their 50's who look just like her. And they're some of the best ladies in your life, you know it. And she's being bullied for being "trans." Or a "lesbian." First of all, I got hit with that one the first time when I rejected a guy's date invitation - which I suspected would be a humiliation ritual anyway. "Oh, so you're a lesbian?" This was back in 1998, when it was widely considered a "bad thing" to be a lesbian (see the cult classic 1999 movie "But I'm A Cheerleader")... he was really baiting me there. Problem being, my ace and autistic ass (though I was aware of neither at the time) both saw right through the bait, and also didn't think being a lesbian was a shameful thing. So, even though I wasn't, I told him I was with my full chest. This was after having endured my formative years constantly being asked "are you a boy?" (in a bullying way, as I was a hyper-feminine dresser with a name widely considered "princess-esque") because my mother didn't want a thing to do with my curly hair, so she kept it cut close to my head my entire childhood. So, there's always been social correction for any display of divergence in gender expression, no matter how innocuous... or how uncontrollable. That's a known fact for anyone who's ever put a toe out of line. Using my own experience again, I'm 5'10". I was 5'11" before the spinal disc removal. And the lipidema gave me bazongas, y'all. Without a bra, the nipples hover just over my belly button. They're my only "loose skin" that needs removal... when I lost the fat, I didn't lose the tissue, so they lost density but not volume. A little easier to carry, but with the actual shrinkage in my hips, waist, and thighs, I'm actually, literally the proportions of a living Barbie doll right now. You know, the most feminine object in the world? There's also no plastic surgeon on the planet that would make a boob job look like these. I'm on the list for a plastic surgeon to make them look not like these, purely for health reasons. Between my hips now being narrower than the shoulders I need to carry these tits around, and my height, and the anti-trans "biological male" rhetoric going around in the United States right now, I have absolutely been eyeballed going into the ladies room. Not harassed, thankfully, but definitely obviously given some very hard looks. Which is funny, considering I've had trans lady friends tell me I've been an Amazonian inspiration, which I love. Because height has nothing to do with femininity. Just because a man wants his women to be small and breakable and therefore defend-able doesn't mean my asexual ass has to comply with his sexual fantasy. There are plenty of women out there who would be "his type," and goddess protect them. Aphrodite is a goddess of love, yes, but also war - you think she's going to be some tiny, defenseless thing? And because she's not some tiny, defenseless thing, you're going to accuse her of being a man? You may want to look into Hermaphroditus sometime. And then consider Mama Aphrodite is a goddess of LOVE and WAR. And as someone who has participated in multiple 24 hour live performances of Homer's Iliad, I can tell you that shoving a spear up one's opponent's ass for it to emerge somewhere around the eyeball region is The Homeric Way. Not the way I expected to use my Classics degree, but here we are, 17 years later... 😅😅 Now, the fact that people should be able to choose to live their lives however they want, as long as they're not hurting anyone - and trans people and lesbians are obviously not hurting anyone around them by being trans or lesbian - should have nipped all this hate in the bud, but we humans sure do love to feel that sense of superiority when we cast judgement on others, don't we? Well, here's an additional argument for you - policing "biological males" hurts all women. Anyone who might not fit someone's narrow definition of femininity can be declared "trans" and therefore subject to harassment and abuse. They won't care that your little sister has a cross around her neck, a Bible in her bag, and a tampon in her vagina, if she's a little too tall, too square-jawed, too athletic for their tastes, they could do awful things to her under the guise of "I though she was one of those trans." And protecting her smaller, "more feminine" friends will be the excuse, so guess who's going to have survivor's guilt there? This is where hate gets you. And yes, a lesbian woman has been severely beaten for looking too masculine while using the ladies room once already, not to mention the multiple incidents of harassment reported by cisgender women I found while looking for my source for the above, this isn't a fantasy extrapolation. I had to leave this on a lighter note.

It's okay, my boobs laugh at those lacy things, too. And as a current 36K US myself (that's a 36I British), we need to talk about how we're keeping our underboob from rashing out and splitting apart when the temperature rivals that of the hotter regions of Hell this summer. I'm about to make bra recommendations. None are sponsored. All (okay, most) have been actually worn by me, on my 36K's (which have also been 38J's and 40I's in the recent past - the weight loss dropped my band size and my breast density, but my breast volume is the same as it's always been). All are the best of multiple brands' versions of the style that I have tried in the past. For everyday wear: FeelinGirl LLC's Everyday Wireless Unlined Bra. I wear size XL. Fun fact: I've had two separate laminectomies (that's where they remove a hunk of your spinal vertebra to get to the cord/nerves underneath) at T10-12. Those happen to be exactly at the level where my bra band sits. As a matter of fact, standard back closure bras sit right on my Fibromyalgic scar site. These bras are constructed like a cross between shape wear and a standard sports bra. They do provide legitimate light support, enough to keep my underboob vented. For strapless wear: Every large breasted woman needs a good bandeau bra, for casual strapless wear. If, for no other reason, sunburned shoulders. In researching this post, it doesn't look like Yitty makes their bandeau bras anymore, which took me some time to wrap my head around. A few years ago, when I discovered shape wear beyond high-waisted shorts, I tried the brands on the market making bandeaus at the time, and Yitty was far and away the best bandeau strapless bra for large breasts. Which means I can't recommend any of the brands that have popped up in the meantime, as my original Yitty bras are still in my wardrobe, going strong. However, based on past experiences with the brands, I'd try FeelinGirl's or Shapermint's before trying any of the others I'm seeing on the market here. Update, 5/22/2026: FeelinGirl ran a huge sale on what they call a bandeau bra... it's constructed like a standard strapless bra, which have never worked for me. It's padded, and it had back closures. It's not the "tube top" style I need, so it's going back. I still haven't tried Shapermint's version. For no bounce whatsoever: Glamourise's Full Figure, Plus Sized, No-Bounce Sports Bra. These unsexy motherfuckers run tight, so I'd get a 38J for myself right now, while measuring at a 36" underbust. For deep plunge & racer back wear: Delimira Women's Front Closure Full Coverage Bras. Mine are size 40H, and they still fit and lift well with the straps all tightened to their shortest point. Because the sizing stops at an H cup, if you're like me, you may need to work with sister sizing.* And as for swimwear: yes, there are brands that make bra-sized swimwear, and in extended sizes! *A brief note on sister sizing - bra cup size is relative to the bra band size. I went through the size progression I did, because to go down two sizes in the bra band, to keep the cup size the same as when I started, I had to go up two cup sizes to compensate for sizing down in the band. Because bra bands generally have at least three levels of eyes to hook your bra to, knowing how cups and band sizes work in proportion to each other means that while your actual fit will fit you the best, a sister size will also be a comfortably fitting bra for you, if you need to go up or down a cup size for any reason. Oh, and if you don't know your true size, here's the A Bra That Fits Calculator. Go get a measuring tape and learn how to fit your own undergarments. That can help a LOT with the underboob issues. Now, as for that rash and splitting skin issue... My skin is absolutely loving kokum or mangosteen butter. In it's raw state it's very solid, you may want to soften it up a bit and use a hand or stand mixer to whip it up with a little vitamin e oil for quick underboob application - I'd do 1 teaspoon of vitamin e oil for every 8 oz of kokum butter. You can also make a dusting powder with your favorite kitchen starch - cornstarch, arrowroot powder, tapioca starch, etc. Place 8-12oz of your starch in a 16oz jar with a tight seal, and then scent cotton balls with your favorite EDPs, perfume oils, or essential oils to create your custom dusting powder fragrance. Seal up the jar with the starch and scent balls inside, and place in a drawer or cupboard for 12-24 hours to let the fragrance permeate the powder. Now, it goes on in that order - kokum butter, then dusting powder. Then, put on your bra. BONUS! How to clean your underwire bras without ruining them! Grab your 2-3 gallon utility bucket. Sort your bras by color, unless you have multiple buckets, you'll be doing this in batches. If your bras have embedded gunk in the armpits and under wires: Fill your bucket with 1-1 1/2 gallons of hot water (tap hot is fine), add your bras, then 1 cup white/distilled vinegar, and 1/2 cup baking soda. Give the bucket a good stir, and let sit for an hour or two before rinsing your bras thoroughly, and hanging them to dry. If your bras are stanky no matter what you do: Fill your bucket with 1-1 1/2 gallons of hot water (tap hot is fine), add 1 tablespoon of Dettol and stir before adding your bras and stirring again. Let sit for an hour or two before rinsing your bras thoroughly, and hanging them to dry.