Me: "Better political analysts than I are talking about the current problems, I'd rather focus my blog on workable personal solutions." The Universe: "Girl, it is 2026, and you're an American. Please." Go ahead. Considering that list, guess why I would be on an FBI watchlist or three? If you've read my About page, you'd probably point to my history as a 2016 Water Protector aka community organizer around water rights. That's definitely how I originally got myself on a few lists, but I had to give it up because of the Great Fibromyalgia Flare of 2018, and my health has just gone downhill from there. What in heavens name could I be doing with my very limited energy/spoons that would worry the current US government? You may also point to my continuing decolonization work, but beyond one blog essay, that's all been lived personal philosophy, I don't think I can be arrested for things like cooking my own food from scratch. The answer is in AuntieLinks. I organize a clothing swap. That's right, my coordinating the re-distribution of resources in the community, with my organizational partners being an amazing trans woman and her amazing wife, is anti-American behavior nowadays. So much for "with Liberty and Justice for All." I have been laughing about this all day. Of all the terrifying people out there, they're going to profile the crippled clothing swap auntie? It's easier than crying. Memorial Day is the next big American holiday, where we honor the soldiers who gave their lives to preserve our American way of life. I'm sure they would be very proud that their sacrifice is keeping our country safe from the horrors of *checks notes* ladies clothing swaps that welcome trans women. I'm sure the FBI agents sent to raid the home of a *checks notes* crippled cat lady living with a bunch of Trump voters are really going to feel like all that training and commitment they put into their careers was worth it for that one defining moment when they truly made the country a safer place. I'm sure the American Taxpayer couldn't think of anything more urgent to spend the money taken from their paychecks on than shutting down an *checks notes* Earth Day event promoting sustainability and environmental stewardship on a local, realistic scale for the everyday person to participate in. Which is why I'm sure the event will go off without a hitch, and so will the one in the fall, because what we're doing is as American as sticking your dick in an apple pie in a teen romcom, and what they're doing is... not very American of them. Go ahead, name something seditious that could possibly be done during a four hour clothing swap event twice per year that would justify an FBI raid using YOUR tax dollars paying YOUR federal agents to harass American citizens collecting charitable donations. And yet, my semi-annual ladies and theydies clothing swap meets all seven of the criteria listed above for "domestic terrorism." Proudly, by the way. We'd rather be on the right side of history, thanks. And we're going to be SO stylish while we are. I just... I'm well aware that the American Mythology is just that - a myth - but it's still so jarring when you're told you are so lucky to have been born in a place where you're "truly free" and can "do or be anything you want to be" at that young, impressionable brain development age by the right important people that whenever it's shoved into my face that my national identity, which was encouraged to be a big part of my personal identity, was all a gigantic, blatant lie told to kids who didn't know better and therefore couldn't prepare for the reality of their situation as it got worse and worse...

This isn't a political blog. Why? Because this is my blog, and I believe that our current political system is old, dying energy, and I would rather put my attention and energy towards the new, healthy system I want to see put in place when the old system finally gives up the ghost. It's not that I don't follow the politics, and vote/act accordingly, it's just that looking beyond the politics is my wheelhouse, and I'll leave the political commentary to the people who are actually good at it. I guess you could say I've been on a wellness journey my whole life, I was born into a Seventh-Day Adventist medical family who takes the Health Ministry to heart and soul. I spent my childhood devouring books on herbalism and nutritional supplementation. But I really went on my personal health journey starting in 2017, when my time at the Fibromyalgia Pain Clinic got me into strength training, which ended up exacerbating my joint hypermobility and osteoarthritis issues, to the point of multiple major surgeries. My journey led me to diagnoses of everything from food allergies to neurodivergence. If you follow this blog, you'll know that my personal approach to wellness has been holistic, and informed strongly by three things - my background in Anthropology and study of ancient and traditional lifeways, my lifelong spiritual journey, particularly in energy work, and my commitment to decolonizing my thought processes and daily habits. And my conclusion? Wellness is spiritual. Any time you're caring for your physical body, which is a manifestation of your soul, you're caring for your soul, too. And considering every last one of us is an expression of the Universal or God Source, striving for personal health from a place of pure love of self is a direct act of reverence and obedience to God. I'm coming to this conclusion as "wellness influencers" are using their content to funnel people into a certain political mindset. These people are using specific diet and exercise habits under the guise of health to signal their political beliefs, and make those beliefs look more desirable. How very Piscean Age of them. Now, consider this from my perspective: Spirituality is forever. Politics are very temporary. Spirituality is a force far bigger than any single person. Politics is man-made and headed by fallible, ego-driven humans with a deep, toxic need to control others. As far as I'm concerned, using the health of the human body, the soul's physical expression, the vehicle the soul uses to interface with our planet, to promote societal division in the name of politics is Golden Calf level blasphemy. At least everyone worshiping the Golden Calf were 100% aware and truthful about what they were doing. Many of these influencers drag Christianity into their brand. But religion has always been politics' way of controlling spiritual access, so no one is surprised there. Dear Reader, please know that I am no influencer, and anything I share about diet, exercise, or wellness in general has no ulterior motive. My wellness focus is purely on uniting my energy with the Universal Source, and keeping up the best vessel I can for my soul to use to fulfill its purpose here on Earth. And I'm not trying to proselytize my way of life, either. I'm just showing you how I did it, if you're wondering. Like all spiritual things, this is something you have to choose for yourself, because you want it. That's how personal sovreignty works.

I generally stretch my hair by sleeping with it in two cornrows before doing my length check pictures. But today was wash & chebe day, so my curls are out and down right now. This is at about 80% air dried, and my sleep bonnet hasn't absorbed the extra butter yet, so it's pretty drenched in product even if it's otherwise dry: I'd say 3A when my hair is heavy like this. It gets bigger and rounder and the curls get tighter the drier and lighter it gets, but not dramatically. But, I've definitely reached the "shoulder length when shrunk" phase of the grow-out! And this is where I need to start being extra careful with the ends...

This one's for my AFAB Millennials. And it has content warnings of pedophilia, human trafficking, torture, and eating disorders. The biggest conversation everywhere but on US media as I write this is The Epstein Files, particularly the early 2026 "info dump" that made it brutally obvious that Jeffrey Epstein, likely the literal Antichrist, known pedophile (among other things), controlled pop culture for girls and women for 30+ years. A lot of women are coming to terms with how men like Epstein, and Victoria's Secret owner Lex Wexner, had Millennials wearing words like "juicy" printed over their butts when they were 10 years old, and then heading straight in to get their crotches waxed bald once a month by 18 years old, at the latest. They're putting together where fashion and pop culture trends really originated from, and it has been a lot to unpack for a lot of women. Yeah. Feminists were unpacking the symptoms we were seeing of this in culture back in the day. Of course they called us "feminazis." Of course they purposefully mischaracterized feminist philosophy. They got ten extra years of selling and torturing children out of it. Anyway. Now that we know, we can do better as a whole. And as one of those fore-runners of stepping away from patriarchial pedo culture, I've done my personal unpacking and "the work," and I have some advice on how to move beyond what the creepy rich men want and understand what you want for yourself. First of all, the only person who gets to have a significant, actionable opinion about your body is you. It's definitely not your partner, especially if your partner is a cis man. People who aren't you can have an opinion, but their opinion is secondary to your opinion about your own body. You get to regard or disregard their opinion at your discretion. Body hair is usually where people start to deconstruct here. This doesn't mean you need to grow out a 70's style hairy muff if you don't want to... but this is your permission to grow it out if you've always wanted to, upcoming bikini season be damned. The beach will get whatever body you give it. If a guy deems you unfuckable for it - he didn't want to fuck you. And uncertain sexual relationships aren't the best idea right now, anyway, especially considering 40,000 people came out of spring break 2026 with STD's from Houston, TX alone, with one guy testing positive for literally every single STD they know of. Same with shaving or otherwise removing any body hair - if removing it makes you more comfortable, go for it. If it's always something that's irritated your skin and given you ingrown hairs, maybe consider letting it grow. Another thing to consider is your blonde hair. If you need to pay someone $250+ per month to maintain your hair color, it's not your natural color. You were blonde as a child because, unless you're a very specific kind of Scandinavian or Dutch, blonde is a child's hair color. Fun fact, there's this Romani genetic thing where every so often, a very towheaded, blue-eyed child is born. My dad and brother both got this quirk - my dad's eyes darkened but stayed blue, my brother's are as black as mine now. Both have black hair. Nobody would call them "natural blondes," they call them "towheaded children." Now, for what you put on your body, that's all you. And it's something you're going to need to do some work with, considering it's likely never been truly all you before - you've been told how to dress by men, for men your whole life. I recommend experimenting. Clothing swaps, and thrifting makes this a lot easier than just heading to the mall, especially if you're on a budget, and especially if you want to make damn sure your purchases aren't lining a trafficker's pocket. I started with wearing all the clothes I wanted to wear as a teenager, and couldn't, due to my body size (tall, heavy, and busty) and my family's conservatism. This included lingerie - yeah, I'm asexual, but I'm also a Taurus Venus and Libra Mars... if it's pretty, and lacy, and oozes sensualism, I'm going to want to participate, in my own way. And my own way was plus sized lingerie modeling for a few years. In my late 30's and early 40's. I was fat and middle aged, the exact opposite of what society tells me is sexy - freedom, baby! I'm gonna put my unsexy body in ALL the lace and murder widow robes, because I want to wear the shit out of that stuff and look and feel beautiful. For myself. Of course, we're all going through mass deconstruction of our body image while we're entering peri/menopause, perfect timing really - might as well treat this as second puberty! For me, I'm deconstructing as the hot flashes are ramping up, and frankly, hot flash preparation is the first thing I consider when I'm purchasing or swapping for summer clothing nowadays. Super light materials, as little polyester as possible, and proper underthings for off-shoulder, cropped, and sheer clothes (generally bandeau bras and flesh-toned underwear). And since I've lost so much weight, bundling up in the winter is priority, so like a good Michigander, I focus on interesting layers. I just got the wildest faux cheetah fur vest from Cracker Barrel, of all places... If this is the first time you've ever even considered your own style, I would recommend knowing your color season and your body type to start, and start exploring what kinds of clothes you genuinely like to wear, and feel comfortable and stylish and well-represented in. Speaking of weight, you're allowed to be a healthy weight. You don't have to be lean like a prepubescent child to attract a man, or obese to repel or arouse a man. You live in your body for you. And when you've taken back control of more aspects of yourself from the patriarchial, pedophiliac culture, you'll feel a lot more control in general, hopefully enough that you can loosen up your restrictive or binge eating. By the way, if you are living with an eating disorder, please seek treatment. Real treatment from a real person. The poison can run deep... and you'd haul your ass to the ER if you were bit by a rattlesnake, or ingested arsenic, there's certainly no shame in seeking medical treatment for deliberate mental poisoning by unethical people. This is where we also need to confront the fear of aging that's tied into to pedophilia culture. First of all, if I have learned anything in the past five years, it's that what you put in your body is more important than what you put on your skin, when it comes to your skin health. Your skin is your body's largest organ. It functions the best when all your other organs are functioning their best. Why? They're all organs. They all function together. Your skin is super absorbent, yes, but not as absorbent as your guts. If you're looking at 40, your skin will thank you a lot more for proper daily hydration with quality electrolytes (deep sea mineral sourced, not baking soda, potassium, and high fructose corn syrup sports drinks), a fiber rich diet sitting around 2K calories per day, depending on your body's needs, and collagen, vitamin c, vitamin d, and iron supplementation as your bloodwork dictates, than it will for regular Botox and fillers. On the outside? Prioritize sun protection, and use the simplest formulations of ingredients that are best for your unique skin. Again, this is about making our bodies comfortable vehicles to live in, not making them commodities for pedophiles to get rich on. And that means making our bodies healthy so we can go out and get shit done, and wearing whatever the fuck we want while we do it. Someone who's been doing an excellent job of deconstructing out loud - not only in her personal style, but in her public deconstruction content on TikTok and YouTube, is @KnittingCultLady, who you should check out if you want a regular voice about deconstruction from someone doing it in your feeds. I found early on that following the people doing the things you want to be doing is a great way to get into the energy of actually going out and doing it. Tell the algorithm what you want, with your purest intention behind it, and it can help you kick off a whole journey you never thought you could or would take. How do you think I discovered North African haircare? It wasn't talking to the Dutch-American farmers who live around me...

So far, the trend seems to be that I spend most of the month thinking that my hair isn't growing at all, and then in the last week of the month realizing that my hair has grown significantly enough that I'm going to have to start modifying my routine to accommodate the new growth 😅😅 I've been washing and oiling my scalp with my hair loose this whole time, sectioning it on the fly. I'm about to the point where I'll want to section out and twist my hair before getting into the bath. To be honest, I thought I was still a few months away from that point. When I cornrow my hair to stretch it, or wrap it, it doesn't feel like it's gained too much length, but it does feel denser, and I'll take it! Cue the drum roll... here's my March results: Compare that to February: Not a lot of overall length, but the sides are catching up to the back nicely! Not to mention, where the hell did all the greys go? The lighting is a bit different, but not that different. I didn't dye my hair. The only change was the chebe butter recipe, which I'll discuss a bit later in more detail. The changes wouldn't add color to my hair. And the greys aren't gone, trust me. I just didn't realize I had so many more last month than I do right now. If I was shedding greys to grow dark hairs in again, that might explain a stall in length, too... I'll credit the Kundalini Awakening effect, why not? Since my Maa Kali murti came home on February 27, I've been listening to Kali mantras while wearing my heat treatment cap over my freshly applied scalp oil and chebe butter. Mantras are supposed to be done for one hour, and so are heat treatments, seemed logical to me. And Maa Kali's hair is impressive af. I fully credit Her influence for starting with head wrapping/veiling. I just got some unlined silk wig caps and silk durags to protect my hair from rubbing on my cotton headscarves and baseball caps, and to prevent my headscarves from getting stained by my hair butter. My initial order of jersey cotton hijabs from Modest Behaviour came a couple weeks back, and y'all, hijabs are exactly what I was looking for! The perfect length, the perfect weight, everything. I wasn't sponsored to say that, I found her completely independently through her cat's TikTok! I also made an energy clearing and protecting spray for my scarves and silk underlayers, consisting of half & half Florida Water, and Holy Water consecrated by an exorcist. The chemical reaction when I combined the two honestly freaked me out 😅😅 My spiritual hygiene is going to be like The crown chakra is the other end of the root chakra, so it kinda makes sense, I guess. Ancient Israelites girded their loins for battle, modern spiritualists in the Kali Yuga gird their heads. Speaking of crown chakra protection, April's purchases also include more papaya oil, I'm finally down to the last 6oz of my pre-surgery scalp oil batch. I've been using that aforementioned new batch of chebe butter with kokum butter as my solid for a few weeks now, though. I have found my butter, hallelujah! That makes my final chebe butter recipe: 1/2 cup kokum butter 1/4 cup raw coconut butter 1/4 cup olive oil 1 heaping tablespoon chebe powder You'll melt all the ingredients down together in a double boiler (or in a Pyrex bowl over a pot of boiling water, like I do...) before transferring it all to a wide-mouth mason jar to store. Why wide mouth? Because it'll take a good 48-72 hours for the oils and butter to re-harden, and the chebe powder will sink to the bottom of the jar. You'll want to take a hand mixer fit with a single beater to whip your cooled and set chebe butter and re-incorporate all that chebe into the base. And with that, I'm on my way to long hair! I ordered a bunch of sets of silk scrunchies when I ordered my hijabs, so I'm ready to keep my hair up off my shirt fabric while I'm at home, too. I'm prepared for maximum growth, let's do this!

Last night's stir-fried mung bean sprouts were a huge hit. The original plan was to thaw some chicken to throw in the wok as well, but the mung beans and rice were that perfect blend of filling but not heavy, and the chicken never actually came out of the freezer. That started out as 1/2 cup of dried large mung beans. I bought 2lbs of dried beans for $2.99. So, that's 75 cents of sprouts that fed my family of five as a main dish along with pennies worth of rice and sauce per plate, with enough left over to incorporate into another meal. It's also vegan, low-cal, and nutritionally complete. Next up by household consensus: black eyed peas. I put them on to soak this morning at 9am, so you could say I got it started... Making this joke was the whole reason for this blog post. I think they're destined for a salad with the chow chow slaw that's been pickling in my refrigerator for the past month. Or maybe in a coconut curry soup, considering I want to eat that chow chow slaw with the barbecue we're ordering for Easter dinner, and those sprouts will be ready long before then. This is way more fun than picking what to eat off a menu or a shelf! If you're reading this and going, "wow, I want to start sprouting beans and grains, too!" I learned how through Pinterest and YouTube: This came from a pin board called "Grandma's Life Hacks." This goated algorithm pull introduced me to the easiest sprouting system, with these mason jar lids that are a full sprouting system in and of themselves, which take up much less space than the sprouting trays, or the systems that require a tilt prop for the airflow. As for the sprouting lids I actually bought, these lids (not sponsored) are the best price I found for that style of sprouting lids.

This is the new TikTok trend, huh? I want in. It'll never be more than friends, including friends with "benefits." I'm asexual and aromantic to the damn core. Having chronic illnesses means that I'm flaky AF. I have better pain management and mobility aids now than I used to, but if the temperature is too dangerous or my pain is too uncontrollable, I will have to cancel last minute. Yeah, that does mean that there are certain things (mostly ticketed events) I can't do anymore, just in general. ADHD gives me some serious time blindness. Not only will I inevitably be late or early (because I'm overcompensating), but months can feel like weeks to me. I may go radio silent for ages and all of a sudden text you with a million questions about a topic we had one conversation about two years before. Or I won't initiate a conversation for weeks and weeks, because I'll think I'm "bothering you" if I do contact you for something frivolous. I also have internal hyperactivity, which means I am perfectly comfortable with long in-person silences. I'm talking literal hours. And while whoever my internal dialogue partner that day is usually gets the brunt of my "talking it out" during those long silences, you may get me thinking out loud at you randomly about whatever I'm hyperfocusing on and need to verbalize to understand. I also have the autistic bluntness, and truthfulness over glossing. I will tell you the truth, good or bad. You will get tactfulness. I can promise it's coming from a place of kindness, but it won't feel like it. You come to me for advice and solutions, not sympathy. It's not that I don't feel sympathy for you, it's just that "making it better" is how I express sympathy. If it can't be made better (I will brainstorm), I'll tell you very frankly about how much it sucks, and how your feelings are valid and should be felt properly and acted on responsibly. I insist on the aux cord. Including in conversation when you say something that sounds like a song lyric, and I'll start singing. It's not that I don't understand the concept of "cringe," I just don't understand why it should apply to me. I don't drive. It's thanks to my ADHD & dyscalculia. If you do drive, I'll be asking for a ride if we make plans together. That dyscalculia also keeps me from playing most games, from video games to board games to card games. I don't drink alcohol. I take 9 prescription medications, and I enjoy living. I am "California sober," and frankly, I can party plenty hard without a hangover the next day, thank you. I live my whole life pretty strictly and simply, actually. It's how I survive, and thrive under adversity. You may find that threatening to be around, if you don't have that kind of discipline yourself. I'm childfree. I'd love to hear about your kids, but if you want to tell those stories to someone who relates 100%, I am not that person. I'll be 44 in June. Some people hate age and experience. Like they won't get there themselves eventually. Inevitably. My bedtime is 9PM. I'm not saying it's non-negotiable, I am saying I get weird and grumpy when I get exhausted. I don't do social media anymore. I do blogs, and I do one-on-one or small group texts. If you want me to know something about you, or see a picture, you have to send it directly to me, or join the blogosphere. If you wrong me in any way, my cut-off game is immaculate. That includes if you prove yourself unsafe to any of my queer or trans friends, or BIPOC friends. Or any of my friends for whatever reason. If you're a creep to them, you're a creep to me.

I was introduced to the concept of decolonization in 2016, when I joined the #noDAPL movement for indigenous water rights. I was already pretty deep into both third wave feminism and early body positivity, so decolonization seemed like the logical next step - intersectional feminism identified the problem as a twisted patriarchal system fed by capitalism and religion as social control, decolonization proposed a perfectly do-able solution of personal accountability in returning to pre-colonial thought systems and therefore lifeways. How does one approach that? Turns out, it's practically the same thing as what the spiritual community calls "shadow work," and the neurodivergent community calls "unmasking." It takes a lot of inner work, particularly identifying the parts of you that you've been hiding, or pretending don't exist because they don't benefit the colonial mindset. Now, keep in mind, I'm no wide expert on this. This hasn't been a journey of research for me, it's been a journey of self discovery, and those are two very different things. This is definitely a personal reflection essay, not an exhaustive study. What is "decolonization," exactly? It's a return to how cultures lived before the colonizing culture came in and imposed their own way of life. As an American, this all happened long before my living relatives were born, so the images that creates basically involves living off-grid in the woods somewhere. Obviously, I am not doing that at all, and that's not what decolonization actually is (though it can be, in radical cases). So, how does one decolonize in a modern setting? Well, first, you have to identify the legacy of colonialism. Most people will point to racism and white supremacy right away, but why was a racist, classist system created in the first place? That's the backbone of capitalism. We love to focus on the pioneers and the westward expansion when we look at the early years of America, but take a look at what was happening on the east coast at that time, where the modern country was already established... the country was founded at the beginning of the Industrial Revolution, and the North embraced it wholeheartedly... with child labor gleaned from the poor, immigrant communities. Meanwhile, the South was in literal tall cotton, riding the agricultural business on the back of slavery. Human exploitation to profit the wealth hoarders is the backbone of this country. Capitalism relies on two things to function - division in the masses to keep them from organizing and taking control of the system, and for the masses to consume the products they make to line the CEO's wallet. Racism, classism, and overconsumption in all forms for the 99% it is. Knowing that, decolonization means deconstructing those concepts in your own life, and reconstructing your life around the principals of personal sovereignty, community, and spirituality that your ancestors enjoyed. This is a bottom-up movement. It's work that has to be done on a very personal, individual level. You need to fully believe it and live it, and then find community with other people who fully believe and live it. The more the community grows, the more people see how happy and functional we are, the more people do their own work and join... that's how we affect major change. Okay, but how does one do this practically? Because it still sounds huge and hard and very vague. And yes, it is a large, life-altering project. But, as the old adage goes, you eat the elephant bite by bite, swallowing it whole would be impossible. And you'll naturally encounter and discover the areas where you'll find you need to decolonize. I'll go ahead and share how the process has looked for me so far. It'll look different for everyone, but at least this is a good guide to where to start looking at your lifestyle, and how a capitalistic mindset affects it. My body made me decolonize my diet. When you're allergic to five of the most common food allergens, and when one is subsidized by the government to grow and therefore added to everything pre-made, you have to cook from scratch. And "American food" is not meant to be cooked from scratch... even if it's assembled in a home kitchen, it involves processed food like canned soup. Which means you start eating real American food - rice and grains, beans, lightly processed corn, vegetables and fruits, lean meats, nuts (if you can) and seeds, ferments and pickles, herbs and spices for seasonings, honey and maple syrup for sweeteners. But why should someone without any food allergies eat like this? Two big reasons come to mind: my PCP told me that there's been a rise in deadly colon cancer in millennials in their 30's and 40's, to the point where she expects they'll drop the routine colonoscopy age to 35 fairly soon. And as I write this, the price of food is experiencing the worst inflation in my lifetime. Those foods are the most affordable in the grocery store now. Okay, three. Those are the kind of foods that you need to track your calories when you eat them to make sure you're getting enough calories in to maintain your body's basal needs. You want to lose some fat while eating huge, satisfying portions of luxurious food? Decolonize your diet. As for decolonizing the rest of my self care, that took me to some unexpected places. I was introduced to The Nap Ministry around the same time as I was first learning about decolonization, and let me tell you, the Rest is Resistance philosophy is easy to understand, and incredibly difficult to incorporate when you have to override the millennial professional woman #GirlBoss hustle mentality that was drilled into you by your professional peers and the media for the entirety of the 2010's. Ah, the high-functioning autistic double-edged sword: you internalize how society tells you to behave, and behave it from behind an iron-clad mask to the point of mental breakdown, and then keep performing because you've been taught that your worth is determined by your output, and you can't be "worthless." So, the Universe went ahead and orchestrated a period in my life where I was bed bound until I could grapple with my concepts of self-worth and productivity. That sparked a re-set period where the boundaries between my physical, mental/emotional, and spiritual lives blurred more than ever before. Mostly because separating the care of your body from capitalism takes you back to practices from times and places where caring for your body was a spiritual act. Everyone's been told "your body is a temple," and we're very used to it being used patriarchially as a way to control your appearance or behaviors - "GOD HIMSELF dwells within you, therefore you can't eat pork/get tattooed/have casual sex/etc." But removing that from the framework of modern religion, and considering it alongside traditional body care practices, the old saw takes on a whole new meaning when you realize you're maintaining your physical and energetic hygiene at the same time. I discovered that traditional North African products and techniques work the best for my body, and I by in large take care of myself in ways that Hatshepsut and Nefertiti would recognize. I've already written about how this has led me to take up veiling here and here, something I would have never expected I would ever want to do, but here I am seeing the practicality and fashion of it, thanks to the process of decolonization. And how does one best decolonize their body care in this way? The biggest first step you can make is to stop buying products on vibes, smells, and claims. Do your research - thankfully, here's where the neurodivergences come in handy, I can happily hyperfocus on this subject for hours. Start with knowing what you're working with - what kind of skin do you have, what kind of hair do you have, what are your particular needs? Me? Skin-wise, I have normal skin with the help of hyaluronic acid serum, and Kojic acid soap and HOCL keep my rosaecea well controlled. Meanwhile, I keep my skin tight and wrinkle-free with a vitamin e concentrate and cocoa butter slug. That's all. I have no need to shop Ulta for the latest and greatest product, just for the couple of tried-and-true products that I know work for me. Same for haircare for my 3b-c, fine, highly porous hair. I make my own scalp oil based on trial-and-error and learning what my scalp likes, and my own chebe butter in the same way. I use a commercial leave-in conditioner under the chebe that I'm loyal to, and that whole combination keeps my hair growing quickly and the length preserved. I also grew my virgin hair out, so I'm not putting out any more time or money on dye. Yeah, a lot of this process is about accepting the reality of what you're working with and enhancing your unique, God and ancestry-given beauty instead of making yourself look like everyone else. Not only for your mental health and relationship with your physical form, but also to divorce from the capitalist mindset on the physical body. This becomes reclaiming your body from being a cash cow for capitalists and to being a functional tool for your soul to interface in full purpose with the physical world. And that does mean bringing a lot of things closer to home. I do get pedicures, because with my nerve damage it's too dangerous for me to do my own toenails, I can't tell when I'm slicing into the skin. But my whole foods diet and collagen and liquid mineral supplementation gives me such healthy fingernails, I don't want to cover them. I even trim/style my own hair, and my mom, grandma, and sister's, so no one in the house has to pay for their hair care. Wigs, hair extensions, lash extensions? To be honest, I've never been the type to choose to put my money there, anyway, even when my hair wasn't growing like this. Now, I have 3's, so I'm watching videos about how wig installs have made women with 4c hair straight-up hate their own hair from afar, and with a ton of sympathy and love for these women and girls. I see the colonization they're dealing with, and how much of their time and money and attention and even health that it's sucking up, and I know the personal journey they have to take if they want to wear their own hair and love and care for it the way it is. I've always been the kind of rebellious type that's worn my natural hair as a fuck you to beauty standards in general, I guess that's called "civil rights hair" nowadays, which, okay 🤣🤣 we just called it "natural" back in the day, but call it whatever if it makes you want to wear it more. For the record, there's nothing wrong with wearing wigs or lashes, or with straightening your hair or wearing extensions. It's when you can't wear anything but because you hate what you have naturally is when it becomes a problem. Decolonizing the rest of my appearance was fairly simple, as I've always had limited closet space, and been into thrifting and swapping. I did go through a Shein phase simply because fast fashion in my size was so novel that I had to wear the styles I could never wear before and get it out of my system. I did this as I was building a huge community clothing swap, so I don't feel too terribly about it, heh. I also never did "hauls," bought on clearance, and still have and wear most of what I bought, years later, because I take care of it. So, you could say I saved it from the landfill. The biggest part of this is returning to developing a personal style, not adopting rotating aesthetics you need an entirely new fast-fashion wardrobe for. When you have a solid personal style, and you know your shapes and silhouettes and what you actually enjoy wearing, you'll actually buy or swap for things you'll wear repeatedly. You don't need a giant closet filled with never-touched clothes, just a well-curated selection of pieces you can combine for multiple looks. When that's your style philosophy, going "no-buy" for however long, or only purchasing that one needed item that rounds out six pieces in your wardrobe and nothing else is very easy. Because you always have something to wear for any occasion, since you know how to put your clothes together and style them well. As for the rest of your style: that's all you. Makeup or no makeup? Depends on what you're comfortable with. Just, like your clothing wardrobe, identify what you actually use, and curate your collection to something you can pan before it all expires. Don't buy what you can't use just because you like collecting. Collecting is for non-perishable items. And shopping is not a hobby. Tattoos? It's your skin. Hair? Do what you want with it - I gave up hair dye, but that is not essential to the process. It's just essential to my personal hair health, which I had to prioritize over the society-prescribed youth preservation that was destroying my hair structure. Plastic surgery? That's where you're going to want to really sit with your "why" before signing the surgery paperwork. I firmly believe that the majority of plastic surgery and cosmetic procedure regret is when it's done because capitalism told them they "needed" to do it to meet the beauty standard, not because they truly believed they needed to be "fixed." The next part involves expanding out into the local community - support local art and artists. As much or more than corporate artists. Shop your jewelry and home decor at local Maker's Markets, or boutiques that showcase local artists. Drop a streaming service in favor of a season pass to a local theater company. Follow a local concert series, chances are it's free to attend, unlike a Taylor Swift concert. Take a class, get creative yourself. Check out your local library's offerings, they have so much more going on than just book loans, but while you're there, they also have free physical media loans. Book a professional photoshoot just because, it helps with visualizing your best self. Find a hole in the community that you can fill and volunteer to do just that. How does this benefit you? You look cool AF because you're wearing accessories no one else has. You're getting out of the house, and meeting people you otherwise wouldn't encounter in other circles of your life. Live music and theater hits different than pre-recorded stuff on a screen. Not that film and television isn't valid art, but live art needs support, too. And all humans are creative, and need to express that. Substituting the social media doomscroll with actual social interaction is good for the psyche. I know I keep saying that spirituality is all part of this, and how it's part of this for you is up to you. For me, I got deeper into personal energy work, and that led me deeper into Hinduism, which I wouldn't claim as my religion, but I am working with Hindu deities in the framework of chakra activation. I don't expect everyone or anyone else to do that, but it's hard to not consider your personal flavor of spirituality more as you're considering your place in the universe if you're not here to blindly consume for The Man. I've been a tarot card reader for 25+ years now, and one of the most common life dilemmas I've heard over the years is "I'm miserable in my high-paying position, and I know I would be so much happier in this lower-paid position, but I don't know how to take the hit to my finances." May I suggest decolonization? You're cooking for yourself, which means simple food with ingredients you choose yourself that don't cost your firstborn son. You're using just a few simple, inexpensive body care products that you can't hoard, saving money and space. You're curating a personal style with a mix-and-match wardrobe that encourages re-wearing favorite pieces and incorporating unique art as accessories. You're getting out into the community and enjoying and supporting live art and entertainment, as well as your local library and physical media. The community is benefiting from your volunteer hours, and general human presence. Your health is benefiting from better food and personal care products, less time online, and more time asleep, which means far more energy to do things you actually enjoy and that actually matter to you. You're living authentically, and frugally enough that you can take a step down in pay or hours without hurting your bottom line. Your newly reclaimed time and frugality means you can prioritize experiences, like travel. You are thoroughly sticking it to The Man. This is the most effective way to do so, actually. Congratulations, you're an interesting person with lots to talk about now. And yes, when you further extrapolate this concept out, it takes you to lifestyles outside of the "mainstream," like asexuality, and the role and contributions of the un-partnered and childfree people in society. Or polyamory, and recognition of the complicated ways that feelings manifest in people, regardless of concepts of "monogamy" for clear inheritance lines. Or of transgender people, and how society can sanction and affirm gender changes and gender questioning in safe ways. Or of multi-generational and communal living, to provide combined financial stability and solve problems like child or elder care, or household maintenance, that would otherwise have to be hired out at great cost. If I were to sum this up college essay style, I would say breaking up with capitalism, changing your habits from the most personal to the most public with a focus on bypassing consumerism and overconsumption, and connecting with community is a huge personal undertaking that can not only change you, but the whole world. Does this sound trite as hell? Absolutely. But if you've read this far, I think I've made a convincing argument that you can live a very fulfilling and meaningful life, and on a shoestring budget, by re-thinking and re-routing where your time, energy, and money is going. If nothing else, you are happier and healthier. Best case scenario, we change the world for the better, together.

Behold, my new "easy food" - super soft pita bread made with my white bean protein bread dough, hummus with added lemon zest, roasted garlic, thyme, and sumac, and raw lentil sprouts from my own windowsill. That's a grand total of THREE BEANS in ONE SANDWICH. We're having fun brainstorming other spreads, and veggies to add in. And I have an array of legumes in my pantry to sprout. Notice I cut my pita in half before I even started building the sandwich... I can't eat THAT much! When I was a tween, my favorite quick snack/meal was to toast a commercially made pita pocket, and stuff it with salad mix, shredded cheese, and ranch dressing. This feels like the more elevated, adult version of that. My other childhood go-to snack was "matzah pizza," my family's attempt at fusion cuisine, where we topped a sheet of Manischewitz matzah bread with pre-made pizza sauce and cheese, and placed it in the toaster oven to make a crispy, thin crust pizza. Today's elevated and allergy friendly version would involve my pumpkin sauce and either goat cheese or Daiya shreds, so, again. Adult, and all that. But anyway, as I told my mother today, the sprout wraps are completely plant based, easy to put together with foods that are easy to make from scratch, utilize cheap to obtain ingredients, and provide maximum nutrition for a single meal. My very "this is what my stomach can handle for food first thing, nothing else" autistically repeating daily breakfast is dairy-free plain yogurt with ground flax seed and raw, local honey. My repeating daily lunch may be a sprout wrap starting today. Don't ask me to be culinarily adventurous until at least 4PM from here on out 😅😅 Oh, and for the "it's too expensive to eat healthy food" crowd, I pulled out my calculator. You can get four batches of 16 pita from 5lbs of bread flour, which costs $15. That's 24 cents of flour per pita. One can of cannellini beans is 83 cents. One pack of yeast (sold in a pack of 3) is 63 cents. There's 40 cents of olive oil per 16 pita, so, 2 and a half cents of olive oil per pita. It's $1.92 for 72 tablespoons of brown sugar, and I use 2 tablespoons per 16 pita, so... yeah. About the same for salt. Roughly 38 cents per pita, total. A good 4 cups of sprouted lentils costs 78 cents. Even if you splurge and buy your hummus pre-made, it's $2.85 for a 10oz tub at Aldi. That's a filling, nutritionally balanced, low-cal meal for about 50 cents.

If recent forays into my genealogy have taught me anything, it's that I'm descended from multiple continents worth of ancient royal lines, no matter which branch of the family tree you shake, both sides. Me? I'm a disabled Michigander with no money to my name. I have decided that location, time period, and circumstances be damned, I'm just as much of an ancient queen as my ancestresses, and I'm going to act like it. See, I studied archaeology in college, I know what the quality of life was for ancient queens, and I know I can replicate it within my modern means. It simply means rejecting modern standards, and going back to ancient wisdom. Where applicable! I'm writing this as I've been unusually inconsistent with my prescription medications this week, and I'm rolling into suffering territory because of it. I'm not giving those up for the world. But when it comes to other things about my body... Ancient queens were eating lavish food - that was very minimally processed. I'm eating a lot of cuisine from France, Greece, Slavic regions, Africa, the Levant, India, and SE Asia. And yeah, I'm cooking it myself - I'm not ruling a kingdom at the moment, I have the time to do that. And the "lavish" part is the use of salt and spices, the food itself is very simple and nutritious. Now, I know full well that humans have been genetically modifying the flora and fauna on this planet to their benefit since we made friends with wolves. I am not saying I am against GMO's. I am saying that between industry farming practices, and genetic modification like "Roundup Ready" seeds to benefit industry farming, our food doesn't have the same nutrition as it did 5,000 years ago. Which means strategic daily nutritional supplementation is important to enjoy the same level of health and energy as an ancient queen had to rule her kingdom with. Same with rest. Joseph of the Technicolor Dream Coat fame was so beloved by Egypt because of his prophetic dreaming. He had to have lots of time and allowance to sleep to have those dreams. And Joseph may have been particularly talented as a prophet, but dreaming was considered an important time to commune with the gods for everyone, which meant everyone got plenty of rest. Now you see why modern society wants us all sleep deprived, and stuck in Mall World when we do sleep... A recognition of the spiritual in every aspect of the human experience. Which leads to prioritizing hygiene - both of the physical and spiritual form. Often at the same time - a hot bath with Epsom salt and Dettol does a whole lot all at once. So does a good scalp oiling with a rosemary infused olive oil - "thou anoint my head with oil, my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever" (Psalm 23, if you're somehow unfamiliar). Anyone with the Clair's to be able to visualize the crown chakra knows it looks kinda like a big, white martini glass to catch the Universal Energy and funnel it into your spine, so it's pretty obvious we're talking about scalp oiling aiding in opening the crown chakra here, and strengthening your direct connection to the God source. Plus, it makes your hair grow like a weed, and thicken up like whoa. But if you oil your scalp, you have to cleanse it properly, too, you can't just layer a new layer of oil over an old one, that'll clog your hair follicles. And that takes a more targeted cleanse than a standard shampoo, which I use a combo of African Black Soap and Kojic Acid Soap to maintain. Those are also the soaps I use, along with an African Net Sponge, to maintain the rest of my body hygiene. It's a very inexpensive and low-packaging shower routine. Which is important because a queen can't succumb to the vanity of only considering herself, everything she does should consider the health of the community, and that means her impact on the environment. This is where veiling comes in, too - I have always wanted long princess hair, and have never been able to achieve it, and if keeping my hair wrapped in silk all day will help me achieve my goal, and will also symbolically protect my hair and crown chakra from evil eye energy? How luxurious is that? I'm in. Remember, head wraps can be sprayed with Florida Water and adorned with protective stones and symbols, too. There's your crown, queen. No need for some useless tiara when you have a lovingly maintained and protected direct connection to the Universal God Source. As for veiling the rest of my form, I'm clothing myself in styles and fabrics I feel are both comfortable, and reflect my personal style. I've always given a damn about how I present myself publicly, and made sure that I was dressed appropriately and stylishly for any occasion I was in. Nowadays, I'm doing that with an eye towards natural fabrics. Not that I'm going to give up my Adidas track pants or acrylic sweaters any time soon, but I'm prioritizing silks, linens, hemp, and higher-quality cotton if possible. Wools and real down are unfortunately off the table for me thanks to allergies, but the plant fibers (and worm butt fibers!) are all my friends. As for adornments, instead of "shiny expensive mass-produced metal bit," wearing jewelry designed by talented independent artists, using all kinds of materials, mostly chosen for their spiritual significance and use as well as beauty is a lot closer to what our royal ancient ancestors were doing than what Cartier or Jared are doing today. And you're supporting art in general, and an artist in your community by opting for independent jewelry over a mass-produced house or brand. I've always been a fan of perfumes and personal fragrance, and occasion and company specific, of course, I love wearing a good, strong scent. Definitely a personal preference, but mine is to smell delicious whenever I can. And that cycles back to personal physical care - Egypt deified the man who discovered oils and butters and compounds for skin health. And they're still very much available today - I just melted mangosteen seed butter, raw coconut oil, and olive oil together with Chebe powder to use as a hair sealant. This is not unlike what he was doing all those millennia ago. And I've already written multiple blog posts about how well that's been going for my hair growth, and how oils and butters are improving my wound and scar care, let alone how healthy my skin is layering single, nutritious ingredients over it instead of artificially-sourced ingredients in a drugstore lotion. Just like your internal diet, strive for feeding your skin minimally processed ingredients with optimal nutrition. And the results of all this royal treatment? Sovereignty and dignity. And an appreciation of true abundance over the modern, capitalistic concept of "wealth." This lifestyle doesn't require what we consider "wealth," which means it also doesn't require "hustle," it requires alignment with the God source in very literal ways, as well as an outward focus on community involvement and improvement, because direct alignment with the God source makes you see how that benefits you personally precisely because it benefits everyone.

I snapped this pic right before taking it down for my bath, hence the robe. I had tied it some six hours prior. No pins or rubber bands, just a couple of knots and some tucking. And I don't have an occipital ridge, it's hard for me to wear the circle kind of headbands without a hairstyle to hold it in place at the nape of my neck. Veiling in public started today. I took off my sleep bonnet and started to style my hair to go out to the grocery store, and then I was like "no, today is a head wrap day." So, I pulled out a Ukrainian scarf (might as well get as many points of ancestry in there as possible, right?), and copied one of the tutorials I've been watching over my mulberry silk lined, modal cotton outer beanie-style bonnet, which I could have stuffed for a taller wrap, but went just with my hair and the excess beanie material. Pretty impressive for fine hair, huh? I'm saving the tutorials I want to try in a public playlist, if anyone wants to check it out: I used the second wrap from this video for my wrap today: I also got the notification that my jersey hijabs are in the mail, hooray!! You may never see my hair in the wild again! In other hair news, I used up the yellow shea butter based chebe butter tonight, and promptly made a new batch with the kokum butter, so it has time to sit and solidify before my next treatment. This means I get to shake the jar every so often to keep the chebe from sitting at the bottom while it all hardens up again. And as for why I was out grocery shopping in the first place: Lentil sprouts were a rousing success, so I went out to pick up some mung beans and chickpeas to sprout next. Munching on sprouts and sea salt is going to be my new popcorn, I can feel it... And for something completely random, my grandmother announced today that her parents, my great-grandparents, were Freemasons their entire lives. She never thought anything of it, it was a lovely social club for both of them. Good grief.

Not only did we just have a whole night of some severe thunderstorms the other night, today the trees and scrub underbrush all have that green aura before it starts to bud out. And we don't tap our sugar maples, but you can tell the sap is flowing considering the big red buds they're sprouting right now. We likely have one more good snow storm coming off of Lake Michigan before it's really spring, but Persephone is definitely back topside. I saw my allergist the other week, and I'm stocked up on my nasal spray, I'm ready for the flowers! You want to kill a whole season? Have major surgery at the very beginning, and spend half of it on Oxy. I'm sitting here like "damn, summer event calendars are about to drop, I need to start getting with people and making plans..." while we're just coming out of the "is it late November or early March?" weather vibe, and I'm still not sure if I'm recipe prepping for Thanksgiving or grill season because that was a blip on the surgery timeline last year. The spring-ness is being emphasized by my main entertainment today being watching a jar of lentils sprout. "Riveting," I'm sure you're thinking, but this is just 78 cents of Aldi green lentils that started sprouting pretty much the minute they were hydrated and saw sunlight. This is fun to watch! And I'm going to have Buddha bowls for dinner once they have lil bb leaves! The birds are starting to come back up north, too, and it's blowing the cats' minds. This is Penelope and Milosh at the end of my bed as I write this post: The bird can and can't be seen in-between the branches of the shrub in the top right window frame. Bird is much clearer here. Milosh is obsessed. In more warm weather news, the bikini I ordered arrived today! Now, any physical stress triggers a migraine for me, and that includes ANY sunburn. 3% of my body? Migraine until the burn heals. So, I wear full-length UPF50 compression leggings, a full-sleeved UPF50 hoodie, and water shoes to swim. I am absolutely appropriate for a public beach in a Muslim country. But, you need to wear "underwear" underneath for support, and ease of switching out of wet bathing clothes to dry, not appropriate for the Dubai mall but totally appropriate for any Michigan coastal area "town clothes." Besides, the extreme UV protection is unneeded in an indoor hot tub, or at midnight. I am so ready for this.