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Hamish the Haggis fully experiences the nip, while Milosh can hear colors.

tbh, I figured you'd all appreciate the featured pic for this post not being an anatomical drawing of a vulva, so here's this cute lil diva in her bubble bath. If there's a word for 2025, it'd be "hygiene." All of a sudden, thanks to people talking about it openly on the internet, women especially are learning what no one bothered to teach us before. Which means we're beating the hormonal stank in ways our mothers and grandmothers didn't. But, one thing that all the hygiene influencers I've seen have in common is hair removal - they all shave their body hair. I stopped removing my body hair altogether after my last spine surgery. The spinal cord bruising makes me dizzy, and the drop foot in my right leg makes me unstable. I could sit, sure, but between showering, skincare, and haircare, personal grooming is exhausting , seated or not. If it's not essential for my health and well-being, I'm not wasting my spoons on it. Oh, and because all of that is exhausting, I'm not doing it every day... more like every 2-3 days, if I'm feeling good. Up to a week in between when it gets bad. So, I need to know how to keep up without a full shower, as well. And, we've established that I've followed a crunchified personal care regimen since I was a pre-teen, which means I'm doing this with natural, often homemade or single-ingredient products. So, let's break down hairy bit by hairy bit how to stay smelling sweet without maintaining hair removal in the process. Again, this is not a monetized blog, and these are not paid endorsements! I genuinely like and buy these products! The Soap: The base of all of this is a good antibacterial soap. I happen to be a Safeguard Bar Soap girlie. I find it gentle enough to use everywhere, everyday. Tattoo enthusiasts especially go for Dial Gold Soap . And basically everyone outside of the US will tell you to use Dettol Soap . Hibiclens comes up a lot, too, but that stuff makes me itch like fuck. I'm not too thrilled about the double wipedown in it in a couple of weeks as is. And please do not put Hibiclens in your crotch or on your face! The Genitalia: Okay, this has come up a lot lately, and it's shocking how many women don't know this. What's the point of sex ed if whole grandmothers don't know this?? The "vagina" is the inside part of the women's genitalia. The tube between the labia and the cervix. The labia is the outside part, the bits with the clitoris and all the folds and such. And then the Mons Pubis is over that, that's the hairy part. Now, apparently gynecologists have been telling their patients "the vagina is a self-cleaning oven" for years, likely in an attempt to get them to stop douching with Lysol: You thought that was an exaggeration? Problem being, because "vagina" has become slang for the female genitalia as a whole, women are hearing this and not washing their labia & Mons Pubis, for it is all "vagina" and therefore a self-cleaning oven. Ladies, please use any of the soaps named above on your vulva. If a tampon touches it while in use, don't put soap there, but otherwise, it needs soap and water. Using a washcloth for this task makes it extra effective. That goes for your butthole, too, just going to say it. Soap's got to go there, and it's got to be rinsed off properly, too. I have always insisted on having a "shower massage head" purely for the detachable shower head so I can get lots of water rinsing down there. I tried a Tushy bidet, and while it worked on me , it flushed all the fecal matter under the toilet seat, so... I find a portable bidet is better, but YMMV on that one. Baby wipes. I see influencers using Dickinson's witch hazel wipes which are wonderful but hella expensive, or wipes from small companies which look great... but baby wipes are the same thing, for half the cost. The teddy bears on rocking horses on the package do not bother me. When I was a working woman and didn't want to carry a whole package of baby wipes around with me, I bought individually wrapped wipes from Always. Nowadays, you can get wipes for just about everything and in every kind of packaging from Dollar Tree. Hypochlorous acid or HOCL - I find that when I need a little "oomph" to the wipe, I give it a couple of sprays of HOCL before using it. I will also spritz the crotch of my panties if they're starting to get ripe, the HOCL kills the bacteria making the smell. Lavender essential oil. Okay, this is a "use at your discretion" kind of tip - I always made sure to not wear it to my annual so my gyno could make sure my body's scent was normal, but I forgot one time and she said the habit was perfectly fine as long as it didn't cause any irritation. That being said, you may want to discuss it with your own gyno before trying it. Anyway, you put one drop of lavender essential oil into the crotch of your panties, neat. Do not do this if you're wearing an adhesive pad or liner in your panties, the chemical combo does not agree with the adhesive. I haven't done this as a daily habit in awhile, but I did it daily both as a student in my 20's and as an office girl in my 30's, both requiring long days seated in an office chair building up a good swamp ass. That drop of lavender meant that my panties may be moist, but they smell like a French field in summer. Cotton panties. Or hemp, if you're extra crunchy. Or mulberry silk, if you're fancy. Natural fibers, is what I'm saying here. Pass on the polyester, for the most part. I know I have those polyester fast-dri panties on my hospital list, I've always had a lot of success with that particular kind being legit fast drying. But packages of cute panties from Shein? Not for everyday wear, babe. "Period Panties" or panty liners - there are so many options here! Disposable panty liners have been the standard for years, but if disposables aren't your vibe, Lil Helper makes all kinds of reusable absorbent products, and pretty much every panty maker makes an absorbent panty nowadays. Stay hydrated. Your self-cleaning oven can't function without cleaning fluid. And urine doesn't have a lot of odor when you're properly hydrated, so if you do drip a little? It's not as crucial as when your hydration is out of balance. So, you have "chub rub"? I recommend using a "friction defense stick" like GoldBond 's before putting your favorite dusting powder over the top. But, the GOAT is to just wear cotton biker shorts as your underwear. Also, you really don't want to use that dusting powder in the crotch of your panties, there were all kinds of uterine cancer lawsuits over that in Africa and India awhile back. Stick to the HOCL and lavender oil there. Armpit & Underboob* *or any place where skin rests on skin and collects sweat Soap it all down. I usually soap both areas up before soaping up my African Net Sponge for a whole body scrub-down, those parts included. So, they get like a double hit of the antibacterial soap. If you have any places where skin rests on skin, don't forget to lift them to soap and rinse the whole area, and make sure to dry it properly. I'll talk more about that in a minute. The Three-Step Odor Eliminating Deodorant Process First layer: Raw Apple Cider Vinegar. This'll balance your skin's PH, make it a terrible place for bacteria to live. ProTip: don't put it in a spray bottle. The Mother will grow in the bits and clog it up so badly you'll have to toss the spray mechanism. Use cotton balls or pads to apply it. Second Layer: HOCL. This'll disinfect the area, leave you with a bacteria-free (or at least with far, far less bacteria than before) surface for your deodorant paste. Third layer: The Deodorant Paste. 2 parts raw coconut oil (it has to be raw, refined won't work) 1 part cornstarch, arrowroot powder, or tapioca starch 1 part baking soda 3 parts geranium essential oil 3 parts clary sage essential oil 2 parts lavender essential oil 1 part Ylang ylang essential oil Whip all ingredients together in a non-reactive bowl with a hand mixer. Store in a shallow jar with a tight lid away from direct light, and allow to sit overnight before using. To use: apply a small pea sized amount to the hairy area of the armpit, be sure to coat all hair strands and work down to the skin. The paste will melt as it warms to the body. The essential oils are technically optional. They are, however, natural hormone regulators, according to essential oil research (which is, you know... but whatever, because of my next point). They are also all delightful floral fragrances, and whenever I wear this combo I'm complimented by absolutely everyone I walk past. You can leave them out altogether, and the combo of the three base ingredients is enough to be effective odor control. Or, you can create your own fragrance combo. Just, be sure to not use any citrus oils during the summer months if you show the sun your armpits. Citrus oils make your skin more prone to sunburn and UV damage. You can't use one of the base ingredients? I recommend looking into any of the commercial "all over deodorants" with ingredients you can use that are effective for you. For me, this three step process will hold for up to 72 hours. And it can also be done from step one as a freshen-up, I might take a cotton ball of Dickinson's Micellar Cleanser to my armpit first to remove any old deodorant, but this process will take me from stress sweat to public appropriate nice and fast when I don't have spoons for a full shower, or even a partial shower. When it comes to skin on skin places like underboob, and skin folds, you will likely be happier subbing the aforementioned Friction Defense Stick - or your own blend of oils, butters, and waxes - before liberally applying your favorite dusting powder. Again, make sure the area is as dry as possible before applying these two products. The girlies are getting Eos powder and Lush powder and that's lovely, but you can easily use the cornstarch, arrowroot powder, or tapioca starch you already have in your kitchen. The girlies are also putting it in beautiful cut crystal jars, but something with a good seal is best. Go ahead and splurge on the powder puff, tho. All dusting powder is, is layering your favorite kitchen starch over cotton balls saturated in your favorite fragrances, whether that be oils or perfumes or a mix of both. The girlies are customizing their scents here. If you're using this on an area that will be skin-on-skin all day, make sure you don't use a fragrance or oil that will irritate your skin. Again, keep your jar out of direct light, and let it sit overnight before using. The Bonus Non-Hairy Spot Hygiene Tip Start scraping your tongue. It makes a huge difference in your oral health. And it's far more effective than just brushing your tongue, trust me. Don't let your tongue get hairy!

Look, I'm not trying to get up here and mixed-splain traditional African hair care, but natural hair influencers, and hair growth influencers in general seem to have glommed on to two very puzzling "facts" recently - water is bad for your hair, and oils and butters dry your hair out. Chebe is getting a lot of blame for causing thinning hair nowadays, too, getting caught up in the oil and butter discourse. You know, that mix that's been used to grow hair successfully in Chad for what, millennia? Definitely can't be user error, no... My hair is highly, HIGHLY porous (which means it absorbs water quickly, but also loses that water to evaporation quickly) and very fine (fine refers to the thickness of the hair strand itself, "thin" refers to how many grow out of your head). Behold, the hair structure. So, my highly porous hair means that that webbing bit in the cortex is literally full of holes. It acts like a sponge because it's structured like one. That makes my hair incredibly fragile, to the point where the ends actually disintegrate at the slightest hint of physical distress. So far, chebe butter steam treatments have been the only thing to allow my hair to retain the ends. Like, to the point where they still look blunt cut a whole month after my last trim. I've shared the recipe I use for chebe butter a few times. Here's the process: This is a wash day activity, I use my Kojic acid soap to scrub my scalp, and use the extra suds to wash the strands. Obviously, this leaves you with completely saturated wet hair. Blot it a bit, but you still want your hair dripping just a little before using your products. I start with my scalp oil and massage for growth. I then use about 1/8 cup of store bought leave-in conditioner on the strands. This will obviously increase as my hair gets longer. My hair adores Cetyl/Cetearyl Alcohol... they're fatty alcohols, not drying like the Isopropyl in your medicine cabinet. They're what give your favorite conditioner the "slip" to detangle your hair. And then I use about the same amount of chebe butter on top of the conditioner. Here's where I move from the bathroom to the bedroom so I can get comfortable for the steam treatment: You'll need: a steam bonnet (that's the one I have, I'm not getting paid to share that link), or heating pad long enough to wrap around your head with clips to hold it in place, a plastic shower cap or plastic bag with a headband to hold it in place, and the fuzzy cap your steam bonnet came with if applicable. Put your wet, chebe-ed hair into the plastic cap or plastic bag, top with the fuzzy cap if you're using a steam bonnet, and put the steam bonnet on or wrap your heating pad around your head. Choose your temperature - you want it as warm as possible without making your scalp sweat. That can take some trial and error at first. Relax for at least a half-hour while you heat up all those butters and oils and resins. Your hair will still be wet after the steam treatment. I don't diffuse my hair, I just tidy the part and clump the curls with one of those curl brushes before letting it air dry. How often do I do this? Every 2-3 days. Up to once a week during flares or migraines. Why does this work? Your hair needs water. That's why it gets frizzy in humid air, the cuticle is opening as wide as possible to absorb as much of the moisture as possible. Yeah, moisture. There's only one ingredient that provides "moisture" and "hydration" to your hair and skin - water. Everything else is a humectant - more commonly called a "slug" nowadays in skincare terms. That's an ingredient that does not itself contain water or provide moisture (unless you live in an extremely humid climate), but it provides a catch barrier to hold the water in your hair and keep it from evaporating out. Now, if you put a humectant on dry hair... that barrier the humectant provides goes both ways. It won't let the water in, either. That's why so many people think that oils and butters are drying out their hair... they're putting it on dry hair and expecting it to "moisturize." I think we all know what heat does to oils and butters... and water, for that matter. Heating these ingredients puts them into the best state for your hair to fully absorb both the moisture and the oils and butters, all of them can get past the cuticle and fill up all those sponge holes in the cortex. Then, when your hair returns to room temperature, so do the oils and butters... now your hair is fortified and the cuticle is sealed, it's like putting a scaffold on every strand. It took me about a month into my chebe journey to figure out the steam treatments step - without it, the butter sits on top of the strand. Fine for sealing the cuticle, but not great for filling up that cortex... and boy was my hair greasy. That was new for me, my hair positively inhales oils. And here's a bonus tip - wear silk sleep bonnets , not polyester satin (again, not paid for that link, I just like the brand). There's a huge, huge difference you'll see in your hair. And yes, wear a bonnet even if you have silk pillowcases - I've been sleeping on satin pillowcases for over a decade, and can attest that that's more for your skin than your hair. That's me in my steam bonnet, which makes me feel like one of the Egyptian soldiers in Stargate (1994), but extra fabulous... which is pretty on point for Stargate, tbh.

Well. "Owala." It's the "Freesip" design, but I have no idea if it's "real" or not. Nor do I particularly care. The Freesip bottle seems to be number one on everyone's "What I'm Not Buying in 2026" lists. I didn't buy mine! [ cue lil' Miley Cyrus singing the Hannah Montana theme song ] I'm at my Surgical Optimization Appointment a few weeks back, and my Nurse Navigator comes in with all my goodies - the itchy af pre-surgery wipes (they're basically off-brand Hibiclens), the Ensure glucose drinks you drink on a schedule the night before surgery, the ice packs for the incision icing schedule I have to keep up immediately after surgery, the walker I'll be getting around on for six or so weeks... and a water bottle branded with the health system's logo, which she started right out with. Why? Because I'm the first ever orthopedic surgery patient to get one. They did a study recently, and realized a huge majority of patients who land in the ER in the 72 hours after surgery do so because they're dehydrated. And, they figured that patients would actually want to use their new water bottle if they're the latest trend style. Basically, had this been a year ago, it would have been a 40oz tumbler. Anyway, I was given a 32oz Freesip, and told to drink 3 fills per day during post-op recovery. What are the dang odds, that the first patient to get the fancy water bottle and the post-op hydration instructions is the outlier super young (in comparison, at least) patient with the existing hydration obsession? I haven't even used it yet, because I'm so used to just re-filling my 50oz tumbler, though the Freesip will likely be easier to haul around with the cup holder on my walker, so I'll probably switch over next week. As for pre-op prep, I packed my hospital bag today. I'm pretty sure Penelope lost her first home when her family got evicted, because she freaks out if she sees me packing an overnight bag. I waited until she wasn't around to start putting my bag together... but she found me about 3/4 of the way through, and proceeded to have a freak-out. So, now my bag is living in my closet, on a high shelf she can't get to or see, for stress reduction and less chance of getting peed on in protest. I'll write up that breakdown of what's inside later this week, but right now, I need to go finish that meal prep stuffing!

One week to New Hip Day!! My BFF and surgery buddy is under the knife right now, lots of good thoughts to her! And I finally have meal number 1 in my freezer! So, I made up a meatloaf recipe with pork sausage, brown rice, and mushrooms. I use flax eggs instead of chicken eggs because I'm allergic to chicken eggs, and I went back and forth on whether the starch in the rice would be enough of a binder or not. I went with just the rice... why do I always blow 50/50 shots? It definitely needed a flour binder. So, it's real crumbly and didn't get a crust, whomp whomp. Family secret spilling time: we do not have a good meatloaf recipe. I've been eating crumbling meatloaf my whole life. I don't know if I can handle a good, solid loaf. So, I'll thaw/reheat these slices in my toaster oven, with a potato baking on the side. I also have half a loaf of this drying out in my cupboard for stuffing: Pinto Bean Bread recipe . It's essentially the bread recipe I've used for years, but with pureed pinto beans added to the dough. I got three 2lb sandwich loaves from the recipe. It has a really soft and chewy but strong crumb that slices and toasts really well. This may be my new go-to recipe, at least for sandwich bread. And, I have six chicken breasts marinading that'll be pan fried tonight. Which means my meal prep will be finished tonight! Whew. Next up is a LOT of laundry (especially next Sunday, when I have to do all my bedding... did I mention I "autism nest" under a bunch of those heavy, faux-mink blankets with the images on them? It'll take all day...), a LOT of battery charging, and actually packing my hospital bag... so get ready for the "what's in my bag" post real soon!

TW: addiction, recovery. The trigger warning goes for the whole post, not just this meme, btw. People are on TikTok loading up tote bags with offline activities to curb their doom scrolling. I'm watching a compilation video on YouTube right now, where someone commented that they remind them of the "Kid Kits" from the Baby-Sitters Club series, but for grown-ups, which is pretty hilarious to Elder Millennial me. On that note, puff painting and bedazzling cotton totes from Michael's for personalized "Analog Bags" would make a great ladies' night... The point is to keep non-digital time occupying activities handy in a tote bag, so whenever you want to get off your phone, you can pick up the bag and quickly find something else to do. There seem to be two different kinds - the bag that stays at home, and the bag that's packed specifically for going out either alone or with friends. I think people are trying to do two things with this one trend - address their social media addictions, and start to separate themselves from smart phones in general by replacing the phone's function in their lives. And I think this issue would be best addressed from these two different angles, not all in one like people are trying to do. I'm saying this as someone who has been social media free since April, and has gone on large (I'm talking multiple years at a time) social media breaks, and pre-social media on long message board community breaks, for decades now. I don't have a particularly addictive personality. I have two addictions - sugar, and social media. And with addictions, you really need to just put it down and not pick it up again. You need to fully quit some apps. Get them off your phone, delete your account if you need to. You probably ask how people will be able to contact you, particularly if you don't necessarily want them to know your phone number? Get an independent messaging app. I use Signal, personally, but whatever you and your people use. Do Not Use Facebook Messenger. That's some of the biggest spyware out there. And it makes it too easy to get sucked back into the main app. You're probably also wondering how you're going to get your news? You have a few options - bookmarking your favorite journalism outlets on your web browser and making a habit of visiting them directly, following news podcasts or television/video journalism, or downloading a dedicated news reader app. Yes, this means that, unless you have a dedicated app or keep NPR in your headphones all day, you have to be in a certain place and at a certain time to access your news. Trust me, that is a lot healthier than our 24/7 hyper-awareness. This makes it a lot easier to find balance and boundaries with your news consumption, and you will find your mental health improves. The first two or three weeks are rough. They take a lot of willpower. And it's probably going to make you pretty angry that you're having this intense of a reaction for so long to a fucking app. Good. Get angry. You should be angry. This is when having an analog bag full of distractions is useful. I also recommend cooking all your meals from scratch during this time. That makes time go by fast. This is also a great time to start an exercise routine, or really start focusing in on the one you already have. Centering yourself back in your physical body helps a lot during the digital DTs. Now, what's in an Analog Bag? Like I said, there seems to be two versions, one that stays home, and one that goes out. The "Indoor Bag" is more like a hobby bag, whereas the "Outdoor Bag" is basically breaking out the smartphone into its analog components. The content portion of these bags on TikTok is in a "what's in my bag?" format, and as for the kinds of things you can put in these bags, the influencers are suggesting items like... Their current read, and/or the next book on their TBR pile. The focus is on physical copies, but especially if you have an e-reader that doesn't have an app function, there's no reason to not keep a digital reader in here, too. Knitting, crochet, cross-stitch, and embroidery projects. If you're into making small, easy, repetitive things, may I suggest hats and blankets for your local NICU? Knots of Love has both knit and crochet patterns available for free! Your local homeless shelters also appreciate donations of hats, scarves, mittens, and blankets, any time, but especially when it starts getting cold in the fall. Portable art kits, sketchbooks and pen/pencil sets. Watercolor sets with the water pens seem to be very popular. Adult coloring books and pens/pencils. Puzzle books: crossword, word find, sudoku, etc. Don't forget pencils and erasers. Jigsaw puzzles. Lego sets. A deck of cards for Solitaire games. Not for everyone, but a deck of tarot cards, instructional book, and tarot journal would be a great addition, if learning to read tarot has been on your list for awhile. Bullet Journals, free-form journals, planners, scrapbooking materials. Stationary & stamps for letter and card writing. A watch (NOT a smartwatch), or a small alarm clock to keep in your bag, so you can check the time without checking your phone. Same with a calculator, if you think you'll need one. An Mp3 player and small Bluetooth speaker/headphones or earbuds. I don't know about you, but I need background noise for all of the above. If this is something you want to get in the habit of carrying around as you move around your house throughout the day, also include a water bottle, and your emergency meds. Actually, if you're awful about remembering to take your meds, put all of your meds in your bag. Same goes for your supplements. We're fostering good habits here, right? Just be sure to be safe about it - if your meds are controlled, or if you have young kids, niblings, or grandkids, make sure the meds are in a locked med bag. You can get med bags at any pharmacy. same with any disposable products you may use to handle your menstruation or incontinence. And maybe an extra pair of underwear. You don't know when you'll be down in the kitchen when all of a sudden OOPS, and everything you need is in the upstairs bathroom. Why yes, these are all great things to include in a surgery bag to keep you occupied in a hospital bed, too! Obviously, you'll be picking and choosing what goes in your bag based on your own needs, interests and abilities. I recommend picking 1-2 major activities and maybe 1-2 smaller ones, not loading the bag down. You don't need to overwhelm yourself by feeling like you have to get to everything in your bag - this is fun, not work. You'll also be swapping things out as you complete them, so you can take a break from knitting to cross-stitch that one pattern you found, or swap out your jigsaw puzzle for a sudoku book pretty regularly. In addition to the above - both ukuleles and electric keyboards are affordable new and downright cheap used, and both are very easy to teach yourself with online tutorials. I also recommend dance tutorials, if you have the body for it - trying to teach myself the Charleston from YouTube was a red flag that Something Was Wrong With My Legs, tbh. And taking a single adult ballet class let me know it was time for a new hip... dance is diagnostic! Speaking of dance class... go take a class. Check out places like your local library, local cooking school, local STEAM and nature centers, local arts academy, etc, etc... you can learn a new hobby in person, with other people. And, you know... make in-person friends. Spend time in the physical presence of other humans. Check out what kinds of local groups and meetups are out there, too. If you're planning on needing a large bag for all your yarn, one of the local coffee shops in my area hosts a weekly Fiber Arts Meetup. Might as well bring the bag you already packed, get a cuppa something, and work on your project with other yarn artists. If you'd rather play the kind of card games that take more than one person, half my neighborhood plays Euchre at the local Conservation Club on Sunday nights (go ahead, guess which state I'm from). Speaking of in-person time together, I also suggest organizing a group of Analog Bag users to get together once a month or maybe every other month to swap the Analog Bag things they aren't using anymore - lightly used, all pieces included Lego sets and jigsaw puzzles, unused craft and scrapbooking supplies, read books you don't want to hang on to, finished art or crafts you don't want to hang on to, etc, etc... If this sounds really interesting, and you want to know more about how this would work, up in the right-hand corner, under "AuntieLinks," you'll find that aforementioned Signal contact - drop me a message, I have organized swaps big and small, and have lots of tips and advice for new swap organizers! Now, the "Outside Bag" - aka your purse. You're not going to want to haul two bags around everywhere, trust me. Much easier to use a larger purse to store your analog things. Also much easier to carry around a large bag as your primary when you have smaller "ditto bag" pouches to corral all the small things that would otherwise get lost at the bottom of the bag. Jane Birkin may have been okay with losing things to the abyss, but I can't have that thing be my migraine rescue meds, I can't be quite so quirky about carrying a large bag. So, what are the components of an "Analog Purse"? Mp3 player. Nowadays, they're all Bluetooth compatible, so it's not like you need corded headphones/earbuds, but they are a more obvious signal to others that you can't hear them. Book or eReader. Whatever your current read is on. This is something, especially if you're reading a physical copy, that you'll have to remember to move from one bag to the other. If you don't know if you can reliably do that, I recommend keeping a book of short stories or essays in your purse that you can read through one story or essay per appointment wait time, two if they're late. if you're looking to entertain children in waiting rooms, or drunk friends in bars, keeping a book of icebreaker questions, or riddles, or trivia to read out loud is also a good idea. You can usually find them in the novelty books section. A puzzle book, as well as pencils and erasers to work them with. Craft project. Again, if you can't reliably remember to keep switching your main project from bag to bag, keeping one of those little amigurumi, or small cross stitch pattern kits that have everything included in your purse is smart. Travel art supplies/kit. Again, a dedicated mini set for your purse is recommended, separate from your full set at home. A stim toy. Do you really need a full distraction, or do you just need something repetitive to do with your hands? A calculator, especially if you have dyscalculia like I do. A dedicated purse watch. Speaking of Jane Birkin, she looped hers around the handle of her purse so it was handy. A digital or film camera. Don't forget to have a backup memory card, or backup roll of film, too. A planner, and/or a notebook or journal. Here's where my ADHD is going to keep me on my phone - I will likely start keeping a paper planner in 2026. But it doesn't make noises at me like my phone calendar does. You don't have to go full Happy Planner if you don't want to, Dollar Tree has simple annual daily planners. ladies, and men who MENstruate (sorry, I had to do it...) : this is how we keep track of our bodies. We do not use an app. And once our doctors are caught up, we destroy the record at the end of the year. Understand? Again, we're carrying water and emergency meds with us wherever we go now. If you need a smaller travel bottle to carry to keep your bag weight down, legit, go get one. This is, of course, in addition to all the other stuff you already have in your purse - your wallet, keys, purse essentials/emergency kit, makeup bag, and that's more electronics than you're used to, so you'll likely want to keep an extra battery pack and charging cords around, too... like I said, you're going to need a large purse to be analog. There's a reason things like mini backpacks were popular purses in the 2000's. As for where to get these things? Books & music - check out your local library (even if you don't want to borrow, my library has a sale room where you can purchase used media cheap to support the library), local thrift stores, local used & overstock bookstores, flea markets, Little Free Libraries... Puzzle books, jigsaw puzzles, simple journals/notebooks/planners, and stationary - Dollar Tree has been the go-to for years. Remember, you can order by the case and ship-to-store for free from Dollartree.com (they didn't pay me to say any of that, I actually do it myself and find it useful). If a case is too much for you to use, go in on it with your Analog Bag group. Craft projects - Michael's or even Dollar Tree is sure to have what you're looking for, but keep your eyes open while thrifting, so many people donate supplies and kits that seemed like a great idea at the time when they bought it. Art Supplies - Michael's and even Dollar Tree also has these, but basically every mid-sized city has an independent art supplies store that's revered in the creative community, you likely want to go there to get the best supplies at the best price. Alright, you have all my best tips for going analog, now go live your best offline life!

I have a sauteed pan of mushrooms and onions on the back of the stove, and brown rice in the instant pot. That'll all get mixed with the pork sausage I thawed last night, a few flax eggs, and some herbs and be baked in the cast iron bread pan I got for Christmas. When the meatloaf is cooled, I'll slice it down, freeze it on a sheet pan, and store the frozen slices in a bag, so I can grab one and microwave it with a pricked and oiled potato, that'll bake in the time it takes the meatloaf to thaw and reheat. There's one! I'll bake some bread tomorrow with said cast-iron pan, and make stuffing with the leftover Christmas crudite veggies to go with some marinated chicken breasts. There's two! And with just one week to go! I can't believe I'm 8 days and some change out from surgery day already. I'm very glad, my hip is getting really bad. It's starting giving out a lot more, I have to be really careful to be precise with my cane, so it'll support me when needed. And there's only one position I can realistically sleep in right now, which is not good for someone who literally needs to toss and turn to wind down and fall asleep. I've still got a good six weeks of that, but at least I'll know I'll be over the hump in a week. Meanwhile, Penelope is currently burying herself in one of my blankets. Still haven't figured out how to tell her to sleep somewhere else for two weeks...

Whew. Some of the earlier stuff, I'm like "that was just THIS year? The one we're still in??" Considering the state of the world at the end of 2024, we all knew we were in for a doozy with this one. We also knew 2025 was a 9 year (2+0+2+5=9) with the energy of completion, and that it would be followed by 2026 (2+0+2+6=10 1+0=1) with the energy of new beginnings, so. I went into it hanging onto my butt, as Samuel L. Jackson says in Jurassic Park. Within the first 5 months of the year, I had learned something pretty important about my dad's family ancestry, started a recipe blog to record the food I was making myself that was allergy safe, quit social media, and failed Wegovy to start Contrave. Summer was brutal. Between the SCI robbing me of the heat tolerance I used to have, the perimenopause cranking up the sweat machine, and the slightest sunburn coming with a major migraine, I spent the majority of the season inside, hiding in the AC. I've always been a summer girl, so this is a rough switch for me. There was a lot of money drama over the summer, too, that definitely needed to be dealt with before I could move on with anything at all. For the record, that is definitely how to feel extra worthless. It also took the first eight months of the year to figure out the combination of fully unprocessed hair and hair products that work for me and don't have any nut or soy oil in the recipe. I discovered scalp oiling in 2024, 2025 was when I figured out how to retain all the new length from the oiling with homemade chebe butter and steam treatments. Fall was a test of boundaries in a lot of ways, including boundaries I have to set between myself and my own creative and empathic ideas and impulses. That all culminated in the surgery getting scheduled. And then I started this blog. Which has me chattier about myself than I have been in awhile. All written out like that, it was a pretty monumental year, all told. But everything seemed so very close and personal that it felt very slow and stale, while still somehow cruising by at a blessedly fast pace. And for stats, here's the highlights from my Spotify Wrapped:

I allowed my brother and his wife and in-laws to enter the house. It's all my fault. He was especially mad that as he sat on my bed glaring, there was all kinds of boxes and crinkly paper he missed out on. I ruined Crimus. I am the Grinchiest Mumma. He was very fierce to my hand this morning, he's still mad. The rest of us had a lovely Christmas Eve, thank you.

As far as my youngest, floofiest son is concerned, "Crimus" is the funny, sparkly not tree we hang toys on that he can't play with but that he can sleep under on a soft blankie. His name is Milosh, by the way. This is the second post he's been in, and I don't think I've properly introduced him yet... My Christmas Spirit has been a bit lacking this year, for obvious reasons. We usually try to catch at least one holiday concert or show, that didn't happen this year. I haven't really been in the mood for Christmas movies or music, either. It's left me with a lot of time to dwell on all the things that made the holidays special when I was a kid that really don't exist anymore - the family trip to the mall to see Santa, and Tillie the Talking Christmas Tree? The mall that had Tillie was bulldozed and built over years ago now. The Christmas Day road trip to visit family downstate? All deceased. Only one lives down there anymore, and she prefers to come up to the city for holidays. The Christmas movie? Thanks, Covid. I think I'll take boring Christmas to overbooked Christmas, though... I remember how burned out I was during Career Girl Christmases, when my work doubled or tripled as my social obligations did the same. We'd go absolutely overboard with festivity to juice ourselves up to get through it. And then we'd barrel right into events season, it wasn't like we had a break afterwards. I definitely miss being functional and capable and certainly miss having a steady paycheck, but there are a lot of toxic elements of corporate culture I don't miss at all. Anyway, here we are at Christmas Eve Eve, and that went by a lot faster than expected! Turns out blogging is a great hyperfocus to timesuck into, heh. This is also t-minus 13 days to new hip. Thank heavens, it's getting really bad, and I am weary . By the way, the best way to win Whameggedon is to not go out and not listen to the radio 😅😅 Speaking of, it's almost time for my playlist to shine!! A little history here - the real "War on Christmas" is my family's Christmas music preferences. My mom wants it as traditional as possible - 1960's Mormon Tabernacle Choir traditional. My grandma would prefer a little poppier - your Andy Williams, and Bing Crosby with The Andrews Sisters. My dad despises all of that, and will only listen to Mannheim Steamroller, Trans Siberian Orchestra, and Lindsey Stirling. Meanwhile, me and my brother like weird novelty songs that my mom has always claimed have ruined Christmas completely for her. So, I made a playlist for our family's Christmas Eve celebrations, where the first couple of hours is a mix acceptable to the older half of the family, and the second part is for the younger. I also went ahead and made the second half play you through all of Whameggedon to full immunity. Happy Hannukah to all! Also, there is no Mariah on this playlist. There is one cover, it’s a “good” one. One song about how that song ruined Christmas, too.

I am aware that blog is on hiatus, but my mom keeps bringing home bagels that I can eat, and cream cheese that I can't. Not an issue with an Everything bagel, I always have the fixins for hummus around, but she brought home brown sugar cinnamon, and blueberry... I've never been a huge fan of the brownie hummus the way most people make it, but I started throwing ingredients in my food processor, and... ended up replicating the flavor of Aldi's Jaffa Cakes exactly. Not what I was expecting, but I'll take it! Check it out here . Okay. I hate the life story format, too, so I just drop the recipe and a link to my Ko-Fi in each blog post. No ads, not even pictures. Heading over to my Ko-Fi link to leave me a tip in appreciation would be awesome of you.

I probably should have made this appointment when I didn’t notice the ingrown toenail until I ripped it out and it started bleeding everywhere this past summer. No pain, or sensation whatsoever at any point during all of this. A couple of days ago now, I learned as I was grooming my toenails that I have no feeling in my toes anymore, to the point where I sliced the nailbeds of 4/5 nails open with the nail file. So, now I see my new podiatrist on February 2nd to talk about future pedicures. Her first available was my surgery day, that wasn’t happening 😅😅 If I do lose my Medicaid in 2027 thanks to the Big Beautiful Bill’s work requirements, this is going to get very tricky. I’m already trying to figure out how to budget $275/month for my needed medications, and I’m preparing to give up my migraine rescue medication and quarterly steroid injections for my sciatic nerve damage. But now, I have to figure out how to not butcher my foot whenever my toenails need a trim? I wonder if I can have them removed in the next 12 months…