The Millennial's Odyssey

Well, shit, Christopher Nolan.

Of course, The Odyssey, Homer's great reflection on aging and legacy, is made into a star-studded summer blockbuster movie that takes over the discourse as I am the same age as the actors playing the human women roles, 20 years after my first reading of the epic poem in college... the same amount of time Odysseus spent literally and figuratively fucking around the Mediterranean while Penelope was at home weaving her heart out and fending off suitors.

I even did my Capstone comparing and contrasting various authors depictions of "Penelope" throughout the years, from a medieval story to Margaret Atwood's The Penelopiad. It seemed particularly poignant at the time, as the Afghanistan War was raging, and probably 3/4 of the girls on campus were wearing their boyfriend's dog tags with fancy silencers they bought at Claire's.

So now, here I am, telling some bro in the comments who thinks that Lupita Nyong'o, who plays Helen of Troy in the new movie... by the way, this is Lupita Nyong'o at the movie's Paris premiere:

Born in 1983.

That woman, right there, this bro believes is "too old" to play Helen of Troy in The Odyssey. You know, that story that takes place 20+ years after the Iliad, where Helen is in her late teens?

Bro's argument is that Helen is compared directly to Artemis in the Odyssey, you know, the perpetually teen virgin huntress goddess? So, that means she's a forever teenager, duh.

My argument, and yes, I made this, is that I enjoy the same perpetual youthfulness that Helen and Lupita both have. It's a combination of lucky genetics, disciplined physical care, and personality/energy, but it doesn't mean we're forever teenagers. We (not Helen of Troy, obviously, but us modern Artemisian 40-year-olds) don't get randomly carded because we don't look 21, we get randomly carded because they're trained to card you if you look younger than 30. No one can confidently say if we're 30 or not based on our physical appearance and irl energy, so we get carded even though we're over 40. Being able to pass for 29 at 44 is pretty great, really, but that's nowhere near being able to pass for 19.

And I think this pulls right into the current discussion among Millennial women about going on TikTok claiming you "don't look your age," asking people to guess your age, and having them humble you quickly because frankly, you're purposefully putting yourself right out there wide open for it.

Me? Here's 17 vs. 41:

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I don't care how well you age, you're going to mature. Change is going to happen, even if it isn't wrinkles and skin sagging.

For instance, I used to get so tan in the summer... 😭

Three years later, I don't even look like that anymore. I'm somewhere around 75lbs smaller, and my hair is quite a bit longer now, and has actually darkened up some thanks to my iron supplementation.

Age is so much more than just wrinkles.

I know bro is on because he's dunking on other commentors. So, I asked him if he realized that his insistence on Helen of Troy never aging in any way to remain the most beautiful woman in the world was directly correlated with the Epstein-ification of Millennial culture that we Millennial women have all had to confront and come to terms with since the latest release of Epstein Files information? He's taking his time trying to figure out how his "I'm not racist about hating the Helen of Troy casting" stance turned into an "I'm a pedophile" stance, whoops.

And no, I have not seen the movie. If I see the movie, it'll be here at home once it hits streaming. I'm waiting for a hysterectomy, three hours without a bathroom break is too much to ask of me right now. Especially considering I've already written about how I hate what I've seen about the movie design.

But damn, that very Millennial college degree sure is coming in handy right now! Especially considering that time spent in the Classics department spent surrounded by all these feminists led to further study into intersectional feminism as time went on... it cracks me up so hard that the Manosphere wants to adopt the Classics as their own dude subject, when my actual degree in the subject is absolutely the root of my feminism and activism. Suck it, boys.

Update: that son of a bitch in the comments responded by having ChatGPT formulate his argument for him, and just copy and pasted it in response to me. I fucking hate AI.

I responded that I didn't spend multiple years learning dead languages and using my human brain to access other human brains throughout history to study this very subject to have some fucking dudebro in the comments think he can win an argument by copy and pasting from an AI chat bot. Particularly when he completely ignored my challenge to defend his position against pedophilia. Because he can't.

Because here's the main point of Homer. Here's the reason why The Odyssey is making Christopher Nolan summer blockbuster numbers in 2026. Here's what you actually learn about these epics if you seriously, formally take up the study of Classics - the stories are important, because they're still relevant. Our discussion of what Helen of Troy should look like in her 40's in the shadow of how Jeffrey Epstein shaped Millennial culture through pedophilia is exactly the conversation Homer wants us to have right now.

According to BroGPT, Nolan gave his Helen a scar on her face. Again, I haven't seen the movie, and I didn't notice a scar in the production stills I've seen of her, but whatever. My own face is unmarked thanks to Kojic acid and full spectrum vitamin e oil, but the rest of my body is covered in stretch marks, surgical scars, and tattoos. Shit happens. You eventually realize you can't be quite so precious with something so fragile that you're expected to live in. It's called maturing.

Now, here's the thing - bro's argument is that an aging, scarred Helen is contrary to how Homer depicts her, which even the AI says is very generalized. Nowhere in any of the citations the AI gives does it say anything about her looking like a teenager, just that she does not look "haggard." I don't look haggard. I still have scars. Lupita sure doesn't look "haggard." And most of Homer's depictions of her are of her charisma and personality, not her physical appearance.

But what bro is completely missing is that The Odyssey is a living story. It does not matter that the original story has been told for millennia, or that the current re-telling is set in a Mediterranean so ancient there's monsters everywhere, this particular retelling is being released at the same time as The Epstein Files. This particular retelling is going to be regarded within the same culture as the one that Epstein shaped, and that we are now learning just how much of a hand he had in its current condition. This Helen, and this Penelope, both grew up under the influence of Epstein, same as the rest of us Millennial women. One responded by pumping her face so full of Botox that she can't properly emote anymore. The cleverest woman in Greece, and the most talented artist, played by the woman who sacrificed her art for youth and a beauty ideal shaped by a cannibalistic pedophile. As far as I can tell, Lupita has kept the cosmetic enhancements to a minimum, if she's indulged at all. The aging, ethereal beauty playing the aging, ethereal beauty, both making men confront themselves with their morals and ideals. Welcome to the world of Homer. It doesn't die. Because it's the story of humanity itself.

And might I point out to bro, who is likely Gen Z, that this movie is coming out 20 years after Millennials ended their own war? Like, literal war. There was a reason Troy was the sword & sandal blockbuster back then. I remember the veterans' therapeutic reading circles. See my Capstone project, referenced above. We're kinda used to this. He may want to get used to it, considering America's back fucking around in the Middle East again. There's a reason Homer's in the zeitgeist. He's showing us who we are, again.

Oh shit. I just realized that this guy keeps invoking ARTEMIS to defend his pedophilia and racism.

Oh, buddy. My asexual, teenage archery champion ass knows her WELL. I just let her know she has a new hunting dog ripe for the training, if she wants him.

This is how she responded. Hope he has fun 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

https://youtu.be/c5Rp_iHpQOQ?si=fPlLTUB750GsQDun

If that surprises you, you may want to look into the link between asexuality and BDSM. Yeah.