Regarding the visage.

This is one of those points that I very clearly remember my mother reaching about 15-20 years ago. She flew to San Francisco, and splurged on a full Bare Minerals kit before finally declaring herself makeup-free, mostly because she had too hard of a time finding brands that didn't irritate her eyes and skin, but it was also too hard to find makeup that sat well on maturing skin. I'm learning now that it's not just "fine lines" she was talking about - perimenopausal hormone changes give your skin a whole different texture. You can not have new wrinkles, but still have a whole new skin situation to deal with, especially when it comes to how primers and foundations work.

I should probably frame this with a little backstory - I spent the first 14 or so years of my life a practicing Seventh-Day Adventist, I went into the makeup experimentation years being told it was sinful and not to use it, so I didn't exactly develop any skills or a routine when it came to makeup. Skincare? I've always been fastidious. Makeup was for special occasions. Even after I stopped practicing Adventism and could wear makeup, I still stayed away from it. I left religion about the time Riot Grrl was gearing up, and while I was too young to participate at the time (and too Midwestern, for that matter, where was a 14 year old kid in rural Michigan in the early 90's going to get radical zines and bootleg music recordings? Do keep in mind I was the oldest daughter and granddaughter, and when I did get adopted as a little sister by a "cool big sister," she was a "Lilith Fair" indie girl), I was fully rebelling against the performance of femininity, and what's the most performative performance of femininity we have in our culture? I certainly wasn't going to sacrifice my precious teenage sleep for it, when I was expected to be at a desk thinking clearly FAR too early for my ADHD brain that was up all night contemplating the nature of the universe, while my logical side screamed hours left before the alarm goes off at the ADHD part.

I have never seen the Showtime channel's series Billions, but being part of the queer community, I've seen plenty of pictures and clips of the character Taylor Mason, played by Asia Kate Dillon. Anyone who knew me in high school and didn't keep up with me in the slightest probably thinks I look like Taylor Mason nowadays.

But when I got a 2010 situationship with an art museum fresh out of college, I needed to visually blend into the staff and setting, and I had to do it fast and cheap. Between the earliest years of Pinterest not being just style inspo, but a whole personal styling master class, and working in an environment that encouraged professional expression, lo and behold, I discovered the performance of femininity. Hard.

And I also discovered that while makeup wasn't "required" or "needed," the right amount of makeup elevated a look in a way I couldn't not participate in. I even signed up to sell Younique to build a collection (that's an MLM makeup business) - I can explain. My presenter number had four digits, and began with a 3. A still close friend got me into it, I was building a professional makeup wardrobe on a post-recession recent graduate budget, and this was so ground floor that they were working with sample products that were actually really good... those disappeared and were replaced with pure shit the minute they built a presenter base, but I digress.

I didn't get into the whole face contouring thing until 2020 - I literally never wore foundation before then, just a dust of tinted powder. One of my pandemic binges was Trixie Mattel's videos of her doing her full drag makeup with drugstore brands, and reviewing the brands as she was demonstrating her makeup techniques... that are so purposefully exaggerated that the whole contouring and face sculpting thing finally clicked for me. I've done my own photo shoot makeup a few times now, with varying results 😅😅

Being homebound for the past two years but in much more pain than I was in in 2020 has meant my makeup wear has gone back down to special occasions (which don't happen too much) and that's about it. I did a big clean out of my old makeup last year, kept a few things for those special occasions, gave what was still good to a drag queen friend, and dumped the rest. I purchased a handful of fresh products, mostly going back to my brows, mascara, blush, and a dusting of tinted powder roots of 16 years ago.

... and then I took these pictures, which you will also see in my May Hair Challenge update:

... and I immediately put lip pencils and lip oil on order 😅😅

I'm not wearing any makeup at all in these pictures. I didn't even bother covering the scar on my cheek, which you're still pretty hard-pressed to see (I'll have a post about that later).

But the rules have already changed, thanks to the headwraps. I need a lip pop. It's potentially the only makeup I need at all. But dang, I've always had lilac-colored lips, but I don't remember them getting so pale 😅😅

It's not just that, I have a green primer to take the rosacea down if needed. And apparently no one wears eyeshadow or mascara anymore? Unless you're Zara Larsson or Zara Larsson inspired.