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Getting back to this topic from a couple of weeks ago , my friend sent me this last night: Dear Universe, if I am a goddess somewhere back there, don't let me know about that past life. Or lives. I don't care how free of ego I may become, I don't need those kind of mind games. That'll just interfere with my purpose. I am who I need to be right now. And if I'm embodying anything, I'll embody it knowing the why or not. Also, anyone who's been in the spiritual community for awhile has already met multiple self-professed incarnations of all of the above goddesses already, we're aware 🤣🤣 So, I thought this worthy of blogging thanks to an interaction I had not too long ago when it came to people coming together to share their experiences of connecting with Mary Magdalene. One person, who claimed to be in the Magdalene bloodline (hi, cuz), came into the discussion and said that Mary Magdalene had reincarnated as a human and is peacefully living her human life somewhere, and therefore we're all in a fit of spiritual psychosis, as she couldn't be appearing or speaking to any of us. Babe, you're completely forgetting about the Higher Self. Mary Magdalene, who likely herself was an incarnation of Auset/Isis, likely is here in the human realm, assisting with midwiving the New Age of the Earth into being. Her Higher Self is not here behind the veil of forgetfulness, and can continue its spiritual function while she's also here in the trenches doing the work. We all have this capability at the soul level. So, Mary Magdalene, and any goddess or god who currently has a human avatar can definitely still appear to humans, in the form they're accustomed to seeing or hearing them in, and can still advise or aid them as needed, while also still supporting their human avatar. They could each have multiple avatars operating on Earth right now, while still continuing their functions as deities. The most Millennial reference. For instance, I dropped that gif, and got up to do a few things, including clearing out one of my "doom piles," finding new homes for everything in the pile, and cleansing the space both physically and spiritually, because we're going back to the Indian supermarket to get that Kali Ma statue tomorrow. Is Kali Ma currently incarnated in a human body? I'm like 99.999% sure yes. Is the Higher Energy of Kali Ma very present in my life right now? You bet your boots. Am I Kali Ma? Doubtful. Does my dad's dad's family have a very deep ancestral tradition of Kali veneration? Yep. And I'm betting Kali will be bringing Sarasvati and Lakshmi onto the altar by May 24, as well. iykyk. So, please don't see that meme and think "OMG, I need to find my patron deity in their physical incarnation in order to communicate with them!!" No, no. In their human form, they are not "The Goddess Kali," they're whatever name their human parents gave them, or whatever chosen name they took on when they were ready to express their true human identity, if they needed to. Keep communicating with their Higher Self aspect the way you normally do, that part remembers being a goddess or a god, and can advise or aid accordingly. Their human avatars? May be more spiritually advanced than most, but are still here on Earth operating an electrified meat puppet like the rest of us. It comes with some limitations. They're consulting their Higher Selves, too.

I may not have an audience, but damn it, I have words and memes! I logged on with one more post-op update - I used my favorite cane for the first time since surgery yesterday, a single-point offset-handle aluminum model that's engraved so it looks like it's covered in shiny dragon scales. When my hip joint is fully functional, my left leg is my "strong leg" thanks to my balance issues and the foot drop in my right leg caused by the spinal cord injury. Which means that when I'm supporting my right leg, I use the cane on my left side. And when you're using a cane for support, you size the cane so the handle sits at your hip. I grab my cane yesterday, and... had to adjust it up a full notch to fit my new leg length. Damn! I should probably get re-measured. I lost an inch when I lost the disc at L5S1, I wonder if I regained a bit with the new hip. We're talking between 5'10" and 5'11", so I'm not exactly talking short and shorter here... I then took my longer cane to do a little light grocery shopping, where I walked the perimeter of both Meijer and Aldi with no pain issues! I haven't been grocery shopping in months!

I downloaded a free little macro & nutrient tracking app yesterday. Who am I?? I guess when you remove the toxic control element all of a sudden you can see the utility of the practice. Turns out, you can be eating the healthiest foods the earth can provide, and you can still fall short on some nutrients if you're eating it on vibes. Especially if you're #FIBERMAXXING. This was 2/22/26. Ignore the sodium & calcium, I couldn't figure out how to track my electrolyte drops. I planned on fixing myself Mujaddara for dinner, I even caramelized the onions, and when 6pm rolled around... I ate a big apple and an open-face SunButter & Jam sandwich instead. I wasn't meal kind of hungry. Had I had that Mujaddara, I would have hit my calories and protein and not hit the seeds so hard for the fats, but I fibermaxxed a little too close to the sun yesterday. The good news? I'm going to keep an eye on it for a few days, but I think I can drop spending $20/month on Benefiber from my budget. And you're probably looking at the calorie count and freaking out. Contrave has me eating purely for my physical needs, and I am so sedentary. I really only get up to cook myself meals on a daily basis. So, I do keep myself in a calorie deficit, but for me it's more of a maintenance diet, though I'm obviously losing weight. I can tell you from post-op healing that I get hungrier if I need to. I expect the more active I get this summer, the closer to a real maintenance diet I'll get.

Things I have learned in the last 72-ish hours: It's a lot easier for me to track my macros and decide on what to make for dinner based on what I still need in my diet that day, and what I have on hand. For instance, today's been heavy on the healthy fats, I had two chicken thighs and some olives for lunch, on top of my usual seed consumption. So, I'm chasing carbs and protein for the rest of the day... smoky pinto beans and cornbread from scratch for dinner it is. Edit: I originally thought my cornbread, like my white bean bread dough , was super low calorie, but I finally found the calculation error, my bread recipes are actually quite nutritionally dense! Good grief, I just charted it - the whole dinner is 531 calories, 18 grams of protein, 16 grams of fiber. Y'all want a healthy, easy meal that'll fill you up and tastes delicious? Pinto beans and cornbread without any dairy, eggs, or nuts.

TW: American Disability & Medicaid systems, medical neglect, discussions of surgery/post-op injury, and genocide. You know how I was denied Medicaid for 2026 because of a perfect storm of events that most people would simply write off as personal laziness ? Well, I'm writing this blog post to kill some time as I'm on hold with my County DHS to speak to someone about how to get the denial overturned. First of all, I had to hang up and call back to start on the automated menu from scratch three times, because the terminology they use is so specific that it's very confusing for anyone who doesn't work with it regularly. I also had to go through two menus and two sub-menus to find where I could speak to a human being. And when I finally connected (at 11:11am, it's 11:38 as I write this), I was caller number 36. I have no idea how many "specialists" they have on staff. I have an appointment this afternoon. Not until after 4pm, but now I wonder if I have enough time for this call and my appointment both. Here I thought five hours would be plenty of time to handle this and head out for my appointment... Starting next year, they've made putting in 20 hours per week of officially reported work or volunteer service a Medicaid qualification requirement. Are they planning on budgeting the staff to handle that? Because, at this point, they don't have the staff to handle the load of work they already have. And even if "official reporting" is handled online and by AI, they're going to need human troubleshooters for when something is inevitably fucked up by either human or robot. Especially if something as essential as peoples' health care is on the line if mandatory reporting gets fucked up for the smallest of reasons. They really thought adding another layer of difficulty to this system was a good idea? I know you likely think I'm being a dramatic liberal nose ring person for using the word "genocide" about this, but I'm not a liberal, I have roseacea so no nose ring, and I am out here with both personal experience and actual numbers , so I'm just going to point out how wildly inaccessible and understaffed/underfunded the social supports for disabled people in America are (and that includes facilities and supports for disabled veterans - I'n not a veteran, but I see what they're experiencing at the VA hospitals, I see how this country treats its heroes - all bluster, no compassion), and I'm just going to go ahead and make people uncomfortable with the "genocide" word when discussing what I see and experience. 11:59am now. Still on hold. Speaking of the Medicaid 2027 requirements... I've read them through, and I don't remember seeing anything about what happens if you can't make your 80 hours a month. Most part-time employees don't get PTO or a lot of PTO, they have to eat it if they get sick or have a family emergency. And volunteer positions don't have those kinds of deals at all, you're there or you're not, there's no "PTO" for volunteers. So, if your grandma is dying in Alberqurque, and you need to take a week off to be there, do you lose your Medicaid coverage? Are you expected to double your hours the next week to keep it? What if that's something that will flare the chronic Illness that has them on limited hours and Medicaid to begin with, so they need another week or two off to recover from the physical and emotional stress? Before you "but exemptions for disabilities!!" me, I have had two separate government employed "employment experts" and two separate government employed "doctors" (one had no idea what "myleomalacia" was, and when I said the word, the look on her face made it clear she decided I was faking right then, before the exam even started) declare me fit for full-time employment. They have done this repeatedly as I was concurrently going through multiple spine surgeries and that spinal cord injury, as well as severely damaging the nerves in my dominant hand and injuring the wrist joint in a way that is growing a cyst that's obstructing the use of my hand/wrist, and getting a total hip joint replacement. Despite Failed Laminectomy Syndrome being on my medical chart along with that myleomalacia (bruising of the spinal cord caused by a compression injury), I have had multiple government employees tell me that my surgeries fixed all my problems and made me fit to work again, despite some of those surgeries not having even taken place yet let alone healed in a way to determine what I lost and what I regained or retained. Getting a disability exemption from Medicaid work requirements will be just as impossible as getting into the social security program. I don't think this wasn't well thought out. I think it was extremely well thought out. I think they're trying to keep as many people uninsured and without access to health care as possible. And if they can take Medicaid away from the people already struggling as they're years, plural, sometimes many years into the disability application process, and have to earn their income the whole time like they already receive the disability check each month, even more will die before they get to their case, oopsie! 12:11pm now. I've officially been on hold for an hour, after taking a half-hour just to get to the point where I could be placed on hold. Soooooo... how is everyone? What's new? Break for some texting, and I'm back at 12:34pm. Still on hold. I have to bail on this at 3pm to get on the road for my appointment. They make me check in every 10 minutes to make sure I'm still on the line, but they won't tell me where I am in line now, or how many specialists are at their desks. What do you bet I need to call back and do this all again tomorrow? 1:11pm. Two hours on hold now. 2.5 hours into the process. They WANT you to give up. Just go without healthcare, die if you must. And I have the luxury of waiting around on hold. I don't have to run after a toddler, or get dinner on before picking the kids up from school. Or make it to a job where I can't have my phone on me or make personal calls outside of my lunch hour, like most front-facing and many office jobs nowadays. So, when are we supposed to handle our DHS business? They answered my call at 1:25pm. To tell me to call another number. Now, at the number they gave me, I asked for help applying for Medicaid, they sent me to tech support to get into the state website to do the application myself. Only, the website is down. So, I'm done for the day at 1:40pm, I'm denied the accommodation I stayed on hold for two hours to ask for, and my issue is still in limbo, and needs to be revisited tomorrow. Yep. Tune in tomorrow to see if the website actually works so I can get health coverage for another year...

I saw a video clip recently about how one of those Silicon Valley billionaires who thinks they can MAXX themselves into immortality saying that they pay a personal chef $500 per meal to cook them a diet with 30% dietary fiber, 20% more than what the average American gets in the Standard American Diet. Y'all, this rich fool is spending $1500 per day to eat grains, beans, and vegetables. And he thinks it'll make him more immortal than your average Old World grandfather. Wherever your Old World is, they're all eating like this, with regional variances. Also, I think wanting physical immortality is very immature. I thought Anne Rice's description of being a living witness to history was very romantic when I was young, but about the time I realized the immortality of the soul and what that entails, I sure as hell didn't want to be limited to this body forever and ever. Ew. I need more variety than that. Anyway, I'm exploring grains outside of rice and oats, because there's only so much rice one person can eat without wanting to explore other grain options. I'm polygrainimous, what can I say? I picked up quinoia, sorghum millet, and barley while I was out shopping the other day. Speaking of Quinoia, does anyone else remember the lady on Pinterest who kept the parody account for "Quinoia," her millennial beige hipster baby model imaginary daughter? Little Quinoia would be in high school now, and you know that kid would be a clean girl skincare influencer destroying her teenage skin with retinol and "baby Botox"... Back from that little sidetrack - I also got a sprouting lid to sprout some of the 8-ish pounds of lentils I have in the pantry. Considering my White Bean Bread Dough recipe makes a really soft, flexible flatbread wrap, I'm looking forward to veggie wraps with hummus and sprouts all spring and summer. #LEGUMEMAXXING. Thank God soy and peanut are the only ones I have problems with, I wouldn't know how to eat without the other legumes out there... With my success with my diet on both my health and my weight, my mom has decided that she wants to start eating my meals with me. Which means I spent a big chunk of the afternoon taking stock of what I have in the fridge and the pantry, and I set up a meal schedule for the week. I actually set up a public blog to record my recipes before I set up a weekly meal plan, y'all. I have been feeding myself on vibes and inspiration this whole time. And I love over-planning shit like this! I put my planning document together as a Google Sheet document, so I can share it with everyone who's eating. I'll probably blog about how to put a personal plan together in a few weeks, when I have it worked out. Dinner tonight is Mujaddara, if you were wondering.

TW: American SSI Disability & Medicaid systems, discussion of mental health & stress, genocide & eugenics. Today is one week post-op. I was on the table exactly seven days ago right now. Today, I also was notified by US SSI Disability that my request to review my hearing from April 2025 has been denied. Which means I'm starting the application process over from scratch, for the third time in six years. Why was I denied last year? Because the "employment expert" at the hearing decided I could still be a receptionist, even though I have literally failed at being a receptionist because of my health problems, but that wasn't in the time-frame of this hearing, so it didn't count and I can obviously be a receptionist just fine now... never mind that receptionists jobs are going to AI now, anyway. They're waiting for me to die. I am officially too disabled to benefit capitalism, and too young to justify spending social security on, so they'll just let me waste in limbo until I die. You think I'm kidding? Tell that to the 30,000 Americans who died waiting for their case to go through in 2023 . This is actual genocide and eugenics at work, that no one gives a shit about. At least I've had Medicaid this whole time, hence how I could get my hip replaced, but that's going away in exactly a year, so I will definitely face significant time without any health insurance now. So, uh, did I mention I have a Ko-fi for mutual aid ? I haven't been able to earn anything since 2024. And I'm certainly not getting any help from the social security I paid into my whole career. And, of course, this is fabulous for my mental health as I'm recovering from a major body-altering surgery! Fuck.

And I mean that in the very southern "bless your heart" way. TW: American Disability & Medicaid systems, post-op recovery, chronic illness including seasonal migraines, neurodivergence, mental stress, discussion of distress, danger, and genocide. I just got denied Medicaid for 2026. Why? I didn't return the re-application form. Why wouldn't I do that promptly, it's not hard to return a form, right? I had a total hip joint replacement on January 5. I spent most of the month of January on Oxy. I came home from the hospital with a stomach virus, and my sister brought me home an upper respiratory virus at the end of January. I learned my SSI Disability appeal was denied at exactly one week post-op. I've been busy re-applying with my lawyer's office, in-between medical appointments galore. I spent most of February in a severe, intractable migraine thanks to an extended "Fool's Spring." Every time I was prompted to re-apply online, I was locked out of the state website for 24 hours for too many failed login attempts, because apparently none of my saved login info is correct. I have combined-type ADHD. It's on my medical record. That's not going to be manageable while I'm on a meds regimen that's totally different than normal and have extreme physical and mental stressors in my life. My lawyer's office can tell you how the demand resistant avoidance is treating me. Locking an ADHD person out of a task they're prepared to focus on for 24 hours is the kiss of death. Basically, I am being asked to complete a "simple task" with an obese elephant strapped to my back, and zero assistance. So, now I get to call my DHS office on Monday and demand they reconsider my case. My current plan ends on the 28th, so I'm clear for all of the medical care I've had so far, and I'm up on all my prescription meds, so I can deal with a month or so of paperwork, and I will absolutely submit anything I pay out of pocket for retroactive reimbursement. But seriously... I was denied SSI Disability despite the fact that my combined disabilities contributed to my failing to submit the paperwork to keep the healthcare coverage I need for another year. Go ahead. Tell me this isn't an ongoing, bipartisan genocide of disabled people. Flying the American flag upside down is a sign of citizens in distress, with extreme danger to life or property. Considering disabled Americans aren't allowed to have any kind of accumulated wealth to access the social security system, and considering thousands of disabled Americans are unable to participate in the full-time workforce and yet are in SSI Disability application limbo for 2-12+ years... the call is coming from inside the house.

I had my last post-op appointment with my surgeon today, and I am free and clear! The little wounds on the incision are apparently very normal, and pop up at 6 weeks, when the internal sutures dissolve. Once they heal up, in about five days, I'm clear for hot tubbing again! Now I have to re-learn using my cane for my drop foot in my right leg again 😅😅 I went to the local Indian supermarket while I was out to stock up my spice cabinet and grain stores in my pantry, and couldn't help bringing home yummy smelling soaps and Dettol for my bath, too. A statue of Kali Maa from the puja section of the store also wanted to come home with me, but I told Her I needed a spot for Her before I could bring Her home, because it's not a small statue. Did She just show me the spot? Yes. She'll be sharing it with the closed jar ecosystems I plan to put there this summer... This just means I have to go back sooner than I usually get to that side of town. I also literally bumped into Hanuman Ji while I was there, so... shit's about to get real.

TW: weight gain and loss, plus clothing sizing, fatphobia, body dysmorphia. I took the nice weather and having some energy yesterday to try on some of the things in my closet that I haven't put on in awhile, to see if it even still fits. And the most surprising pieces do and don't fit! A little storytime about my size and clothing sizes over the years - at 18 years old, in 2000, I was a perfect Lane Bryant size 18. I could go into Lane Bryant and put anything in a size 18 on my body and it would fit like a glove. Everyone from Lane Bryant associates to my friends told me that I should apply for the brand modeling calls (I never did). Now, I was also a member of the Society for Creative Anachronism, an organization for middle ages recreation. This included sewing your own medieval clothing for events, so I knew my measurements - my hips were, on average, 48" around. My waist was 38", this is the first time in my life that I haven't had a perfect hourglass figure at 48"-38"-48". I just now took my measurements. 47"-35"-41.5". I currently have two pieces of denim bottoms in my wardrobe right now - a pair of Lane Bryant bootcut jeans size 18L that I bought in 2019, and a pair of Lane Bryant jorts, size 18 that I thrifted last year, but they look pretty new. Both fit my 35" waist perfectly. The jeans are a comfortably loose fit. I just checked Lane Bryant's website. They claim a size 18 fits a 46" -40" -48". I couldn't button these jeans at that size. This particular pair was my "goal jeans." By my measurements, I should be in a size 12/14, but considering how these size 18's fit, there's no way I can fit in anything smaller than a 16, and it would be uncomfortably tight. Torrid looks to be the same way, I have a pair of knit leggings in what I thought was a Torrid size 2 but that look to be a size 3, that fit me really well. They're supposed to be a size 22/24 for a 44"-48" waist and 54"-58" hips. I have never been that size, even at my heaviest, though I was definitely wearing size 22/24 at my heaviest a few years ago. And I should currently be in a 00/0 in Torrid's sizing, by their official size chart. Are these garments stretchy? Yes. Are they "accommodate two to three sizes larger than I currently am" stretchy? Absolutely not. More like "can currently comfortably wear to an all you can eat buffet" stretchy. Which means that a Lane Bryant size 18 is 3" smaller in the waist than it was 26 years ago. And is 5" smaller in the waist than advertised. Torrid's size discrepancy is even wider. This is why people freak out when plus size labels drop their higher sizes. Those higher sizes are a lot smaller than they used to be. And the opposite of vanity sizing is happening here... shame sizing? Which means that if you shop exclusively at these plus size retailers, you're going to think you're a solid two sizes bigger than you really are. Now, the fatphobia crowd would answer with "jUsT LoSe ThE wEiGhT" which is, of course, the least helpful advice ever. Say they do lose the weight, what are they going to wear while they're doing so? Clothing is a human right, not a privilege for the people who fit the society's body image. And if the society is going to insist on convenience eating with filler ingredients to subsidize genetically modified industrial farming, the society is going to have to offer true expanded clothing sizes. And accessible health care, but I digress. This also adds to some serious body dysmorphia, which women do not need any more of in their lives. I have thankfully done the work mentally as well as physically, and I know that clothing sizing is a whole pile of bullshit in this country, but imagine being a person like me who has lost 70lbs, a major accomplishment, but you still fit into what the label says is a size 18, which should fit someone 5" bigger than you, and you cannot fit your actual size and have to back up two sizes bigger than you actually are. You're being fully gaslit by your own clothing. If I have to lose another 5" to fit a Lane Bryant size 14, I will look sickly. I will be sickly at that weight. And these are PLUS SIZES. These are the sizes you're supposed to be losing your way out of, so of course they want to hold onto their clientele any way possible. I'm certainly never ever going to chase a number on a tag, my supposedly size 18 jeans and jorts are perfectly comfortable, thank you. But not every woman knows this, we're raised from birth to chase those numbers, no matter what kind of harm it does to our bodies and mental health. Now, you're probably going to say "where's the proof?" so here's the proof. Go ahead and check the metadata, these were freshly taken (11am on 2/19/26) on my iPhone SE 2020, of me, wearing the garments, along with pictures of the tags of said garments. In "I told you I was a lingerie model," here's the jorts: The size 22/24 Torrid leggings (if you think that may be another size, let me know) : And the Lane Bryant jeans: So, if you go into the store, and you're trying on new clothes, and you find yourself in a size far bigger than you've ever been in before, but your weight hasn't fluctuated that much... it might not be you, and that number is just a number.

How to know you're an 80's baby... my mom would make going to see the doctor less scary by playing this on the drive over and singing "let's get a physical!" and encouraging my brother and I to join in. TW: weight loss, with numbers. Obesity & BMI. Surgery & recovery. I had my six month check-up with my PCP today (you get semi-annuals when you have enough wrong with you), which of course means a weigh-in. I'm at 205lbs, which is 12lbs lighter than the 217lbs I was on surgery day six weeks ago. That is also 70lbs lighter than the 275lbs I weighed at my heaviest in 2023, and 50lbs lighter than the 255lbs I was when I started Contrave. That also puts me at a 29.4 BMI. Now, I know the BMI is a load of crap, according to the BMI I should be 165lbs, and that would make me look like a starvation victim. I'm betting I bottom out somewhere between 195-200lbs, which still puts me in the "overweight" category. But! This is the first time in my adult life that I've been below a 30 BMI, aka in the "obesity" range. As a matter of fact, most of that was spent in obesity level 2. The lowest weight I've ever been before this was 210lbs. So, I've officially beaten my own record. Also, I wore a pair of pants today that just fit when I bought them two years ago, fit perfectly over the holidays, and are now obviously baggy. This is a pair I never thought would be baggy on me, holy cow. Speaking of pants... it's a lot easier to find a 34" inseam in a size 20W. I'm in a 14/16 straight size now. Except this one random pair of Lane Bryant size 18 jeans that somehow fit perfectly loose. But denim is a whole other thing when it comes to sizing and fit. Everyone was SHOCKED I looked and was moving around so well so soon after one of the toughest surgeries to endure. Clean eating, hydration, electrolytes, and nutritional supplementation, baby. Give your body what it needs to properly function, and it'll actually work the way it's supposed to. Funny enough, after the three spine surgery go-arounds (two of the five surgeries were doubled up), six weeks to the day later I did a studio photography shoot. This is the first time I haven't had one booked at six weeks. Which is fine, I'm waiting for next year when I finish the hair growth challenge. But, let's see if I'm up to some selfies tomorrow. It's not like I'm un-identifiable without the weight, but I don't really look like my pictures anymore... Also, for manifestation purposes: there's a giant clothing swap coming up in April, and Universe, I'm looking for athletic pants and interesting pairs of slacks that are either plenty long enough, or look even better worn cropped.

Okay, this is a bit of a story: I have a set of "magic skirts," double-layer, reversible wrap skirts made with recycled silk sarees from India that I live in in the summer months, but move to the back of the closet in the snow and the cold. So, I didn't notice for awhile that Penelope had pulled down the purple one for Penelope's Purple Princess Palace in my closet. That's not Penelope in the picture. That's Hamish, my biggest, burliest, boy cat going I WANNA BE A PRINCESS TOO!! Which very much reminds me of playing Pretty Pretty Princesses as a kid with ALL the kids, even the older boys would pause their Nintendo games or Hot Wheels races to join in. Everyone's family game set was inevitably stocked with grandma's old costume jewelry, because there was never enough of the plastic jewelry that came with the game for all the kids to play. For the record, not only did all the adults think it was cute and funny for us kids to play super gendered games in mixed-gender groups, now that I'm thinking about it, some 90% of the boys I played Pretty Pretty Princesses with grew up to join the military. Special forces, multiple tours, the works. Anyway, my cats are lucky my only plan for tomorrow is a doctor's appointment, that's my Mardi Gras skirt... they're definitely losing it the minute it gets warm enough for me to really wear, though. Speaking of, I splashed some hydrogen peroxide on that white spot on my incision... no bubbles whatsoever. It's not infected, it's fat that hasn't grown skin over it yet. More rabbit tracking story... my 92 year old grandmother has been having problems with chronic wounds on her feet and legs for about a year now, with this exposed fat layer issue. When I learned she was putting collagen dressings on them from the wound care clinic, I talked her into drinking my instant bone broth every day, with a full dose of bovine collagen, so she can get the collagen both internally and externally. A month later, her wounds are nearly healed. Which means I have access to collagen wound dressings she's not using anymore, which I'll put on today, and let both my PCP and my surgeon know what's going on at my respective appointments. And yes, I am dosing myself with bovine collagen and vitamin C daily, as well.