I live in an area in America that was settled very heavily by immigrants, and is still being settled very heavily because the area is very religious, so we have a prominent refugee resettlement ministry in the area. This is how I can live in a C-tier northern Midwestern city and have access to grocery stores catering to just about any culture. I, myself, was generally raised in the white, blue-collar enclave of all of this, which meant I grew up in the thick of the European American Diaspora. Let me explain... A big argument surrounding "good" immigrants and "bad" immigrants is that the "good" immigrants "assimilate" to the American Way of Life - they learn English, give up any cultural customs that might be seen as "un-American," etc... Then, tell me why I grew up knowing functional Polish words and phrases? I'm not even Polish, and I've never been to Poland, I picked it up at overnights with Polish-American friends. And they weren't even FOBs, it was their great-grandparents who immigrated. Doesn't matter, I can toast in Polish at a wedding with the rest of them. The city's Polish Heritage Society hosts two annual festivals celebrating Polish culture and the contributions of Polish-Americans to both American and Polish history. One is the biggest bar hop you have ever seen, so don't tell me it's all harmless because it's European. Here's where this becomes truly interesting to me - I recently got into an online discussion with a few people from Poland regarding the "What I Eat In A Day" video posted by an American woman calling herself "That Polish Mama." For the record, internet handles like that are common among Polish-Americans. Polish-Americans are taught to take a lot of pride in their Polish heritage, including normalized outward displays. My next-door neighbors don't fly an American flag and do fly a Polish flag. I have my own "Pulaski T-shirt" for blending in purposes, the "Polish Halls" (think like an American Legion or Elks Lodge, but you have to have verified Polish heritage to join. They open to the public for Pulaski Days) sell them as fundraisers and compete for the most clever design, always in red. Anyway, this was clearly the first introduction to Polish-American culture these Polish nationals had ever encountered, and they were flabbergasted. Like I said, we are not talking about FOBs here. These are second to fourth generation Americans, they are fully assimilated to the American Way of Life. We Americans understand this. We have the internet, we know Polish nationals, we know it's a totally different culture over there. But the Polish nationals don't seem to have a wide awareness of Polish-American culture. Irish-American culture is very similar, and the Irish nationals did seem to catch on a few years back, and they were BIG MAD about how their American cousins were portraying Irish culture. My dudes, you are witnessing what happens when a culture breaks off from the main branch, integrates with another culture (in both of these cases, American Capitalism), and takes on its own evolutionary path. They're not representing Irish culture. They're representing Irish-American culture. And if it feels like an offensive caricature, you can blame the influence of American Capitalism for that. They REALLY hate the American tourists claiming Irishness through ancestry, not culture. But those ancestral claims are the tip of the iceberg of Irish-American culture. Irish-American culture is no more than 300 years old, and didn't really ramp up until 174 years ago. And it's evolving on foreign soil, disconnected from Ireland itself. Some of it got fully disconnected and evolved into its own unique thing, namely in the Appalachian area. Some of it kept up tenuous connections by correspondence with family, and more recent immigrants bringing more current cultural developments from Ireland. Otherwise, the connection to Ireland is frozen in the 1850's, been kept alive within families and local communities, and has independently evolved from there. They know they're American. They're saying that they're a cousin from the diaspora. They're just using very American terminology to do it. Going back to the case of "That Polish Mama," her WIEIAD was the Standard American Diet, and her physique reflected that. The Polish nationals wondered how she could even eat like that in Poland (as in, the foods aren't even generally available, nor are they regularly eaten), and why she hadn't been bullied into an ED yet. It then blew their mind that she would call herself "Polish" as an American national. I kinda want to fly them over for Pulaski Days sometime. It's... not nearly this sedate. And there's a lot more accordion. Also, that aforementioned Anthropology degree happened 17 years ago, as of six days ago. And boy does that song take me back to said college days, damn.

After 10 years on them, my hip surgeon took me off my continuous low dose birth control six weeks before surgery this past December, and I never went back on them after that. So, I'm approaching the six month mark without The Pill. Prior to being sent over to orthopedics for my hip, I was sent to a pelvic floor therapist, who put me on Benefiber for my digestive and high cholesterol issues. I took Benefiber for a few months, until I realized there were cheaper, easier ways to boost my fiber intake. Ground flax seeds have been a staple of my pantry since my allergy diagnoses, because I use them as a binder in my baked goods and loaf/patty/balls kind of food situations in place of eggs. But my pelvic floor therapist mentioned in passing (pun not intended, but heh) that a number of her patients like stirring ground flax seeds into their yogurt into the morning. Oh? My breakfast every day since then had been 1/3 cup dairy-free plain coconut yogurt for the probiotics, 2 tablespoons of ground flax seeds for the prebiotics, and a teaspoon of either raw honey for more probiotics, or grade B maple syrup for the minerals. It's somewhere around 230 calories total, and heavy on the good fat, protein, and fiber, as well as Omega 3's, iron, and potassium. My go-to bedtime snack has been the same amount of flax seed stirred into the same amount of cinnamon applesauce. It's the easiest apple crisp ever. It's also very filling - I'm sure everyone's seen flaxseed gel before. This might be the best diet hack I've found so far. The other thing about flax? It's phytoestrogenic. That means that it's a plant source of estrogen. Now, I've talked to people on Reddit's Perimenopause forum who have had very bad experiences with the phytoestrogens in flax seed. I myself had lipidema issues for decades thanks to an un-fermented soy heavy diet in puberty when I had a soy allergy. If you have a seed allergy, or an existing estrogen imbalance, don't think this will work exactly like it works for me. As with all health things, talk to your doctor and nutritionist and all that. And I highly recommend allergy testing for everyone. But for me? August will be the true test, but I'm not sweating like I used to. I... may be able to skip HRT?? 🤞🏼🤞🏼 I believe August is also the next time I see my PCP and have blood work done, and I'm actually excited to see my cholesterol numbers this time!

It's been the customary two days since my last hair wash and hot chebe butter treatment, which is when I used up the last of my customary coffee & rosemary infused olive & papaya scalp oil. Have I had a full 48 hours to do something that takes maybe a half-hour of hands-on work? Yep. Did I do it? Nope. So, I got out of the bath with a freshly scrubbed scalp, stood there butt naked and dripping wet, and concocted something to put on my scalp based on what was in the linen cabinet (where we store 0 linens and all the lotions and potions). This is what I ended up putting in my application bottle. It's enough for 3 or 4 applications, so I'll be able to give it a good try and see if I like it as well as my oil blend. Why? Because I'm not 100% sure what a standard application looks like, volume-wise, I just have a pattern I apply the stuff in, so I kinda just added what I thought I needed 😅😅 I'll give you my thought process behind why I included each ingredient, too. 1 oz vegetable glycerine. The base. A humectant, same as the oils, but not as heavy. 1 tsp full spectrum Vitamin E oil. The same stuff I use on my face. if my face loves it, my scalp will too, right? 8 pumps hyaluronic acid serum. same reasoning as above. Suck all that good post-wash moisture into my scalp and hair follicles, along with the yummy stuff I'm including in the mix. 20 drops lavender essential oil. for the anti-inflammatory properties and high lavender vibes around the crown chakra. 12 drops frankincense oil. same as the lavender, though the vibes are more crystal. Shake all this up well - it emulsifies together very easily, and apply to your scalp using your favorite application method to get past your hair to the skin below (I use a six-prong application bottle). Then, give your scalp a good massage to make sure you have even coverage across your scalp, and that the product is worked into the skin (plus, it stimulates the hair follicles!). Initial impressions? Definitely very light, I probably over-applied expecting the feel of the oil on my scalp as I'm working the product in with my fingertips. And definitely very lavender-y, taking the plastic bag wrap off my head after my post-chebe application heat bonnet time smelled like a lavender field in August. So, that's what it's like. Putting things off to your own detriment, but in a way that forces creativity and innovation. While I'm on the topic of hair, you may have seen my recent post about how I've been updating my Amazon lists today. While I get most of my head wrap supplies (including the scarves themselves) from Modest Behaviour, there are a few things from Amazon I do also purchase, and I went ahead and made a list of mulberry silk hair protection products, as well as a few other hair items I use, including the ingredients for my chebe butter and the above scalp moisturizer. Feel free to shop my list for yourself!

Original meme by moi, who is old enough to remember when Netflix listed The Babadook in the Pride section in 2017, and the meme became "The B in LGBT is for Babadook," which then led to accusations of bi erasure... and I also remember the "Pride Month Demon" meme of 2021, and seem to have been the only person to have put 2 & 2 together. I had my friend put it on a t-shirt for me, and that is how you will know me at Pride. My birthday is June 4! That's just one month and one day away! I have complicated emotions towards my birthdays, especially as an adult, especially as a queer adult with a birthday in June. I usually prefer to try to keep my birthdays quiet, but all these things are coinciding and I find myself planning an actual birthday celebration this year, wish me luck 🧿🤞🏼 I also find myself wanting to stretch my last year of Medicaid with a discounted Amazon Prime membership, because there are some things I just can't get other than there. And since I'm already there for renewal purposes, and since my birthday is only a month away now, I thought I'd update my gift lists: Buy Me Cooking Stuff! Buy Me Jewelry! Buy Me Perfume! Buy Me Physical Media! And if you'd rather send a gift to me through Ko-fi, I'm there at: https://ko-fi.com/yrauntie I'm honestly unused to receiving birthday gifts from anyone but my parents (this ain't my first recession, after all), so no expectations here. But if you feel like you want to treat me a little for my 44th, I would appreciate it ❤️

Call me naive, but when I figured out about how fast my hair was growing last fall, I figured it would just gain an inch, inch and a half each month and, you know… grow. Accumulate length. All of that. I didn’t realize different parts would grow at different times, and some months would focus more on density than length, and all that jazz 😅😅 I feel like I’ve been stuck at the same general length forever, but the sides especially have been growing pretty rapidly, the back just seems to have stopped to let it catch up. I’m definitely amending my length goal for the year, at this point, I think bra strap length is realistic. In headwrapping news, I now have everything I need to headwrap on a daily basis… except go-to wrap styles. Turns out freestyling as a beginner is not easy at all, so May’s project is to hit the tutorial playlist hard and come up with 2-3 wrap methods that can become signature looks for me. Also, don’t tie your wrap too tight, the knot can leave a bruise 😅😅 And, the results! Again, no dye, just my three-pronged method on virgin, slightly salted hair: Internal: food allergen free diet, hydration with liquid mineral & B Vitamins electrolyte supplement, supplementation with Bovine Collagen, Vitamin C, Iron, Omega 3-6-9 fatty acids. Scalp: cleanse with kojic acid soap, massage with coffee & rosemary-infused olive and papaya oil. Strands: condition with leave-in cream conditioner on wet hair, seal with chebe butter and a heat bonnet treatment. No hairdryer, no heat styling. Mulberry silk sleep bonnets, scrunchies, and wig caps under headwraps. April 2026: And to compare, March 2026: February 2026: And where I started... Like I said, I've added a good 3-5" in length already, just not evenly all over, or in a way where it looks longer. And boy is it thickening up! And darkening up, which is so weird to me, since it still looks quite salted to me in the mirror.

CW: many specific mental health issues, neurodivergence, chronic illness. Auntie Lore time! You already know I'm late diagnosed AuDHD with all the things that go along with multiple neurodivergence, like rejection sensitive dysphoria, dyscalculia, internal hyperactivity, hyperlexia, hyperverbalism, hyperfixation, dyspraxia, fissure and synesthesia, chronic insomnia, weak digestion, joint hypermobility... What does this mean, practically? Internal hyperactivity + the constant influx of information from the hyperlexia + rejection sensitive dysphoria = severe anxiety, that turned into OCD and violent intrusive thoughts by around 7th grade, and a panic disorder by college. I tried cutting briefly around the time the intrusive thoughts started, but quickly discovered the payoff was miniscule compared to the pain and healing time. I've had suicidal ideation, but never attempted... I knew full well I'd regret it either way, so those stayed intrusive thoughts and nothing more. Hyperfixation + hyperlexia + hyperverbalism + dyscalculia + dyspraxia + rejection sensitive dysphoria + obvious stims = intense bullying, from peers and school staff. And if you think I'm exaggerating, my father ran into my elementary school principal just last year, and his response was "I'm surprised you'll talk to me after what I did to your daughter." That wasn't the only external influence on my mental health. For instance: Hyperfixation on the Holocaust as a person of Jewish, ethnic Ukrainian, & Romani descent + internal hyperactivity + hyperlexia + being raised in an "End Times" cult, that not only restricted your diet and activities, but preached that we were actively living out the Book of Revelations and that believers needed to know survival skills for the times of persecution = massive religious and cultural trauma, contributing to the anxiety, OCD, and intrusive thoughts, as well as severe depression. And I did this all without a lick of psychological care, because it was the 80's and 90's, I was a girl, and as far as my parents were concerned, mental healthcare was lobotomies and shock treatment, nothing they wanted to subject their child to. Not to mention, that was during the Adderall over-prescription epidemic, and my parents weren't about to put their daughter on "child crack." Did this contribute to my disabilities as an adult? My Fibromyalgia specialist confirmed it's all the root of my fibro/central sensitization disorder, aka without the CPTSD I wouldn't have the condition at all. The good news is, when I did finally get into a psychologist's office, I was graduated out very quickly, because I had somehow developed healthy coping skills on my own. I know this is rare, and I'm lucky. Which is why I signed up for Monte Mader's Move For You Challenge, which is a fundraiser for To Write Love On Her Arms, an organization that's been providing gap mental health services for a number of years now, I first learned of them when I was in college in the late 2000's. I've seen mental health resources in my area expand greatly in the years since they started, especially psych ER's and Urgent Care centers, and I believe it's TWLOHA's activism that lit the fire. The challenge is perfect for me: 10 minutes a day of movement for the month of May. Perfect timing, perfect challenge for me right now, as I'm to the point in surgery recovery where muscle building is needed. I'll be using the Greasing the Groove method I learned in Fibromyalgia Pain Clinic nine years ago now to do this, likely starting with leg pumps and squats, and moving on to some more focused core work once I have those locked in. And yeah, it's a fundraiser for TWLOHA, here's my personal donation link: https://www.gofundme.com/f/10-minutes-for-hope-move-with-me-62rky?utm_campaign=fp_sharesheet&utm_content=amp17_tc-amp20_t1&utm_medium=customer&utm_source=copy_link&lang=en_US&ts=1777301650 I do my 10+ minutes per day, you support me/TWLOHA with a donation, everyone's health improves all around! Even better, commit yourself to your own fundraiser and 10 minutes of movement a day for May, you'll only feel better by the end of the month!

CW: gun violence, political violence. I know it's all I seem to write about nowadays, but I'm fucking pissed that a disabled woman is considered more of a threat to the American Way of Life for coordinating the re-distribution of needed community resources than a radicalized incel with a high-powered firearm. I refuse to believe that hatred and gun violence is more American than community organization. Logically, I know it's true, but I also know it's wrong. This is not how it was supposed to be, in any human culture. One of those things I was taught in what I have of course come to realize was a propaganda-filled childhood is that you should "be the change you wish to see in the world." I wish to see community resources used and distributed ethically and responsibly. So, I'm going to keep putting clothing swaps on. Hell, I might even plan other stuff swaps. I've been wanting to do a kitchen appliance swap for awhile now... You're probably saying "why don't you just move to Europe or China or Canada and be done with it?" It's virtually impossible to be a disabled American expat. It takes significant money to move out of the country, and visas are usually determined on your ability to work. No one wants to take on someone who will draw from a system they'll never be able to pay into. So, unless I qualify for political asylum at some point (for organizing a FUCKING CLOTHING SWAP), this is where I am. Besides, I'm William Bradford's granddaughter. Take it farther down the same line, I have Cherokee grandparents. Black Cherokee. Black Cherokee Freemasons. This is my country. I'm the culmination of the people who built this country from every way you look at it, I'm not about to abandon ship because people got selfish and greedy and refused to course correct when they needed to. This also means that my people have been here for too long on all sides to qualify for any birthright return policies. With the exception of Ukraine, so that's not happening. Anyway, said clothing swap has now grown to the point where we have expenses, not huge expenses, but expenses we organizers can't cover on our own as-is. So, I'll be turning essays from this blog, and recipes from Auntie's Allergy-Free Eats into zines to sell at the swaps as a fundraiser. I think volume one will be a collection of my essays on decolonization and anti-capitalism and the reclamation of body image, and call it "The Auntie American Manifesto" 😄 🇺🇸 I think I've found my superhero alter ego. Auntie American. Bionic Woman, uses her super-sharp tongue to verbally castrate arrogant men and their Karen girlfriends, does not run thanks to the autism, is followed by a small army of battle cats, and doesn't need a cover story - the superpower is the day job, organizing a functioning community. Here to save America from the bad guys trying to keep us divided and in a lack mentality 💪🏼💪🏼 I don't fly, don't you dare Edna Mode me about this.

That semi-annual clothing swap that has me on a few US government watchlists for being "anti-American" was three days ago now, and I've been working on laundry and stain treating and mending and tailoring since. So, I've been thinking about my wardrobe a lot, and thought I'd share how I built mine for style and function, since it is a learned skill. I learned the ropes from working the cool art museum job with a bunch of fashionistas at the same time that Pinterest debuted. And I built my wardrobe through thrifting, clothing swaps and "free markets," and shopping off-season clearance racks and with store loyalty points, because the best find for the least amount of money is my favorite ADHD dopamine hit game. Why is this such an anti-American activity? This is actively battling overconsumption. Whether you're wearing secondhand or buying brand new, you won't buy things you can't wear when you understand your life and style. You'll know what you're actually looking for, not just what the trending aesthetics are. And you'll have what you need to wear things properly, so you'll actually want to wear them. Not to mention, you're building a mindful wardrobe, so you don't have to buy something new that you'll only wear once every time a new event comes up. This means you'll look like an it girl, keep your money in your pocket, and keep clothing out of the landfill. All things that fully disrupt the capitalist system. They need you to stay insecure and confused, and willing to spend your money about it. So, how does one go about this wardrobe building? Know what looks good on you. Know your skin tone and the colors that look best with it. Know your body shape, and the clothing cuts and silhouettes that balance and flatter it. And keep up with your body measurements. Have a wardrobe of undergarments selected for their practicality, not their sexiness. If you have breasts, know your bra size, and purchase your bras for functionality with your outerwear - strapless, racer back/plunge, smooth flesh-toned, etc. For bottoms, consider whether your pants are mostly high, mid, or low-waisted, visible panty lines, solid flesh-toned vs. fun colors and patterns, inner thigh chafing, compatibility with your menstrual products, if you need any kind of functional support, etc. You can have sexy stuff too, of course, just make sure you prioritize the practical pieces. Have a wardrobe of shoes and accessories. Both of these expand the looks you can get out of your wardrobe, and make a lot of pieces even more versatile to wear. I even keep a wardrobe of prescription glasses and sunglasses, thanks to Zenni Optical (not sponsored). And a wardrobe of canes to coordinate with my outfits. Consider what your clothes are made of. Personally, I'm allergic to all animal materials but leather and silk - wool, angora, down, and cashmere are all no-go's for me, even in small amounts. And I have the perimenopause + spinal cord injury sweats, so whatever I wear had better be breathable and quick-drying. Because of that, my wardrobe is about 85% plant fibers, and 15% synthetic performance material (especially UPF material). Consider where you wear your clothes. Home. Your MuuMuus, house dresses, pajama pants, oversized tees, etc. Athletic & outdoors wear. Work. Even if your job is the kind of place where you can wear jeans and a t-shirt, you're not going to want to wear your favorite jeans and tees to a place where you'll just crap them out. Otherwise, uniformed workers need uniform pieces, corporate workers need a business casual wardrobe and one nice interview outfit, and executives need a few suits, preferably the kind that can be mixed-and-matched for some variety. So you're disabled, or a stay at home parent? These would be the clothes you wear out to shopping trips, doctor's appointments, hair and nail appointments, school drop off/pick ups, volunteer shifts, board meetings... nicer than your home clothes, easy to put on and wear, usually somewhere between athleisure and business casual. Going out. This is usually where people don't know what to do with themselves, mostly because it's a broad category that encompasses a few dress codes. Consider occasions and pieces like: Church, a casual day date, or bridal/baby shower: this is where something like a milkmaid dress would be appropriate. Too casual for corporate, too impractical for home wear, fully out of place in the club. Your nephew's 5th birthday party. Look, I know I'm an asexual geek, but considering the guest of honor is five, you should be dressing as the cool aunt there for a kid's birthday, not the sexy aunt there to troll for men. Try a graphic tee with a franchise the nibling would like, or wear a Ms. Frizzle dress. If the love of your life is there, they'll likely be more impressed with how good you are with kids, and how you're not afraid to be fun. A little black dress: wardrobe staple for a reason, can go from a New Years Eve party to a funeral... just please make sure it's a modest one if you only have one, for that funeral use. A cocktail dress with color. You will be invited to a wedding. Unless the bride specifically requests you to, you cannot wear white or black. If purchased strategically, can be paired with a blazer for that interview outfit. The Clerb. Fun fact - you can get a whole lot of mileage out of one bodycon dress, and the right accessories. Especially when everyone is getting drunk and won't remember what you were wearing, anyway, just that you looked bangin' in it. The major concert tour stop: a person with a developed sense of personal style and a curated wardrobe doesn't need to buy a fast fashion costume for a single evening, and then inflict the Goodwill with it the next day. Whether you're into Nashville, Outlaw, or Roots Revival, invest in a good pair of western boots and a pair of well-fitting Wranglers. Regardless of whether your mosh pit is punk or metal, if your boots aren't coming from the Army-Navy Surplus, at least get them from Doc Marten. And if you're a pop princess, I have a collection of swapped or thrifted sequined garments that keep me looking like a disco ball in any party circumstance. Music scenes birth fashion, and if you're enough of a genre fan to drop hundreds of dollars on a concert ticket, you're enough of a genre fan to want to wear the look regularly. So, buy the real thing, not a costume. Wear it to the next concert, too, look like you're about the life. Study the art of mixing and matching. If you started with your color typing, and stuck with your colors, you've likely assembled a wardrobe in a complementary color palette with all your best neutrals and colors represented. This means you can wear everything in your closet with everything else. And since all of your tops can be worn with all of your bottoms, you can create hundreds of unique looks with the same handful of pieces. My method for doing this is very passive - I leave my closet doors open. It makes a good visual point for staring off into space to collect my thoughts, and as I do that, my eyes will start to match colors and patterns, and I'll put outfits together almost subconsciously. Nikko with The Body Type Blueprint is more active in his approach, he takes one garment and scans the rack with it to catch any color matches or pairings that jump out to the eye. I've also seen closet Lookbook apps that help with this kind of visualization and outfit building, but I haven't personally used any. Hardcore interact with your closet regularly. I have the benefit of both a semi-annual clothing swap to constantly prepare for, as well as four distinct seasons to dress for, so my closet requires some regular shifting around. If you don't have that kind of reason to go through your clothes for a regular try-on, try to make one at least twice a year. Follow the trends... but only for fresh inspiration on how to use what's already in your closet, or what to look for when you're swapping or shopping. Remember, trends aren't to be followed, they're to be engaged with. You're allowed, encouraged even to put your unique spin on a trend. You're also allowed to completely ignore any trend that doesn't work for you. You're also allowed to keep wearing anything that has gone off-trend, if you still love it. Just make sure you're giving new shapes and fits a try-on before making your final determination on whether it's for you or not. A reminder that shopping is not a hobby, and consumables are not collectables. That includes throwaway fashion with one intended wear that isn't a wedding dress. You don't have to put hundreds into luxury investment pieces, but at least fill your wardrobe with durable garments that you can and plan to wear for a few years. On modesty: I'm a middle aged asexual, as far as I'm concerned, my body is purely a source of personal expression, and nothing about it needs to be hidden because of shame. But we wear clothing first and foremost to protect the physical and energetic bodies. And that requires material coverage. Consider dressing like you're covered in tattoos you want to keep from UV exposure. There's also respect to consider. I'm writing this about a month after Rodeo Houston (which I attended in 2015 wearing Capri pants and a sweatshirt) had to put a dress code in place, after many people showed up to a family event dressed like they're ready to go on stage at the strip joint on the outskirts of town. Now, I have nothing but respect for strippers and their athleticism, and the strippers I know would never wear their work clothes to a family event. The ability to dress correctly for the situation shows that you have emotional intelligence. I have 304 clothes, too - and I wear them to 21+ events. Otherwise, there's no such thing as "too covered up." Anyone who tries to tell you there is, is likely a man who both wants to take advantage of you for his own gratification, and who wants you vulnerable. We don't dress for them. You can look cute - sexy, even! - while still dressing appropriately for the occasion and the company if your style shows confidence in yourself. And I can't believe this needs to be said, but the "Office Siren" aesthetic is fetishwear. It's just as inappropriate as wearing a gimp suit to the office. That is not an exaggeration, it's a direct comparison. Time and place, people. Formal wear for non-celebrities: A few weeks ago, an up-and-coming influencer went viral for making a video talking about how she was invited to her first red carpet event since moving to LA, and how when she went to the mall to shop for the event, the only formalwear available was clearly designed for prom and quinceanera wear, not a red carpet. That's because those are the kinds of formalwear the usual mall store sells. Because that's the mall's clientele. Zendaya is not going to the mall to find her dress for the Oscars. Hell, even bridesmaids in Bumfuck, Iowa know to go to David's Bridal or America's Bride for age-appropriate formal gowns. If you are a grown-ass woman looking to shine at a formal event and you don't have major designers wanting to dress you, you have four options: Thrift 'em when you find 'em, and keep them in reserve for formal event invitations. Go to a bridal boutique and shop the bridesmaid dress selection. Go to your local fashion school, and see if there are any students looking to do a project dress. Go to a small designer and ask for a quote for couture, or check out their existing collections.

Me: "Better political analysts than I are talking about the current problems, I'd rather focus my blog on workable personal solutions." The Universe: "Girl, it is 2026, and you're an American. Please." Go ahead. Considering that list, guess why I would be on an FBI watchlist or three? If you've read my About page, you'd probably point to my history as a 2016 Water Protector aka community organizer around water rights. That's definitely how I originally got myself on a few lists, but I had to give it up because of the Great Fibromyalgia Flare of 2018, and my health has just gone downhill from there. What in heavens name could I be doing with my very limited energy/spoons that would worry the current US government? You may also point to my continuing decolonization work, but beyond one blog essay, that's all been lived personal philosophy, I don't think I can be arrested for things like cooking my own food from scratch. The answer is in AuntieLinks. I organize a clothing swap. That's right, my coordinating the re-distribution of resources in the community, with my organizational partners being an amazing trans woman and her amazing wife, is anti-American behavior nowadays. So much for "with Liberty and Justice for All." I have been laughing about this all day. Of all the terrifying people out there, they're going to profile the crippled clothing swap auntie? It's easier than crying. Memorial Day is the next big American holiday, where we honor the soldiers who gave their lives to preserve our American way of life. I'm sure they would be very proud that their sacrifice is keeping our country safe from the horrors of *checks notes* ladies clothing swaps that welcome trans women. I'm sure the FBI agents sent to raid the home of a *checks notes* crippled cat lady living with a bunch of Trump voters are really going to feel like all that training and commitment they put into their careers was worth it for that one defining moment when they truly made the country a safer place. I'm sure the American Taxpayer couldn't think of anything more urgent to spend the money taken from their paychecks on than shutting down an *checks notes* Earth Day event promoting sustainability and environmental stewardship on a local, realistic scale for the everyday person to participate in. Which is why I'm sure the event will go off without a hitch, and so will the one in the fall, because what we're doing is as American as sticking your dick in an apple pie in a teen romcom, and what they're doing is... not very American of them. Go ahead, name something seditious that could possibly be done during a four hour clothing swap event twice per year that would justify an FBI raid using YOUR tax dollars paying YOUR federal agents to harass American citizens collecting charitable donations. And yet, my semi-annual ladies and theydies clothing swap meets all seven of the criteria listed above for "domestic terrorism." Proudly, by the way. We'd rather be on the right side of history, thanks. And we're going to be SO stylish while we are. I just... I'm well aware that the American Mythology is just that - a myth - but it's still so jarring when you're told you are so lucky to have been born in a place where you're "truly free" and can "do or be anything you want to be" at that young, impressionable brain development age by the right important people that whenever it's shoved into my face that my national identity, which was encouraged to be a big part of my personal identity, was all a gigantic, blatant lie told to kids who didn't know better and therefore couldn't prepare for the reality of their situation as it got worse and worse...

This isn't a political blog. Why? Because this is my blog, and I believe that our current political system is old, dying energy, and I would rather put my attention and energy towards the new, healthy system I want to see put in place when the old system finally gives up the ghost. It's not that I don't follow the politics, and vote/act accordingly, it's just that looking beyond the politics is my wheelhouse, and I'll leave the political commentary to the people who are actually good at it. I guess you could say I've been on a wellness journey my whole life, I was born into a Seventh-Day Adventist medical family who takes the Health Ministry to heart and soul. I spent my childhood devouring books on herbalism and nutritional supplementation. But I really went on my personal health journey starting in 2017, when my time at the Fibromyalgia Pain Clinic got me into strength training, which ended up exacerbating my joint hypermobility and osteoarthritis issues, to the point of multiple major surgeries. My journey led me to diagnoses of everything from food allergies to neurodivergence. If you follow this blog, you'll know that my personal approach to wellness has been holistic, and informed strongly by three things - my background in Anthropology and study of ancient and traditional lifeways, my lifelong spiritual journey, particularly in energy work, and my commitment to decolonizing my thought processes and daily habits. And my conclusion? Wellness is spiritual. Any time you're caring for your physical body, which is a manifestation of your soul, you're caring for your soul, too. And considering every last one of us is an expression of the Universal or God Source, striving for personal health from a place of pure love of self is a direct act of reverence and obedience to God. I'm coming to this conclusion as "wellness influencers" are using their content to funnel people into a certain political mindset. These people are using specific diet and exercise habits under the guise of health to signal their political beliefs, and make those beliefs look more desirable. How very Piscean Age of them. Now, consider this from my perspective: Spirituality is forever. Politics are very temporary. Spirituality is a force far bigger than any single person. Politics is man-made and headed by fallible, ego-driven humans with a deep, toxic need to control others. As far as I'm concerned, using the health of the human body, the soul's physical expression, the vehicle the soul uses to interface with our planet, to promote societal division in the name of politics is Golden Calf level blasphemy. At least everyone worshiping the Golden Calf were 100% aware and truthful about what they were doing. Many of these influencers drag Christianity into their brand. But religion has always been politics' way of controlling spiritual access, so no one is surprised there. Dear Reader, please know that I am no influencer, and anything I share about diet, exercise, or wellness in general has no ulterior motive. My wellness focus is purely on uniting my energy with the Universal Source, and keeping up the best vessel I can for my soul to use to fulfill its purpose here on Earth. And I'm not trying to proselytize my way of life, either. I'm just showing you how I did it, if you're wondering. Like all spiritual things, this is something you have to choose for yourself, because you want it. That's how personal sovreignty works.

I generally stretch my hair by sleeping with it in two cornrows before doing my length check pictures. But today was wash & chebe day, so my curls are out and down right now. This is at about 80% air dried, and my sleep bonnet hasn't absorbed the extra butter yet, so it's pretty drenched in product even if it's otherwise dry: I'd say 3A when my hair is heavy like this. It gets bigger and rounder and the curls get tighter the drier and lighter it gets, but not dramatically. But, I've definitely reached the "shoulder length when shrunk" phase of the grow-out! And this is where I need to start being extra careful with the ends...

This one's for my AFAB Millennials. And it has content warnings of pedophilia, human trafficking, torture, and eating disorders. The biggest conversation everywhere but on US media as I write this is The Epstein Files, particularly the early 2026 "info dump" that made it brutally obvious that Jeffrey Epstein, likely the literal Antichrist, known pedophile (among other things), controlled pop culture for girls and women for 30+ years. A lot of women are coming to terms with how men like Epstein, and Victoria's Secret owner Lex Wexner, had Millennials wearing words like "juicy" printed over their butts when they were 10 years old, and then heading straight in to get their crotches waxed bald once a month by 18 years old, at the latest. They're putting together where fashion and pop culture trends really originated from, and it has been a lot to unpack for a lot of women. Yeah. Feminists were unpacking the symptoms we were seeing of this in culture back in the day. Of course they called us "feminazis." Of course they purposefully mischaracterized feminist philosophy. They got ten extra years of selling and torturing children out of it. Anyway. Now that we know, we can do better as a whole. And as one of those fore-runners of stepping away from patriarchial pedo culture, I've done my personal unpacking and "the work," and I have some advice on how to move beyond what the creepy rich men want and understand what you want for yourself. First of all, the only person who gets to have a significant, actionable opinion about your body is you. It's definitely not your partner, especially if your partner is a cis man. People who aren't you can have an opinion, but their opinion is secondary to your opinion about your own body. You get to regard or disregard their opinion at your discretion. Body hair is usually where people start to deconstruct here. This doesn't mean you need to grow out a 70's style hairy muff if you don't want to... but this is your permission to grow it out if you've always wanted to, upcoming bikini season be damned. The beach will get whatever body you give it. If a guy deems you unfuckable for it - he didn't want to fuck you. And uncertain sexual relationships aren't the best idea right now, anyway, especially considering 40,000 people came out of spring break 2026 with STD's from Houston, TX alone, with one guy testing positive for literally every single STD they know of. Same with shaving or otherwise removing any body hair - if removing it makes you more comfortable, go for it. If it's always something that's irritated your skin and given you ingrown hairs, maybe consider letting it grow. Another thing to consider is your blonde hair. If you need to pay someone $250+ per month to maintain your hair color, it's not your natural color. You were blonde as a child because, unless you're a very specific kind of Scandinavian or Dutch, blonde is a child's hair color. Fun fact, there's this Romani genetic thing where every so often, a very towheaded, blue-eyed child is born. My dad and brother both got this quirk - my dad's eyes darkened but stayed blue, my brother's are as black as mine now. Both have black hair. Nobody would call them "natural blondes," they call them "towheaded children." Now, for what you put on your body, that's all you. And it's something you're going to need to do some work with, considering it's likely never been truly all you before - you've been told how to dress by men, for men your whole life. I recommend experimenting. Clothing swaps, and thrifting makes this a lot easier than just heading to the mall, especially if you're on a budget, and especially if you want to make damn sure your purchases aren't lining a trafficker's pocket. I started with wearing all the clothes I wanted to wear as a teenager, and couldn't, due to my body size (tall, heavy, and busty) and my family's conservatism. This included lingerie - yeah, I'm asexual, but I'm also a Taurus Venus and Libra Mars... if it's pretty, and lacy, and oozes sensualism, I'm going to want to participate, in my own way. And my own way was plus sized lingerie modeling for a few years. In my late 30's and early 40's. I was fat and middle aged, the exact opposite of what society tells me is sexy - freedom, baby! I'm gonna put my unsexy body in ALL the lace and murder widow robes, because I want to wear the shit out of that stuff and look and feel beautiful. For myself. Of course, we're all going through mass deconstruction of our body image while we're entering peri/menopause, perfect timing really - might as well treat this as second puberty! For me, I'm deconstructing as the hot flashes are ramping up, and frankly, hot flash preparation is the first thing I consider when I'm purchasing or swapping for summer clothing nowadays. Super light materials, as little polyester as possible, and proper underthings for off-shoulder, cropped, and sheer clothes (generally bandeau bras and flesh-toned underwear). And since I've lost so much weight, bundling up in the winter is priority, so like a good Michigander, I focus on interesting layers. I just got the wildest faux cheetah fur vest from Cracker Barrel, of all places... If this is the first time you've ever even considered your own style, I would recommend knowing your color season and your body type to start, and start exploring what kinds of clothes you genuinely like to wear, and feel comfortable and stylish and well-represented in. Speaking of weight, you're allowed to be a healthy weight. You don't have to be lean like a prepubescent child to attract a man, or obese to repel or arouse a man. You live in your body for you. And when you've taken back control of more aspects of yourself from the patriarchial, pedophiliac culture, you'll feel a lot more control in general, hopefully enough that you can loosen up your restrictive or binge eating. By the way, if you are living with an eating disorder, please seek treatment. Real treatment from a real person. The poison can run deep... and you'd haul your ass to the ER if you were bit by a rattlesnake, or ingested arsenic, there's certainly no shame in seeking medical treatment for deliberate mental poisoning by unethical people. This is where we also need to confront the fear of aging that's tied into to pedophilia culture. First of all, if I have learned anything in the past five years, it's that what you put in your body is more important than what you put on your skin, when it comes to your skin health. Your skin is your body's largest organ. It functions the best when all your other organs are functioning their best. Why? They're all organs. They all function together. Your skin is super absorbent, yes, but not as absorbent as your guts. If you're looking at 40, your skin will thank you a lot more for proper daily hydration with quality electrolytes (deep sea mineral sourced, not baking soda, potassium, and high fructose corn syrup sports drinks), a fiber rich diet sitting around 2K calories per day, depending on your body's needs, and collagen, vitamin c, vitamin d, and iron supplementation as your bloodwork dictates, than it will for regular Botox and fillers. On the outside? Prioritize sun protection, and use the simplest formulations of ingredients that are best for your unique skin. Again, this is about making our bodies comfortable vehicles to live in, not making them commodities for pedophiles to get rich on. And that means making our bodies healthy so we can go out and get shit done, and wearing whatever the fuck we want while we do it. Someone who's been doing an excellent job of deconstructing out loud - not only in her personal style, but in her public deconstruction content on TikTok and YouTube, is @KnittingCultLady, who you should check out if you want a regular voice about deconstruction from someone doing it in your feeds. I found early on that following the people doing the things you want to be doing is a great way to get into the energy of actually going out and doing it. Tell the algorithm what you want, with your purest intention behind it, and it can help you kick off a whole journey you never thought you could or would take. How do you think I discovered North African haircare? It wasn't talking to the Dutch-American farmers who live around me...