The Astrology of Auntie.

You wonder why I am the way I am? Let me tell you, using stars and planets...

• Sun & Mercury (retrograde) are both Gemini, 10th House. I have indeed built my career and reputation in various aspects of communication, everything from writing branded social media copy, to delivering personal messages from Spirit through one-on-one tarot card readings. I also credit this placement for how musically oriented I am, and my talent in social science.

• Moon is in Scorpio, 4th House. "Oh, that's why she's a goth with a penchant for witchcraft and a disturbing love of horror movies and frolicking in dangerous water and wave conditions" is the tippiest tip of the iceberg there. You have no idea how deep the secrets go no matter which branch of the family tree you shake. And you may think that putting out your whole damn natal chart would make a Scorpio Moon feel over-exposed, but as you read on, you'll probably notice I have a completely different idea of what constitutes self-overexposure than most people.

• Leo Ascendant. I am absolutely the quintessential "black cat girlfriend."

• Venus in Taurus, 9th House. Have I been a hedonist ever since Lestat explained the concept in one of Anne Rice's novels? Yep.

• Mars in Libra, 2nd House. Does the lingerie modeling make a lot more sense now, despite the asexuality? Yep. Auntie needs an excuse to wear ALL the pretty things, and as an areligious, asexual person in perimenopause doesn't see their body as a sexual object that needs to be covered for modesty's sake. This goes along with the Leo Ascendant, and the comfort and bravery with the physical form that goes with it, and that Neptune & Lilith in Sagittarius down there adds a whole lot of creativity and boundary-pushing to the expression of the physical form.

• Saturn & Pluto (both retrograde) in Libra, 3rd House. Let's just say I'm actively involved in my community, particularly in leadership roles. Have been for years now. This hasn't exactly made me everyone's favorite person. These positions would explain that, as well.

• Jupiter (retrograde) in Scorpio, 3rd House. See above.

• Uranus (retrograde) in Sagittarius, 4th House. I am, indeed, the "black sheep" of the family, pretty much every way you look at it.

• Neptune (retrograde) + Black Moon Lilith in Sagittarius, 5th house. Behold, the perfect recipe for AuDHD hyper-imagination and maladaptive daydreaming! As well as the source of my unblinkingly dark AF and lightning quick humor, and general sense of goofiness and childlike awe.

• Chiron in Taurus, 10th House. Just in case you were wondering why I'm on six major structural surgeries by the age of 43. Or why my health ruined my career. And why I'm on my third application for SSI Disability in six years after my latest denial (yes, I have a lawyer). Or why I'm allergic to so many things.

• North Node in Cancer, 11th House / South Node in Capricorn, 5th House. I sure did have "childhood adversity," that's why I have fibromyalgia/central sensitization syndrome. And it sure did stem from being "different." And guess who gets to heal their trauma and develop their emotional IQ out the ass while struggling to learn how to maintain healthy relationships as a result?

Yeah. Yeah, that is a lot of retrogrades. They foretold my coming 🤣🤣🤣

As for Aspects...

• Sun Square Moon. You know, that Gemini public persona vs. that Scorpio home & family focus. I may look extroverted, but I actually recharge my battery by smoking weed in bed while watching movies with my cats.

• Venus Trine Mars. I am beauty fucking personified. That's sarcasm. But I am very aesthetically focused, and I mean that in the original way, and not in the "Americana coastal grandma tomato girl" way.

• Mercury Opposition Jupiter. What can I say, I'm a communicator.

• Saturn Conjunct Ascendant. So, I have that balancing, maturing Libra influence on my Leo persona... I am Mufasa.