Yesterday morning was my Pre-Op appointment with Surgical Optimization, and I don't remember one of these being so difficult to personally process. If you've never done this before, you go in to meet with a bunch of RN and NP's to go over general health and fitness, get fitted for your mobility aid, get your pre-op instructions for carb drinks and itchy body wipes, and get told when to stop taking what medications before you go under. I told you this would veer pretty quickly into TMI territory - my birth control pill is a clot risk. I have to stop taking it two weeks before surgery, and I have a question in on MyChart as to how long I have to stay off of it, considering I'll be on baby aspirin for a month after surgery to make sure my blood stays nice and thin. Now, I'm a 43 year old asexual person with hypermobile joints, I am not worried about any babies happening in this time off the pill. But I am on the pill because the fibromyalgia and the hypermobile joints made even the lightest menstrual cramps a disabling agony. And since the Possibility of Baby does not concern me in the least as an asexual person, with my gynecologist's blessing I have been skipping the placebo pills and taking the hormones constantly to stop my periods altogether. I have basically tucked my uterus away and let it gather dust while I went about my life effectively uterus-less. I did have one notable bleed experience after my last spine surgery, as I had a cerebrospinal fluid leak at the surgery site as well, and that was the last time I had to worry about a period. But now, I get a period for Christmas. In an ironically full-circle way, I got my first period on 12/21/93, at 11 years old. How do I remember this so precisely? One, that was also the day we got pet bunnies for the first time, and two, it was the winter solstice, which I'm pretty sure my mom made a point to mention as a science thing to her homeschooled brood as we were heading home in the dark before dinnertime with our new rabbits, that that was the darkest night of the year. Also, definitely still bleeding on Christmas morning, poor little me. How am I doing one of the most stereotypically "old person" things ever, and yet I feel like such a young teenager about this part? I just desperately hope Santa hurries up with the delivery if it's going to happen, because I have to go off all anti-inflammatories on 12/27, a week later. Meloxicam is the only thing keeping my pain reasonable right now. Before I doubled my dose, tho? A constant 8.5. This is not the kind of pain that comes and goes, or gives you any kind of reprieve, otherwise. If my uterus decides it wants to join the pain party then, I'm fucked. I also have to give up the Naltrexone three days before, which my friend just texted me to let me know counteracts opioids, which she found out through some awful personal experience. Knowing that, I might just drop it with the NSAIDS... They give you a big ol printout that they highlight with you about everything you take and when you need to stop taking it before surgery, as well as all of your post-op appointments. My advice: choose a color in your calendar app for everything about surgery, and enter it in with alerts. When last dose day comes (mark THAT, not the day after), put the now-verboten med out of reach, out of its usual spot after you take your last dose. I'm sure everyone has some version of "place where I put my daily meds" and "place where I store overstock until I get to it," I usually move said med from the former place to the latter. Also, put your post-op appointments in. It's nice to look at your calendar and be able to see at a glance, by color, when you have an action day. It also means you can eyeball appointments you should cancel and move, like I had to do with my next spine injection. tbh, I'm hoping this implant will re-align my lower back to where I won't need the injections anymore, but we'll see. My urinary checkup may need to be moved, too, again, I'm hoping a new hip joint fixes that, too... we'll see.... Also, name suggestions needed for the new walker, which I got yesterday. It's older brother, a rollator, is named Kevin. I'll be using it for six weeks post-op. So, basically, don't expect me to be going too far too fast for six weeks.

I’m watching the Joint Replacement Class video… no Meloxicam for 7 days before surgery. That was bad enough before spine surgery, without Meloxicam right now, I’m at a constant 8.5 pain level with my hip. Deep breaths, deep breaths… Also, no pets in bed with you the night before surgery. Again, someone needs to inform Penelope of this, she’s not going to take it very well…

I need to start meal prepping. Yes, this early, I want to make sure I pace myself so I don’t wear myself out - my battery drains real fast right now. I’m aiming to put up 4 portions of 3 meals, for a total of 12 meals… I don’t need to put up for the entire recovery, my family does know how to cook to my diet, but I want to have some convenience comfort meals ready anyway. If you follow my other blog, you know that I can’t eat dairy, egg, soy, peanuts, tree nuts, or tomatoes. You may think this limits my diet, but if you follow my other blog, you know that I eat Very Well. I’m also thinking about the nutrient content of the meals, and making sure they have lots of ingredients high in things to help me recover, like iron and calcium. Not too hard, the way I eat. So, let’s play a game. Pick 3: Smoky pinto beans & cornbread Cajun-style red beans & rice Lentil “meat” loaf with a baked potato Mujaddara with lentils, rice, & caramelized onions and a side salad “Buddha Bowl” with rice, grains, beans, and roasted veggies. Coconut curry chicken & spinach over rice Marinated chicken in the cast iron skillet w/ cornbread stuffing Kofta kebabs with a rice pilaf Sardine & white bean croquettes with a side salad You see my dilemma. Seriously, comment your 3 below, I need advice here.

So, how do you pre-surgery panic? I am well medicated against panic attacks, they have to be really, really bad to break through the med barrier and manifest as a full-on attack. I was expecting this recent major medical malady, so I haven't gone into full panic mode yet... but the nausea and vomiting has started. Especially at night. Now, the first thing I was taught at Fibromyalgia Clinic is that the first rule of Fibro Club is that we do not talk about Fibro Club. Discussing your symptoms in any detail with anyone but your care team in a clinical setting puts your focus on your symptoms, and focusing on your symptoms regularly makes your brain solidify them in as normal more and more. Actively keeping a blog about a pain condition goes completely against everything I've ever been taught about pain management. So, I figured that if I was going to have any psychosomatic reactions to the stress - like the spontaneous pukes - I'd have them as I'm writing blog posts and actively focusing on my pain and my surgery plans. Nope. I'm waking up to it at 2am. Great. My mom is going to make me ride in her car with a puke bowl in my lap until after surgery now 😅😅

I'm from the Midwest, and both of my grandfathers are military veterans - one in WWII, one in the Korean War - so "Dopp Kit" is one of those traditions and terminologies that got persistently handed down in my family, much like calling chipped dry beef in cream sauce served over toast "shit on a shingle." But I digress. A Dopp Kit is a particular design of men's toiletry bags used for travel. Nowadays, there are many travel kits out there, and the kind that fold open and hang over a shower head are usually the most popular. But, as someone who does all the travel, from air to road tripping, from four-star hotels to rustic campsites to hospital beds, I prefer Charles Doppelt's general design... as a matter of fact, you saw my Dopp Kit and how I packed it for my hip surgery last January. Now, you're probably wondering why I don't just drop the $10-15 for one of those single use, TSA-approved pre-packed toiletry bags they sell like just about everyone else does. Thing is, I handle my hygiene needs, especially when it comes to my hair care, a bit differently than most. And I'm not particularly fond of single use items if I can help it. Besides, I prefer keeping a kit on hand. Medical emergencies aren't usually planned, and as someone with more than one bathroom, all of them shared, being able to grab a pack to shower or spiff myself up in the bathroom I don't usually use is incredibly handy. And I'm ready for a spontaneous overnight somewhere if needed. This is the exact bag I have, I love it (not sponsored, I really do), and I will show you why. I'll also show you how I keep it packed and organized, and what I use everything for (a lot of it has multiple uses). The Main Compartment Right now, I have a mix of travel size and full size bottles and tubes because I'm not planning on air travel in the foreseeable future. If I do plan to board a plane, I'd decant and label what I'd need to, and pack this in my carry-on. Speaking of labels on decanted products, they're important, especially if you'll have any interactions with TSA agents, Border Patrol, or Park Rangers. Micellar Water face cleansing wipes. If you're wondering where the pack of Micellar Water full-body deodorant wipes went from the hospital stay in January, they've been moved to my hygiene pouch in my adventure bag, which will also be with me wherever I am if I'm travelling. Full-body lotion. Makes more sense than packing a face lotion and a separate hand & body lotion. Whole Body Deodorant. Leave-in conditioner/detangler specially formulated for curly hair. Tangle Teezer Mini hairbrush 2oz jar with my favorite leave-in creme conditioner decanted in. 2oz jar with kokum/mangosteen butter whipped with full spectrum vitamin e oil. one of the most multi-purpose additions to my kit - can be used as a hair cuticle seal, a nighttime face slug, and a layer against friction anywhere skin meets skin. In the three large side pockets: 2oz Amber glass bottles with mist tops filled with: HOCL: antibacterial, can be used as a hand sanitizer, skin deodorant, fabric deodorant, first aid disinfectant, surface disinfectant, also can be sprayed on the face as an anti-inflammatory. 1 teaspoon Dettol to the rest of the bottle filled with water (it works out to about 30% concentration) : antiseptic, can be used as a hand sanitizer, skin deodorant, fabric deodorant, surface disinfectant. 92% Isopropyl Alcohol with six drops lavender essential oil and four drops clove essential oil: antiseptic, can be used as a hand sanitizer (that removes cannabis resin, just sayin'), skin deodorant, fabric deodorant, insect repellent. 2oz bottle Dr. Bronner's Castile Soap. Refillable from the big bottle... those little bottles are ridiculously expensive for a little bottle. Q-Tips stored in an old, cleaned-out prescription bottle to keep them clean. A silk scrunchie. A handful of bobby pins. A roller bottle of perfume oil. Evening In Paris, if you're curious. A small pair of fingernail clippers and a pair of tweezers. In the zippered side pocket: Migraine rescue medication. A small mirror. Band-aids. Alcohol swabs. Lip balm. Sleep earplugs, in a case attached to the zipper pull. The Main Side Pocket This is the part that makes me absolutely geeky about this bag. The side pouch is perfectly set up for dental hygiene! A toothbrush, with a travel hygiene cover. Protip: after using the brush and case, give them each a squirt or two of HOCL. Individual-use toothpaste packs. Individual-use mouthwash packs. Dental floss. The Other Side Pocket It's flat to the bag and open mesh, and the only thing that really fits there is an African Net Sponge. But, it's a fabulous place for said African Net Sponge, considering the nature of said African Net Sponge. And that's that. Sun products and menstrual products both go into the aforementioned Adventure Bag, and if I'm carrying for a full period, I'm carrying a full pack of Tena pads in my luggage, too. Bonus: How to not shower and still not stink! A very useful life skill for anyone who camps, road trips, or requires the frequent-ish hospital stay! Hair: The most important hair hygiene tip if you have to go longer than normal between washes is to keep it detangled, regularly brushed or combed if your hair is strong enough to withstand that. Basically, keep the oils moving down the hair shaft regularly. If it starts to smell before you can wash it, spray it with HOCL, especially at the scalp and roots. For hairstyles; loose, high ponytails or "messy buns" with a silk scrunchie, or double cornrows braided tight enough to keep them done but not so tight to pull on the scalp are the best, whether you're wrapping your hair or not. Also remember to keep your hair hydrated between washes! A mist bottle of water followed by a few sprays of a detangler/liquid leave-in with your detangling at least every other day will keep your hair healthy between good soakings. If your hair is going to be exposed to sun, wind, or salt, don't forget to protect it with a good layer of kokum/mangosteen butter & vitamin E before going out. You can wash it out with the Dr. Bronner's soap when you're ready. Armpits: This is a three step process: Wipe down with Micellar Water wipe - the deodorant wipes are preferable, but the face wipes will work. Pick your poison - HOCL, Dettol, or Alcohol & essential oils all make a good pre-deodorant prep. My favorite for this is HOCL. Spray 2-4 times directly on your armpits. Apply a drop of Whole Body Deodorant to each armpit. Congratulations, you're socially acceptable again. If you need to touch up while you're out, carry a little bottle of whatever you used in step 2 with you. All 3 sprays in step 2 can also be sprayed directly onto the armpits of your shirts, if the fabric is holding onto the BO scent. Crotch: Wipe yourself down well with a micellar water deodorant wipe or two. Remember to get into the labial folds and down by the urethrea. Do this at least once per day until you can shower again. All of the sprays in Armpits Step 2 can be sprayed directly on the crotch of your panties or pants if they're holding onto odors - HOCL will be the gentlest to use if you're particularly sensitive. Feet: Same three step process as your armpits.

After 10 years of Tent Camping While Disabled, I have a gear collection and my own setup down pat. And since I could use a new packing list after a forced two years away from the campgrounds, might as well make this blog content while I'm at it, right? I should point out that this is the car camping in state campgrounds kind of camping. It's music festival camping (which is how I got into camping in the first place). It's kind of half between rustic camping and "glamping." And I'm also disabled in ways where I do nothing alone, so this is not a list intended for solo camping. It's also not "aesthetic" camping. If I'm already packing in all this stuff, I'm not about to pack a bunch of extra shit I can't actually use for anything practical. This may look like a lot, but it generally fits in a mid-sized sedan's trunk and backseat. The following is my advice on the kind of gear to acquire, and where to find it. For a packing checklist, I have one of those, too - click here. It also includes a grocery list, and recipes for from-scratch, nutritious, generally allergy-safe camp food. The Campsite Structure: Instant-up tent. Yes, you do want to pay more for the "sets up in 2 minutes or less" tent (it's more like 3-5 minutes, but that's still absurdly fast for a tent). You also want to make sure you can stand up fully inside the tent, and don't have to stoop much to enter the tent. I have the version of this tent that Walmart sold 10 years ago, and I'm betting I get another 10 years at least out of it. 10x10' canopy. While the ideal for me is having my own sleeping tent, each campsite only needs one canopy. So, if your friend has one they're bringing, you don't need one of your own. Your Camp Chair. A crucial selection. You cannot sit in the cheap collapsible chairs if you have a bad back or are older than 35. Also needs to have enough of a recline for comfort (I'm not a fan of the Captain's Chairs, the backs are too straight), and armrests to lift yourself out of the chair. You may also want to bring a lumbar support cushion (and remember to return it to your tent if your butt isn't on it). Optional: a folding side table. Much better than setting things in the dirt at your feet and risking stepping on them or knocking them over when you get out of your chair in the dark. A good camp lantern. Not as crucial in a place with campfires, but again, places like music festival tent cities get dark. A small butane torch. The kind you use to heat a dab nail. You can start a campfire with a standard lighter and some paper plates or cardboard/newspaper, but it's a hell of a lot faster and easier with a torch. A (fully charged!) waterproof Bluetooth speaker, and downloaded music playlists or an MP3 player. Inside the Tent: An air mattress with a 2-3' rise and collapsible internal supports, or a camp cot with a standard bed height. This is what usually keeps disabled people from camping - sleeping on the ground or even low to the ground is a no-go, because you can't get off the floor. The solution is pretty simple - bring a bed. At least one good sleeping bag. And don't expect the temperature rating to match the actual product performance. If it's going to be in the low 50's at night, you'll want the bag rated for sleeping under the stars in Antarctica. And you'll want at least one extra blanket on top of that. And don't forget your pillow! A waterproof bag or tote with your clothes, electronics, dopp kit, medications, etc. A large cooler for your food, and grocery bags or a tote of any non-chill perishables (crackers, bread, etc). Why inside your tent? Bears. Drunks. Kinda the same thing, really. Inside your car is even better, if you're allowed to have it at your campsite. A small, watertight tote (18-30 qt) stocked with non-perishable pantry items. Inside the tent or car for the same reason as above. A Camp/Compostable Toilet. Yes, you can get a "shower tent" to pitch next to your sleeping tent for this. I still recommend getting a toilet setup you can keep inside your tent if possible, simply because if you pee multiple times per night, and it's raining (which it always seems to do on a camping trip), it's pretty miserable struggling with tent zippers in the rain while you're trying to hold your bladder. Remember to bring whatever material your toilet needs to work (cat litter, cedar shavings, etc), and don't skimp on the trash bags you get for this purpose. Need help getting on/off the toilet? Get a standard medical walker, and put it behind the toilet, so you're sitting inside the walker and can use the handles for support. That was one of the handier recovery tips I got from my nurse navigator at hip pre-op. The Camp Mess: A potable water container. A gas camp stove + fuel. A campfire grill, or small propane or charcoal grill. with charcoal & accelerant, which you'll likely want on hand regardless if the campsite comes with a grill. An 18-30 qt tote filled with the following: The longest pair of BBQ tongs you can find. A skillet, a sauce-pot, and a kettle or percolator. Preferably cast iron, or stainless steel. They sell camp mess kits for this purpose, but around 98% are cheap non-stick. I recommend a collection of thrifted or inherited misfits instead. If you get a kettle without a percolator for coffee and you don't drink instant, you'll want a non-electric way to brew your morning coffee, like a pour-over system in a sturdy material. Pot holders, and both silicone spatulas and flipping spatulas. A cutting board, and all-purpose cooking knife with a blade guard. Measuring spoons and cups. A can opener. Tableware. Wheat Straw Dinner Wear Sets are more affordable, lighter, and more durable than most mess kits sold to campers. Just assign a spare travel coffee cup to your camping gear, it's one of the easiest things to forget. Same for an insulated wine glass, if you're a wine camper. One of those sponges on a wand you fill with dish soap. Paper towels, disinfectant wipes, antibacterial hand soap & dish soap Containers for leftovers. Heavy-Duty Aluminum Foil and parchment paper. Trash bags. Optional: a 5'-6' folding table. If you're at a campsite, they usually come with a picnic table. If you're at a music festival, you may want to consider a table for your mess setup. For CPAP Tent Campers: I'm not a CPAP user myself, but from the folks I know who do camp and use a CPAP, you seem to have three options: Invest in or borrow a camp generator. They are a hefty cost ($200-500 on the low end), but very worth it if you're a frequent camper or music-festival goer with a CPAP and can't RV. Run an extension cord to your car's battery. Most modern tents have special ports for this purpose, so you don't have to keep a door or window cracked to let the rain in with the juice. You can also get a car camping kit so you can sleep in your car, instead of in a tent. Set your tent up in the RV side of the park. The spaces are significantly more expensive per night, but each comes with electrical hookups (and your own water spigot). Where to get all of this stuff? If this is you reading this list: Legit. It's a lot. There's a reason most campers got into it because they came from a camping family. Unless you're a backpacker, there's a ton of gear involved... not like backpacking doesn't involve a ton of gear, too, they're just not packing in an entire functional kitchen. So. Back up to the question in the section title. I promise, you don't have to get it all right away, or buy it from some boutique sporting goods store for big cash. Chances are, you're camping with a more experienced camper your first few times out, which means you only really need to worry about bed and bedding, food, light, and your clothes and personal supplies - they likely have everything else, and you can collect your own gear slowly. The smartest first gear purchases are an air mattress or cot, a good sleeping bag, a good camp chair, and a headlamp. Ask around your friends and family. They may have equipment they can loan you, sell to you, or just give you to get it out of their garage. Many libraries have a "Library of Things," a loaner program for useful items most people don't invest in to keep around and store between uses - like camping equipment. Check with your library, and see what you can borrow. Check Facebook Marketplace, or your local classifieds for sales on used equipment. Especially check end of season, and after any particularly cold, rainy summer weekends in your area to catch the "fuck it, I'm done" sales. I know, it's Walmart... but Walmart's Ozark Trail camping and outdoors brand is widely known as some of the best performing camping equipment out there, even though it's also usually the lowest priced. Especially check out Labor Day and winter holiday sales. I highly recommend NOT buying camping equipment from Shein or Temu... but if you have a source for legitimate Asian-made camping equipment, especially those inflatible tents, do it - and please share your source with me! And if you were wondering where the ice and firewood was on either of these lists - you buy ice when you gas up to hit the road to the campsite, and you buy the firewood when you get to the campsite - it's illegal in most places to transport firewood, thanks to transporting invasive species along with.

While I'm over here reminiscing on Millennial Summers of Yore, remember when Evian launched the mist bottle of Evian water? That's it, it's just Evian in an aluminum mist bottle. And it was THE beach and gym bag item of the summer the year it was launched, probably somewhere in the 2017-2018 years. Y'all, they sell that stuff for $3 an ounce. It's... water. Mineral water, yes, I have sea salt in my cabinet, too. Here's how the trail of innovation happened... I bought a continuous mist bottle for my hair care. I needed one, singular. Buying a single continuous mister is dumb expensive compared to buying them in sets - so I got two, 12oz, I think, one white, one black. The other was a spare. There's a certain character in the TV show Euphoria that reminds me strongly of a coworker of mine, who was the first person I knew to discover the Evian mist. So, I was half watching a Euphoria recap (I don't actually watch the show, I just follow a fair amount of commentary YouTubers who watch the show) as I was packing my summer bag, that for some reason made me think of the Evian spray trend, and reminded me that I have an extra continuous mist bottle on hand. So, I filled it with un-boujee tap water from my personal groundwater well along with 1/4 teaspoon of Himalayan Pink Salt dissolved in hot water from the same source, and stuck it in the refrigerator. Since I'll have a cooler with me wherever now, I can toss the bottle in my bag before heading into the heat, and have a cold mist spray. I believe I was brushing my teeth when for some reason my brain drifted to how crystal charged water was also a trend at the time. I believe 2026 is the 20th anniversary of my attunement to Usui Reiki Master-Teacher status. Now, back in 2006, Reiki was still a closed practice. The symbols were only put to paper long enough to teach your students, before the papers were burned. There was only one manual, the one William Rand wrote, and I had to get it directly from my own teacher, who got it directly from William Rand as one of his early students. Now, I'm personally absolutely pissed that Reiki was opened to abuse by the masses, so I'm sticking to the 2006 rules when I tell you what I'm doing - as part of the Usui Mastery training, you learn to use a very specific energy gridding and storage system with clear quartz crystals. I'm using that gridding system to pump one of my smaller clear quartz points full of Reiki energy. Then, into the mist bottle to infuse my water. I went with the black top for this mostly because I didn't want to carry around something that looked too grubby with fingerprints. If you were wondering if there was a color significance. Now, do I also want to add a splash of holy water blessed by an Exorcist? Yeah, I have that. I'm wondering if it's overkill, or just enough for 2026 😅😅 Do keep in mind that I'm not ingesting this water, just spraying it on my skin and hair. And possibly also on people I suspect are actually demons. "Go ahead officer, test it, it's just salt water. I have no idea why that lady combusted when the mist hit her... 😅😅" Considering I know that the state of Reiki these days is... not good. And considering I know that clear quartz is very neutral when it comes to the energy it can hold. And considering I know I need to fundraise for clothing swap needs, as well as for my own financial needs, I'll be offering charged crystals for this purpose along with my zines wherever I set up to fundraise, if anyone else wants to make their own Whimsy Water. I even have my recipe cards mocked up to go with the crystals already! And I'll be back with reports on anything I notice while using it this summer.

Beyond that being objectively wrong, and my having a very autistic understanding of the concepts of truth and justice... Everyone's always pointed to my Libra stellium between my 2nd and 3rd houses, with Jupiter in the 3rd house party but with one toe over the line at the 1st degree of Scorpio, 20 degrees away from my moon in the 4th house, not to mention the Leo Ascending, and Sun and Mercury in Gemini in my 10th house, to explain why I am what/who I am. Communication and community building is kinda my fate. And you'd think this would make me the most beloved person ever, with so many strong, positive placements. But in reality? Everyone hates me. Neurotypicals hate how my brain works, jealous 304's hate my creativity and influence. People will love me for my kindness and integrity one day, and believe the worst things they hear about me the next. I've literally survived death curses. And it wasn't any TikTok witches casting them. I've always been a mirror, by the way. It's that whole natal moon in Scorpio thing. You're always going to see yourself reflected in me, whether that's your strengths or your weaknesses. Which means I get blamed for the things other people are ashamed of about themselves. And others believe the slander because they see their own guilt in me, too. I'd love it if people would come to me with what they hear, and not believe it until they hear it directly from me... but they never will, because again, mirror, it's too easy to just believe the rumors and scapegoat me. And you have to put up with Gal Gadot "acting" into you... Thanks to tonight's new moon in the later degrees of Taurus, and an astrologer's urging to compare tonight's heavy player, the fixed star Algol (you may know her as Medusa or Maa Kali), to where she's located in your birth chart. So, I load my birth chart up, and zoom in on the 26th degree of Taurus, where Algol hangs out... And Chiron, the Wounded Healer, is ope, just sliding past her, uncomfortably touching butts as they squeeze past each other, as you do in the best of tight circumstances, butt (heh) being a centaur makes that extra hard... yeah, bro's at the 24th degree. And they're both in my 10th house, the one that rules career and public perception. I'm laughing and not raging only because the image of Chiron squeezing past Medusa while apologizing profusely and trying to avert his eyes is pretty funny. But that would be why I'm either slandered, stolen from, or passed over or all of the above at every single turn. Including some very specific instances. This would also be why my Chiron return in July is so intimidating, heh. It's not just Chiron. And when it comes to how to innovate my way out of this... I'm going to have to figure out how to make that natal Mercury retrograde making speedy boi run away from my natal Gemini sun and towards my awkwardly butt-touching doom bringers in Taurus work for me. Something tells me a blog where I write under a personal brand, and not my own name, is going to help with that.

Here's a hyper-regional reference for you: use an orange slice and dilute it just enough and no one will know it's not an Oberon... Fellow Millennials, remember when rosé wine was the symbol of Summer 2015? When all of us 20- and 30-somethings, and by "all" I generally mean feminine women, were wearing short white shift dresses with gladiator sandals and big, floppy straw hats with giant designer sunglasses to brunch, where we spent three hours gossiping over chilled bubbly rosé while nibbling on locally sourced asparagus and goat cheese mini quiches? 11 (gulp) years later, we have to worry about things like hangovers and medication interactions and friends in AA, and focusing the summer around an alcoholic beverage doesn't really work anymore... Good thing iced tea has taken over my refrigerator, just in time for porch drinks season. It all started with a 50% off sale on a set of three half-gallon mason jars with three pour spout tops, and a whole lot of old tea that needed to be consumed. Now, I have two jars of iced tea going all the time - one caffeinated, one non-caffeinated. I sweeten it lightly like the yankee bitch I am - 1/3 cup of brown sugar, typically, which is 2 teaspoons for every 8oz. Here's my recipe: 5-6 teabags, or 5-6 teaspoons of loose-leaf tea 1/3 cup brown sugar 3 cups hot water, just off the boil 5 cups cold water Equipment: Half-gallon mason jar (pour spout top is incredibly convenient, but not needed), or pitcher rated for hot water use. Long handled spoon. Infuser pot, if using loose-leaf tea. Method: If you're using teabags, place them in the mason jar with the brown sugar, then add the hot water, stir gently, and set a timer for five minutes. After the five minutes have gone by, use the long-handled spoon to carefully remove the teabags. Fill the rest of the jar with the cold water, and give the tea a stir again before capping off the jar and placing it in the refrigerator to chill, or serving over ice. If you're using loose leaf tea, place the tea in the infuser, and fill your infuser pot with the hot water. Set a timer for five minutes. After five minutes, place the brown sugar in the mason jar, and pour the hot brewed tea into the jar, over the sugar. Stir gently to dissolve the sugar before filling the rest of the jar with cold water, and stirring again. Cap off the jar and place it in the refrigerator to chill, or serve immediately over ice. Easy, right? And there's so much variety to choose from! Here's a few of my family's favorites, all brewed to the instructions above: Iced Chai Latte: 5-6 bags/teaspoons of your favorite chai (I've been using 2 tablespoons) Per Serving: 1/8-1/4 cup oat milk, or full-fat coconut milk, whisked smooth. Spearmint Sekanjabin: 3 bags/teaspoons spearmint leaves 2 bags/teaspoons green tea (or fully spearmint, for caffeine-free) Per Serving: 2-3 tablespoons raw apple cider vinegar, or to taste (with the "mother") Hibiscus & Honey: 5-6 bags/teaspoons hibiscus blossom instead of 1/3 cup brown sugar, sweeten with 1/4 cup raw honey Barley & Maple: 3 tablespoons roasted barley (you need an infuser pot for this one) instead of 1/3 cup brown sugar, sweeten with 1/3 cup real maple syrup, grade B if possible Allow this tea to steep 10-15 minutes before transferring to your mason jar or pitcher Per Serving: Make it an optional latte with 1/8-1/4 cup oat milk Arnold Palmer: 5 bags/teaspoons black or green tea Juice of 2-3 large lemons, preferably a sweeter variety After removing the teabags or transferring to the mason jar and dissolving the sugar, first add the cold water to the jar, leaving room for the lemon juice. Stir the cold water into the tea before stirring the lemon juice in. And may you drink all of these while relaxing on a beach or at a pool... or from the comfort of the AC 😅😅 As for whether this will take on frozé levels - by around July 2015, all the wine tasting rooms had installed slushie machines - that'll depend on whether I find myself with one of those home slushie makers... As for what I'm listening to while I'm sipping all of these iced infusions, my playlist of summer drops is shaping up beautifully. This is a good year for music! 🫶🏼

Fun Auntie Fact: I was born overlooking the opening ceremonies of what at the time was my country's largest volunteer-run arts festival. It's sadly defunct starting this year, but it used to kick off festivals celebrating all of the ethnic and creative enclaves of the city, from a Pow Wow the very next weekend, straight through to Kasimir Pulaski Days at the beginning of October. Another Fun Auntie Fact: I started my career as a professional tarot card reader in a tent at regional renaissance festivals. The person who taught me both how to read the cards, and how to run a tarot business, taught me how to assemble a hygiene bag as she was teaching me what the minor arcana were. It's just something renaissance faire vendors know they need. It's handed-down knowledge from anyone with repeated experience with port-o-potties. When I wasn't in a tent at a renaissance festival, I was going to outdoor music festivals of all sizes. You get the idea. I've done this before. If you are packing yourself a backpack for "a day out" at an event or vacation destination, whether that means you'll be leaving your home, your hotel, or your campsite, here's what Auntie recommends bringing with you, based on decades of experience. I'm even going to tell you the why! First of all, let's talk about what you should be wearing with your daypack: A brimmed hat - fairly obvious, you don't want the sun beating down on your head all day, and you want to shade your eyes at minimum, preferably your ears and neck, too. Sunglasses. If the hat brim is enough for you, awesome. Don't opt for sunglasses without a hat, even if you have a full head of hair, your scalp will not thank you for the burn. Light layers, loose enough to breathe, not so loose to take a dip in the loo. You want to keep the heat of the direct sun off your skin, not just the UV rays. Consider UPF 50 performance fabric. Good socks. Compression socks are smart. So are UPF 50 compression leggings. Well broken-in shoes or boots with good ankle and arch support, and cushioning inserts if needed. If they're leather shoes or boots, consider sealing and waterproofing them before the event. There's a reason rubber rain boots are so popular at big music festivals, even when it's not raining... and that's the port-a-potties, and the general state of the beer-and-piss fueled mud pits you find randomly on the grounds, usually near the port-o-potties. And the daypack itself, which is actually a two-bag affair: A small pouch worn cross-body, or a small fanny pack. This acts as your purse and hygiene bag. A 20-30L backpack, preferably the kind with a space for a 1L water bladder & bite valve straw. So, what to pack? Let's start out with that cross-body bag... Your State ID/Driver's License or Passport, or however you identify yourself to buy age-restricted things. Your money and access to your money. Don't bring every penny to your name to any of these events, thieves do work all these places. Just what you need to function. Tuck the above two things into an inner pocket, for easier accessibility for you, and far less accessibility to thieves. Lip Balm. It's easy to forget, and you will be miserable without it. Go for the kind with SPF. Hand sanitizer. Whatever brand you use. I triple down with 1 oz bottles of HOCL (which I can also use as a quick skin and fabric deodorant) and prepared Dettol (which I can also use as a surface disinfectant). A pocket pack of facial tissues. Wet Wipes. I like Summer's Eve, but there's tons of brands out there, individually wrapped and in travel dispensers. Toilet seat covers. Again, you can find them individually wrapped, or in packs. A travel-sized stick of deodorant. Don't be that person. A tiny jar or tube of Vaseline or Aquaphor, and a tiny bottle of cornstarch-based dusting powder for skin chafing. Menstrual products. Even if you don't have your own uterus, it's cool to carry some for the people around you who do, just in case you can be a period hero. Condoms, for similar reasons as above. Safe sex is more important than ever nowadays, for a whole lot of reasons. Consider a fresh pair of underwear, in a baggie. Just in case. EXPERT LEVEL: if you were not equipped with outer-facing genitalia, and you'd prefer to wee in the urinal instead of trying to cover or hover over the hole... there are devices that are like fanny funnels that you hold between your legs to direct the stream into the urinal. They do involve a learning curve, and bringing cleaning equipment in the box with you, usually wipes or a water bottle. And in that backpack: Water. If you don't have a water bladder-style backpack (I got mine from Aldi probably 12 years ago now), get yourself a good, functional water bottle, whatever that is for you. And make sure you know where the refill stations are, especially since some places will make you empty it before entering, to make sure it's not vodka. PLEASE remember that a lot of mental health medications make you incredibly intolerant to heat, and make you sweat excessively, to the point of faster dehydration. You will need more water and more rest if you're taking these medications. There's been a lot of discourse about the actual health benefits and risks of drinking electrolytes lately, and while I am a fan of a no flavor, no sweetener, low sodium daily electrolyte supplement, summer festivals and theme park trips are a place where the real sugar, high sodium brands like Liquid IV are actually appropriate. You'll want to throw your favorite powder stick brand in your bag, as well. Or single-serving packs or small bottles of raw sugar and Himalayan Pink or Celtic Sea Salt. Also, while you will likely be eating from food vendors the whole day, you'll still want fortifying snacks on hand like GORP, dried fruit, jerky, etc. You'll be burning more calories than your body is used to. Sunblock. And you need to be applying it every two hours. Put an alarm on your phone. Have sun and water accountability buddies. Pack after-sun, just in case. If you wear makeup, look into a makeup fixing spray with SPF coverage you can carry around for re-application. Medications. For needed & emergency medications, make sure you have very obvious, laminated instructions for administering your medications in a life-threatening event where you go non-verbal attached to your meds, and keep them in a very obvious place in your bag (possibly in your cross-body). For OTC meds, bring your favorite pain medication, favorite allergy medication, and favorite bad stomach medication. Depending on where you are, you may also want a small bottle of bug repellent, and those ampules of medicine you use on bites and stings to take the pain and itch off. Blister Pack. They can happen, no matter how you prepare. Pack bandages, alcohol swabs for cleaning the skin for the adhesive to stick to, and an extra pair of socks. A rain poncho. A charging bank + any charging cables or batteries/packs you may need. Remember to charge the bank the night before any outing. Any of the following: a hand fan, a battery-operated fan with or without a water bottle mister attached, a clack fan, a neck fan, a cooling towel, etc. A digital or film camera. Whether you use it as your main, or a backup for your phone, it's nice to have two places to record from. A spare bathing suit. YMMV, but if the area is near a beach, the after-party host has a hot tub, the hotel has a pool, the theme park has a water park area, etc, you'll be glad you came prepared to get wet, even if you don't intend to get wet while walking out the door. A Turkish towel. Go ahead, make your Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy joke now, get it out of your system. Okay, so you can use a Turkish towel as a towel to dry off after a rainstorm or a swim, or to fold up to sit on a wet seat without getting your butt wet, to cover a skin-blistering metal bench or leather car seat, as a picnic or beach blanket, as a sun-blocking light layer over your skin, etc, etc. It's genuinely useful to carry, for such an easily portable thing. Will you be out past sunset? Will you want to bring a sweatshirt or a jacket? Check the weather for the upcoming 12-16 hours or so to make sure. A head lamp or flashlight, yes on top of the one on your phone. Don't fall in a hole in the dark. EXPERT LEVEL: a backpacking chair. You can find these from just about every outdoor outfitter brand. I know those inflatable sofas that you kinda hold open to the wind to fill have been pretty popular for event seating, too, but you do have to steak them down if you're not weighing them down, they're basically huge balloons. NEURODIVERGENT LEVEL: ear plugs and ear muffs, stim objects, camphor or essential oil inhalers, sour, minty, or spicy candy, anything that can help to make the noise manageable, and bring focus back to your body if you start to panic or disassociate. And with that, go out and enjoy your summer!

Have wheels, will travel. The local stock car races started up a couple of weekends ago, and I discovered that Kevin, my hot rod rollator, isn't enough for outings like that anymore. I completely undid the steroid epidural I just got a couple of weeks before going to the race, and I don't get to have another one until July, oof. To Cynthia, the 18" manual wheelchair I go! Thankfully, I do have one, thanks to a friend not needing his anymore. Here's how I'm tricking her out for comfort: Bike gloves: so I don't blister my hands or trigger my carpal tunnel too badly while pushing her along. I got the breathable neoprene kind with the gel cushions and the grippy nibs for part-time, mostly outdoors use. A lumbar support cushion. An attachable cup holder. Yeah, they exist. They're sold as "stroller accessories." Mine even has an attached slot to hold my phone. And it doesn't protrude out really any wider than the wheel it's over. A 30L "lunch backpack" with a collapsible cooler section built into the main compartment. Clever in general, especially needed for me considering all my food allergies, I can't rely on road food when I'm out anymore. And that backpack is all packed and ready to go! Where? Wherever summer takes me! And how can I be sure I'm prepared for all summer eventualities? Well, firstly, I consider the kinds of adventures I normally have in the summer, particularly the more spontaneous ones: County fairground activities: car races, rodeos, etc. Beach or lake trips. Summer festivals & concerts. Farmer's Markets and "Destination Farms" - those would be the working farms that have U-pick, farm stores, restaurants, their own wine, beer, and hard cider labels, ice cream parlors and bakeries, concert venues, corn mazes, petting zoos... And pack with those activities in mind. The crucial hinge-point of all of this is the kind of purse/wallet that has a detachable cross-body strap. Carry both, so you can lock the whole bag in the trunk and just bring your wallet and phone when you don't need the whole Boy Scout pack, or when your money and ID needs to be more easily accessible or secure. From there, the usual purse essentials: My handicap parking placard. VERY easy to forget, and definitely something to keep packed and ready to go at all times! Hygiene items: pocket packs of tissue, hand sanitizer, and menstrual products at minimum. I keep an extra pair of panties, a small bottle of HOCL, a small bottle of Dettol, and some wet wipes, too. A tube of lip balm, bottles of my favorite sunblock & after-sun. A purse-sized first aid kit. All things needed to withstand non-anaphylactic allergies in the Great Outside. Pills, nasal sprays, topicals, masks, what have you. Emergency medications. Mine's just a migraine medication, but if yours is for something life-threatening, be sure to have something on your person or bag or both indicating where your meds are and how to administer them if you go non-verbal in an emergency. Sunglasses & indoor migraine glasses. A few plastic shopping bags, bundled up small for stashing. I can use them for garbage bags, wet clothes, a rain shield, etc... Sharpies. You never know when you're gonna want to graffiti something... or when you'll bump into someone you want to autograph something for you. At least one standard lighter. Along with "gardening supplies." A phone charging cord and small power bank. A stim toy & camphor inhaler, for re-centering purposes. And then there's the stuff that drivers just keep in their cars, but we non-drivers need to tote around with us: A Turkish towel. Yes, very specific! It's easier to carry than a standard beach towel, and has more uses - impromptu picnic blanket, drape for sun protection, etc. An umbrella. I have a UPF 50 umbrella that's a stash-able size and also has a mounting bracket so I can put it on Cynthia, or my camp chair, and stay out of the sun or rain while my hands are free. I'll likely stash a "gas station rain poncho" in there the next time I'm somewhere that sells them, too. A sweatshirt. I live in watery, northern climes, it can get chilly after the sun goes down, especially if there's a boat involved. That's not a humble brag, it's a way of life up here. Ear protection! In-ear buds for too-loud concert music, and big muffs for the stock car races. With, of course, the option to double-up if needed. A battery-operated headlamp, & extra batteries. A gallon-sized freezer bag (I might class it up one day, but I like that the Ziploc is see-through and very pliable), filled with a swimsuit, a UPF 50 hoodie, and a pair of UPF 50 compression leggings. A travel mug. A "clack fan" (drag and festival kids know) with a black and white checker print. A small Bluetooth speaker, and a few good playlists downloaded to my phone, like a true Gemini. And then there's the cooler accessories: A cutlery set. I got the deluxe set with the steak knife, stainless steel straws, and salt & pepper shakers in a zipper case. A can cooler. I usually transfer my LaCroix to my Meoky tumbler, but if I don't. A bandana, for a reusable napkin. Freezer blocks, to keep the food cold. A baggie filled with instant coffee sticks, tea bags, raw sugar packs, and powdered oat milk. A baggie filled with sachet packs of olive oil, vinegar, mustard, lemon juice, hot sauce, etc. And if I think I'll need some extra food to keep on hand that I can eat, won't weigh the bag down, or spoil in the heat... Instant Oatmeal Combine 1/4 cup plain instant oats, 2 tablespoons flax seeds, 1 packed teaspoon brown sugar, 1 tablespoon powdered oat milk, and 1/8 teaspoon pink salt in a sandwich baggie, seal, label & date, and pack. To prepare, transfer the contents of the baggie to a heat-safe bowl or mug, and add 1 cup of hot water. Stir well, and let the oatmeal sit for 2-3 minutes to cool and firm up before eating. Microwave Lentil Soup Combine 1/4 cup red lentils, 2 teaspoons chicken bullion powder, 1/2 teaspoon onion powder, 1/2 teaspoon thyme leaves, 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder, 1/4 teaspoon sumac powder in a sandwich baggie, seal, label & date, and pack. To prepare, transfer the contents of the baggie to a microwave-safe bowl or mug, and add 2 cups of water. Stir well, and microwave for 3-5 minutes each go, stirring well between sessions, until the lentils are cooked how you like them. Garnish with sachets of olive oil and lemon juice before serving. This can also be prepared in a small rice cooker, or over a burner. Totally Travel Tuna Pack 1-2 single-serving envelopes of tuna or pink salmon, and just before eating dress with sachets of lemon juice and Sriracha hot sauce, as well as salt & pepper to taste. Best if served with a fresh avocado or red pepper, or on a hearty toast, but just fine straight out of the bag with a fork as-is. Think of this as like a fun bug-out bag. My friend texts "hey, what are you doing?" and I'm like "nothing much, why, what were you thinking?" and they're like "idk, wanna come?" me and Cynthia are ready for the possibility. And I know I won't forget anything I need while I'm out for the day, especially if my ride gets incapacitated and I end up spending the night somewhere. And if you also keep a dopp kit ready to go like I do, all you have to do is pack that and some clothes in another bag or suitcase for an impromptu weekend away. Heck, I even keep my daily meds, headwrap components, and makeup all easily pack-able, purely for organization's sake. Alright, bring on summer fun! I'm ready!

Can you imagine, coming upon this. This depiction of a penis penetrating a vagina. Just in case there was any doubt cast on this depiction, the family's foremother's anus is clearly depicted. And you spend 21:31 minutes on a video about how "It's NOT Human." Also, fun fact, the Millennium Falcon looks like a stylized cunt. Anyway, can you imagine, being a whole adult, seeing this common depiction of a "family tree," and making a whole video about how it can't be anything other than an alien nuclear reactor. I mean, my family is full of a bunch of neurodivergents who debate passionately, too, it's a great metaphor... "It's NOT Human:" [pictures literally the most human thing in the world] And the comments are all stuff like "stay strong, brother, they disappear people who share too much of the truth!" He's good on that, y'all. This has to be rage bait, but damn have I had a good laugh 🤣🤣🤣