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CW: many specific mental health issues, neurodivergence, chronic illness. Auntie Lore time! You already know I'm late diagnosed AuDHD with all the things that go along with multiple neurodivergence, like rejection sensitive dysphoria, dyscalculia, internal hyperactivity, hyperlexia, hyperverbalism, hyperfixation, dyspraxia, fissure and synesthesia, chronic insomnia, weak digestion, joint hypermobility... What does this mean, practically? Internal hyperactivity + the constant influx of information from the hyperlexia + rejection sensitive dysphoria = severe anxiety, that turned into OCD and violent intrusive thoughts by around 7th grade, and a panic disorder by college. I tried cutting briefly around the time the intrusive thoughts started, but quickly discovered the payoff was miniscule compared to the pain and healing time. I've had suicidal ideation, but never attempted... I knew full well I'd regret it either way, so those stayed intrusive thoughts and nothing more. Hyperfixation + hyperlexia + hyperverbalism + dyscalculia + dyspraxia + rejection sensitive dysphoria + obvious stims = intense bullying, from peers and school staff. And if you think I'm exaggerating, my father ran into my elementary school principal just last year, and his response was "I'm surprised you'll talk to me after what I did to your daughter." That wasn't the only external influence on my mental health. For instance: Hyperfixation on the Holocaust as a person of Jewish, ethnic Ukrainian, & Romani descent + internal hyperactivity + hyperlexia + being raised in an "End Times" cult, that not only restricted your diet and activities, but preached that we were actively living out the Book of Revelations and that believers needed to know survival skills for the times of persecution = massive religious and cultural trauma, contributing to the anxiety, OCD, and intrusive thoughts, as well as severe depression. And I did this all without a lick of psychological care, because it was the 80's and 90's, I was a girl, and as far as my parents were concerned, mental healthcare was lobotomies and shock treatment, nothing they wanted to subject their child to. Not to mention, that was during the Adderall over-prescription epidemic, and my parents weren't about to put their daughter on "child crack." Did this contribute to my disabilities as an adult? My Fibromyalgia specialist confirmed it's all the root of my fibro/central sensitization disorder, aka without the CPTSD I wouldn't have the condition at all. The good news is, when I did finally get into a psychologist's office, I was graduated out very quickly, because I had somehow developed healthy coping skills on my own. I know this is rare, and I'm lucky. Which is why I signed up for Monte Mader's Move For You Challenge, which is a fundraiser for To Write Love On Her Arms, an organization that's been providing gap mental health services for a number of years now, I first learned of them when I was in college in the late 2000's. I've seen mental health resources in my area expand greatly in the years since they started, especially psych ER's and Urgent Care centers, and I believe it's TWLOHA's activism that lit the fire. The challenge is perfect for me: 10 minutes a day of movement for the month of May. Perfect timing, perfect challenge for me right now, as I'm to the point in surgery recovery where muscle building is needed. I'll be using the Greasing the Groove method I learned in Fibromyalgia Pain Clinic nine years ago now to do this, likely starting with leg pumps and squats, and moving on to some more focused core work once I have those locked in. And yeah, it's a fundraiser for TWLOHA, here's my personal donation link: https://www.gofundme.com/f/10-minutes-for-hope-move-with-me-62rky?utm_campaign=fp_sharesheet&utm_content=amp17_tc-amp20_t1&utm_medium=customer&utm_source=copy_link&lang=en_US&ts=1777301650 I do my 10+ minutes per day, you support me/TWLOHA with a donation, everyone's health improves all around! Even better, commit yourself to your own fundraiser and 10 minutes of movement a day for May, you'll only feel better by the end of the month!

CW: gun violence, political violence. I know it's all I seem to write about nowadays, but I'm fucking pissed that a disabled woman is considered more of a threat to the American Way of Life for coordinating the re-distribution of needed community resources than a radicalized incel with a high-powered firearm. I refuse to believe that hatred and gun violence is more American than community organization. Logically, I know it's true, but I also know it's wrong. This is not how it was supposed to be, in any human culture. One of those things I was taught in what I have of course come to realize was a propaganda-filled childhood is that you should "be the change you wish to see in the world." I wish to see community resources used and distributed ethically and responsibly. So, I'm going to keep putting clothing swaps on. Hell, I might even plan other stuff swaps. I've been wanting to do a kitchen appliance swap for awhile now... You're probably saying "why don't you just move to Europe or China or Canada and be done with it?" It's virtually impossible to be a disabled American expat. It takes significant money to move out of the country, and visas are usually determined on your ability to work. No one wants to take on someone who will draw from a system they'll never be able to pay into. So, unless I qualify for political asylum at some point (for organizing a FUCKING CLOTHING SWAP), this is where I am. Besides, I'm William Bradford's granddaughter. Take it farther down the same line, I have Cherokee grandparents. Black Cherokee. Black Cherokee Freemasons. This is my country. I'm the culmination of the people who built this country from every way you look at it, I'm not about to abandon ship because people got selfish and greedy and refused to course correct when they needed to. This also means that my people have been here for too long on all sides to qualify for any birthright return policies. With the exception of Ukraine, so that's not happening. Anyway, said clothing swap has now grown to the point where we have expenses, not huge expenses, but expenses we organizers can't cover on our own as-is. So, I'll be turning essays from this blog, and recipes from Auntie's Allergy-Free Eats into zines to sell at the swaps as a fundraiser. I think volume one will be a collection of my essays on decolonization and anti-capitalism and the reclamation of body image, and call it "The Auntie American Manifesto" 😄 🇺🇸 I think I've found my superhero alter ego. Auntie American. Bionic Woman, uses her super-sharp tongue to verbally castrate arrogant men and their Karen girlfriends, does not run thanks to the autism, is followed by a small army of battle cats, and doesn't need a cover story - the superpower is the day job, organizing a functioning community. Here to save America from the bad guys trying to keep us divided and in a lack mentality 💪🏼💪🏼 I don't fly, don't you dare Edna Mode me about this.

That semi-annual clothing swap that has me on a few US government watchlists for being "anti-American" was three days ago now, and I've been working on laundry and stain treating and mending and tailoring since. So, I've been thinking about my wardrobe a lot, and thought I'd share how I built mine for style and function, since it is a learned skill. I learned the ropes from working the cool art museum job with a bunch of fashionistas at the same time that Pinterest debuted. And I built my wardrobe through thrifting, clothing swaps and "free markets," and shopping off-season clearance racks and with store loyalty points, because the best find for the least amount of money is my favorite ADHD dopamine hit game. Why is this such an anti-American activity? This is actively battling overconsumption. Whether you're wearing secondhand or buying brand new, you won't buy things you can't wear when you understand your life and style. You'll know what you're actually looking for, not just what the trending aesthetics are. And you'll have what you need to wear things properly, so you'll actually want to wear them. Not to mention, you're building a mindful wardrobe, so you don't have to buy something new that you'll only wear once every time a new event comes up. This means you'll look like an it girl, keep your money in your pocket, and keep clothing out of the landfill. All things that fully disrupt the capitalist system. They need you to stay insecure and confused, and willing to spend your money about it. So, how does one go about this wardrobe building? Know what looks good on you. Know your skin tone and the colors that look best with it. Know your body shape, and the clothing cuts and silhouettes that balance and flatter it. And keep up with your body measurements. Have a wardrobe of undergarments selected for their practicality, not their sexiness. If you have breasts, know your bra size, and purchase your bras for functionality with your outerwear - strapless, racer back/plunge, smooth flesh-toned, etc. For bottoms, consider whether your pants are mostly high, mid, or low-waisted, visible panty lines, solid flesh-toned vs. fun colors and patterns, inner thigh chafing, compatibility with your menstrual products, if you need any kind of functional support, etc. You can have sexy stuff too, of course, just make sure you prioritize the practical pieces. Have a wardrobe of shoes and accessories. Both of these expand the looks you can get out of your wardrobe, and make a lot of pieces even more versatile to wear. I even keep a wardrobe of prescription glasses and sunglasses, thanks to Zenni Optical (not sponsored). And a wardrobe of canes to coordinate with my outfits. Consider what your clothes are made of. Personally, I'm allergic to all animal materials but leather and silk - wool, angora, down, and cashmere are all no-go's for me, even in small amounts. And I have the perimenopause + spinal cord injury sweats, so whatever I wear had better be breathable and quick-drying. Because of that, my wardrobe is about 85% plant fibers, and 15% synthetic performance material (especially UPF material). Consider where you wear your clothes. Home. Your MuuMuus, house dresses, pajama pants, oversized tees, etc. Athletic & outdoors wear. Work. Even if your job is the kind of place where you can wear jeans and a t-shirt, you're not going to want to wear your favorite jeans and tees to a place where you'll just crap them out. Otherwise, uniformed workers need uniform pieces, corporate workers need a business casual wardrobe and one nice interview outfit, and executives need a few suits, preferably the kind that can be mixed-and-matched for some variety. So you're disabled, or a stay at home parent? These would be the clothes you wear out to shopping trips, doctor's appointments, hair and nail appointments, school drop off/pick ups, volunteer shifts, board meetings... nicer than your home clothes, easy to put on and wear, usually somewhere between athleisure and business casual. Going out. This is usually where people don't know what to do with themselves, mostly because it's a broad category that encompasses a few dress codes. Consider occasions and pieces like: Church, a casual day date, or bridal/baby shower: this is where something like a milkmaid dress would be appropriate. Too casual for corporate, too impractical for home wear, fully out of place in the club. Your nephew's 5th birthday party. Look, I know I'm an asexual geek, but considering the guest of honor is five, you should be dressing as the cool aunt there for a kid's birthday, not the sexy aunt there to troll for men. Try a graphic tee with a franchise the nibling would like, or wear a Ms. Frizzle dress. If the love of your life is there, they'll likely be more impressed with how good you are with kids, and how you're not afraid to be fun. A little black dress: wardrobe staple for a reason, can go from a New Years Eve party to a funeral... just please make sure it's a modest one if you only have one, for that funeral use. A cocktail dress with color. You will be invited to a wedding. Unless the bride specifically requests you to, you cannot wear white or black. If purchased strategically, can be paired with a blazer for that interview outfit. The Clerb. Fun fact - you can get a whole lot of mileage out of one bodycon dress, and the right accessories. Especially when everyone is getting drunk and won't remember what you were wearing, anyway, just that you looked bangin' in it. The major concert tour stop: a person with a developed sense of personal style and a curated wardrobe doesn't need to buy a fast fashion costume for a single evening, and then inflict the Goodwill with it the next day. Whether you're into Nashville, Outlaw, or Roots Revival, invest in a good pair of western boots and a pair of well-fitting Wranglers. Regardless of whether your mosh pit is punk or metal, if your boots aren't coming from the Army-Navy Surplus, at least get them from Doc Marten. And if you're a pop princess, I have a collection of swapped or thrifted sequined garments that keep me looking like a disco ball in any party circumstance. Music scenes birth fashion, and if you're enough of a genre fan to drop hundreds of dollars on a concert ticket, you're enough of a genre fan to want to wear the look regularly. So, buy the real thing, not a costume. Wear it to the next concert, too, look like you're about the life. Study the art of mixing and matching. If you started with your color typing, and stuck with your colors, you've likely assembled a wardrobe in a complementary color palette with all your best neutrals and colors represented. This means you can wear everything in your closet with everything else. And since all of your tops can be worn with all of your bottoms, you can create hundreds of unique looks with the same handful of pieces. My method for doing this is very passive - I leave my closet doors open. It makes a good visual point for staring off into space to collect my thoughts, and as I do that, my eyes will start to match colors and patterns, and I'll put outfits together almost subconsciously. Nikko with The Body Type Blueprint is more active in his approach, he takes one garment and scans the rack with it to catch any color matches or pairings that jump out to the eye. I've also seen closet Lookbook apps that help with this kind of visualization and outfit building, but I haven't personally used any. Hardcore interact with your closet regularly. I have the benefit of both a semi-annual clothing swap to constantly prepare for, as well as four distinct seasons to dress for, so my closet requires some regular shifting around. If you don't have that kind of reason to go through your clothes for a regular try-on, try to make one at least twice a year. Follow the trends... but only for fresh inspiration on how to use what's already in your closet, or what to look for when you're swapping or shopping. Remember, trends aren't to be followed, they're to be engaged with. You're allowed, encouraged even to put your unique spin on a trend. You're also allowed to completely ignore any trend that doesn't work for you. You're also allowed to keep wearing anything that has gone off-trend, if you still love it. Just make sure you're giving new shapes and fits a try-on before making your final determination on whether it's for you or not. A reminder that shopping is not a hobby, and consumables are not collectables. That includes throwaway fashion with one intended wear that isn't a wedding dress. You don't have to put hundreds into luxury investment pieces, but at least fill your wardrobe with durable garments that you can and plan to wear for a few years. On modesty: I'm a middle aged asexual, as far as I'm concerned, my body is purely a source of personal expression, and nothing about it needs to be hidden because of shame. But we wear clothing first and foremost to protect the physical and energetic bodies. And that requires material coverage. Consider dressing like you're covered in tattoos you want to keep from UV exposure. There's also respect to consider. I'm writing this about a month after Rodeo Houston (which I attended in 2015 wearing Capri pants and a sweatshirt) had to put a dress code in place, after many people showed up to a family event dressed like they're ready to go on stage at the strip joint on the outskirts of town. Now, I have nothing but respect for strippers and their athleticism, and the strippers I know would never wear their work clothes to a family event. The ability to dress correctly for the situation shows that you have emotional intelligence. I have 304 clothes, too - and I wear them to 21+ events. Otherwise, there's no such thing as "too covered up." Anyone who tries to tell you there is, is likely a man who both wants to take advantage of you for his own gratification, and who wants you vulnerable. We don't dress for them. You can look cute - sexy, even! - while still dressing appropriately for the occasion and the company if your style shows confidence in yourself. And I can't believe this needs to be said, but the "Office Siren" aesthetic is fetishwear. It's just as inappropriate as wearing a gimp suit to the office. That is not an exaggeration, it's a direct comparison. Time and place, people. Formal wear for non-celebrities: A few weeks ago, an up-and-coming influencer went viral for making a video talking about how she was invited to her first red carpet event since moving to LA, and how when she went to the mall to shop for the event, the only formalwear available was clearly designed for prom and quinceanera wear, not a red carpet. That's because those are the kinds of formalwear the usual mall store sells. Because that's the mall's clientele. Zendaya is not going to the mall to find her dress for the Oscars. Hell, even bridesmaids in Bumfuck, Iowa know to go to David's Bridal or America's Bride for age-appropriate formal gowns. If you are a grown-ass woman looking to shine at a formal event and you don't have major designers wanting to dress you, you have four options: Thrift 'em when you find 'em, and keep them in reserve for formal event invitations. Go to a bridal boutique and shop the bridesmaid dress selection. Go to your local fashion school, and see if there are any students looking to do a project dress. Go to a small designer and ask for a quote for couture, or check out their existing collections.

Me: "Better political analysts than I are talking about the current problems, I'd rather focus my blog on workable personal solutions." The Universe: "Girl, it is 2026, and you're an American. Please." Go ahead. Considering that list, guess why I would be on an FBI watchlist or three? If you've read my About page, you'd probably point to my history as a 2016 Water Protector aka community organizer around water rights. That's definitely how I originally got myself on a few lists, but I had to give it up because of the Great Fibromyalgia Flare of 2018, and my health has just gone downhill from there. What in heavens name could I be doing with my very limited energy/spoons that would worry the current US government? You may also point to my continuing decolonization work, but beyond one blog essay, that's all been lived personal philosophy, I don't think I can be arrested for things like cooking my own food from scratch. The answer is in AuntieLinks. I organize a clothing swap. That's right, my coordinating the re-distribution of resources in the community, with my organizational partners being an amazing trans woman and her amazing wife, is anti-American behavior nowadays. So much for "with Liberty and Justice for All." I have been laughing about this all day. Of all the terrifying people out there, they're going to profile the crippled clothing swap auntie? It's easier than crying. Memorial Day is the next big American holiday, where we honor the soldiers who gave their lives to preserve our American way of life. I'm sure they would be very proud that their sacrifice is keeping our country safe from the horrors of *checks notes* ladies clothing swaps that welcome trans women. I'm sure the FBI agents sent to raid the home of a *checks notes* crippled cat lady living with a bunch of Trump voters are really going to feel like all that training and commitment they put into their careers was worth it for that one defining moment when they truly made the country a safer place. I'm sure the American Taxpayer couldn't think of anything more urgent to spend the money taken from their paychecks on than shutting down an *checks notes* Earth Day event promoting sustainability and environmental stewardship on a local, realistic scale for the everyday person to participate in. Which is why I'm sure the event will go off without a hitch, and so will the one in the fall, because what we're doing is as American as sticking your dick in an apple pie in a teen romcom, and what they're doing is... not very American of them. Go ahead, name something seditious that could possibly be done during a four hour clothing swap event twice per year that would justify an FBI raid using YOUR tax dollars paying YOUR federal agents to harass American citizens collecting charitable donations. And yet, my semi-annual ladies and theydies clothing swap meets all seven of the criteria listed above for "domestic terrorism." Proudly, by the way. We'd rather be on the right side of history, thanks. And we're going to be SO stylish while we are. I just... I'm well aware that the American Mythology is just that - a myth - but it's still so jarring when you're told you are so lucky to have been born in a place where you're "truly free" and can "do or be anything you want to be" at that young, impressionable brain development age by the right important people that whenever it's shoved into my face that my national identity, which was encouraged to be a big part of my personal identity, was all a gigantic, blatant lie told to kids who didn't know better and therefore couldn't prepare for the reality of their situation as it got worse and worse...

This isn't a political blog. Why? Because this is my blog, and I believe that our current political system is old, dying energy, and I would rather put my attention and energy towards the new, healthy system I want to see put in place when the old system finally gives up the ghost. It's not that I don't follow the politics, and vote/act accordingly, it's just that looking beyond the politics is my wheelhouse, and I'll leave the political commentary to the people who are actually good at it. I guess you could say I've been on a wellness journey my whole life, I was born into a Seventh-Day Adventist medical family who takes the Health Ministry to heart and soul. I spent my childhood devouring books on herbalism and nutritional supplementation. But I really went on my personal health journey starting in 2017, when my time at the Fibromyalgia Pain Clinic got me into strength training, which ended up exacerbating my joint hypermobility and osteoarthritis issues, to the point of multiple major surgeries. My journey led me to diagnoses of everything from food allergies to neurodivergence. If you follow this blog, you'll know that my personal approach to wellness has been holistic, and informed strongly by three things - my background in Anthropology and study of ancient and traditional lifeways, my lifelong spiritual journey, particularly in energy work, and my commitment to decolonizing my thought processes and daily habits. And my conclusion? Wellness is spiritual. Any time you're caring for your physical body, which is a manifestation of your soul, you're caring for your soul, too. And considering every last one of us is an expression of the Universal or God Source, striving for personal health from a place of pure love of self is a direct act of reverence and obedience to God. I'm coming to this conclusion as "wellness influencers" are using their content to funnel people into a certain political mindset. These people are using specific diet and exercise habits under the guise of health to signal their political beliefs, and make those beliefs look more desirable. How very Piscean Age of them. Now, consider this from my perspective: Spirituality is forever. Politics are very temporary. Spirituality is a force far bigger than any single person. Politics is man-made and headed by fallible, ego-driven humans with a deep, toxic need to control others. As far as I'm concerned, using the health of the human body, the soul's physical expression, the vehicle the soul uses to interface with our planet, to promote societal division in the name of politics is Golden Calf level blasphemy. At least everyone worshiping the Golden Calf were 100% aware and truthful about what they were doing. Many of these influencers drag Christianity into their brand. But religion has always been politics' way of controlling spiritual access, so no one is surprised there. Dear Reader, please know that I am no influencer, and anything I share about diet, exercise, or wellness in general has no ulterior motive. My wellness focus is purely on uniting my energy with the Universal Source, and keeping up the best vessel I can for my soul to use to fulfill its purpose here on Earth. And I'm not trying to proselytize my way of life, either. I'm just showing you how I did it, if you're wondering. Like all spiritual things, this is something you have to choose for yourself, because you want it. That's how personal sovreignty works.

I generally stretch my hair by sleeping with it in two cornrows before doing my length check pictures. But today was wash & chebe day, so my curls are out and down right now. This is at about 80% air dried, and my sleep bonnet hasn't absorbed the extra butter yet, so it's pretty drenched in product even if it's otherwise dry: I'd say 3A when my hair is heavy like this. It gets bigger and rounder and the curls get tighter the drier and lighter it gets, but not dramatically. But, I've definitely reached the "shoulder length when shrunk" phase of the grow-out! And this is where I need to start being extra careful with the ends...

This one's for my AFAB Millennials. And it has content warnings of pedophilia, human trafficking, torture, and eating disorders. The biggest conversation everywhere but on US media as I write this is The Epstein Files, particularly the early 2026 "info dump" that made it brutally obvious that Jeffrey Epstein, likely the literal Antichrist, known pedophile (among other things), controlled pop culture for girls and women for 30+ years. A lot of women are coming to terms with how men like Epstein, and Victoria's Secret owner Lex Wexner, had Millennials wearing words like "juicy" printed over their butts when they were 10 years old, and then heading straight in to get their crotches waxed bald once a month by 18 years old, at the latest. They're putting together where fashion and pop culture trends really originated from, and it has been a lot to unpack for a lot of women. Yeah. Feminists were unpacking the symptoms we were seeing of this in culture back in the day. Of course they called us "feminazis." Of course they purposefully mischaracterized feminist philosophy. They got ten extra years of selling and torturing children out of it. Anyway. Now that we know, we can do better as a whole. And as one of those fore-runners of stepping away from patriarchial pedo culture, I've done my personal unpacking and "the work," and I have some advice on how to move beyond what the creepy rich men want and understand what you want for yourself. First of all, the only person who gets to have a significant, actionable opinion about your body is you. It's definitely not your partner, especially if your partner is a cis man. People who aren't you can have an opinion, but their opinion is secondary to your opinion about your own body. You get to regard or disregard their opinion at your discretion. Body hair is usually where people start to deconstruct here. This doesn't mean you need to grow out a 70's style hairy muff if you don't want to... but this is your permission to grow it out if you've always wanted to, upcoming bikini season be damned. The beach will get whatever body you give it. If a guy deems you unfuckable for it - he didn't want to fuck you. And uncertain sexual relationships aren't the best idea right now, anyway, especially considering 40,000 people came out of spring break 2026 with STD's from Houston, TX alone, with one guy testing positive for literally every single STD they know of. Same with shaving or otherwise removing any body hair - if removing it makes you more comfortable, go for it. If it's always something that's irritated your skin and given you ingrown hairs, maybe consider letting it grow. Another thing to consider is your blonde hair. If you need to pay someone $250+ per month to maintain your hair color, it's not your natural color. You were blonde as a child because, unless you're a very specific kind of Scandinavian or Dutch, blonde is a child's hair color. Fun fact, there's this Romani genetic thing where every so often, a very towheaded, blue-eyed child is born. My dad and brother both got this quirk - my dad's eyes darkened but stayed blue, my brother's are as black as mine now. Both have black hair. Nobody would call them "natural blondes," they call them "towheaded children." Now, for what you put on your body, that's all you. And it's something you're going to need to do some work with, considering it's likely never been truly all you before - you've been told how to dress by men, for men your whole life. I recommend experimenting. Clothing swaps, and thrifting makes this a lot easier than just heading to the mall, especially if you're on a budget, and especially if you want to make damn sure your purchases aren't lining a trafficker's pocket. I started with wearing all the clothes I wanted to wear as a teenager, and couldn't, due to my body size (tall, heavy, and busty) and my family's conservatism. This included lingerie - yeah, I'm asexual, but I'm also a Taurus Venus and Libra Mars... if it's pretty, and lacy, and oozes sensualism, I'm going to want to participate, in my own way. And my own way was plus sized lingerie modeling for a few years. In my late 30's and early 40's. I was fat and middle aged, the exact opposite of what society tells me is sexy - freedom, baby! I'm gonna put my unsexy body in ALL the lace and murder widow robes, because I want to wear the shit out of that stuff and look and feel beautiful. For myself. Of course, we're all going through mass deconstruction of our body image while we're entering peri/menopause, perfect timing really - might as well treat this as second puberty! For me, I'm deconstructing as the hot flashes are ramping up, and frankly, hot flash preparation is the first thing I consider when I'm purchasing or swapping for summer clothing nowadays. Super light materials, as little polyester as possible, and proper underthings for off-shoulder, cropped, and sheer clothes (generally bandeau bras and flesh-toned underwear). And since I've lost so much weight, bundling up in the winter is priority, so like a good Michigander, I focus on interesting layers. I just got the wildest faux cheetah fur vest from Cracker Barrel, of all places... If this is the first time you've ever even considered your own style, I would recommend knowing your color season and your body type to start, and start exploring what kinds of clothes you genuinely like to wear, and feel comfortable and stylish and well-represented in. Speaking of weight, you're allowed to be a healthy weight. You don't have to be lean like a prepubescent child to attract a man, or obese to repel or arouse a man. You live in your body for you. And when you've taken back control of more aspects of yourself from the patriarchial, pedophiliac culture, you'll feel a lot more control in general, hopefully enough that you can loosen up your restrictive or binge eating. By the way, if you are living with an eating disorder, please seek treatment. Real treatment from a real person. The poison can run deep... and you'd haul your ass to the ER if you were bit by a rattlesnake, or ingested arsenic, there's certainly no shame in seeking medical treatment for deliberate mental poisoning by unethical people. This is where we also need to confront the fear of aging that's tied into to pedophilia culture. First of all, if I have learned anything in the past five years, it's that what you put in your body is more important than what you put on your skin, when it comes to your skin health. Your skin is your body's largest organ. It functions the best when all your other organs are functioning their best. Why? They're all organs. They all function together. Your skin is super absorbent, yes, but not as absorbent as your guts. If you're looking at 40, your skin will thank you a lot more for proper daily hydration with quality electrolytes (deep sea mineral sourced, not baking soda, potassium, and high fructose corn syrup sports drinks), a fiber rich diet sitting around 2K calories per day, depending on your body's needs, and collagen, vitamin c, vitamin d, and iron supplementation as your bloodwork dictates, than it will for regular Botox and fillers. On the outside? Prioritize sun protection, and use the simplest formulations of ingredients that are best for your unique skin. Again, this is about making our bodies comfortable vehicles to live in, not making them commodities for pedophiles to get rich on. And that means making our bodies healthy so we can go out and get shit done, and wearing whatever the fuck we want while we do it. Someone who's been doing an excellent job of deconstructing out loud - not only in her personal style, but in her public deconstruction content on TikTok and YouTube, is @KnittingCultLady, who you should check out if you want a regular voice about deconstruction from someone doing it in your feeds. I found early on that following the people doing the things you want to be doing is a great way to get into the energy of actually going out and doing it. Tell the algorithm what you want, with your purest intention behind it, and it can help you kick off a whole journey you never thought you could or would take. How do you think I discovered North African haircare? It wasn't talking to the Dutch-American farmers who live around me...

So far, the trend seems to be that I spend most of the month thinking that my hair isn't growing at all, and then in the last week of the month realizing that my hair has grown significantly enough that I'm going to have to start modifying my routine to accommodate the new growth 😅😅 I've been washing and oiling my scalp with my hair loose this whole time, sectioning it on the fly. I'm about to the point where I'll want to section out and twist my hair before getting into the bath. To be honest, I thought I was still a few months away from that point. When I cornrow my hair to stretch it, or wrap it, it doesn't feel like it's gained too much length, but it does feel denser, and I'll take it! Cue the drum roll... here's my March results: Compare that to February: Not a lot of overall length, but the sides are catching up to the back nicely! Not to mention, where the hell did all the greys go? The lighting is a bit different, but not that different. I didn't dye my hair. The only change was the chebe butter recipe, which I'll discuss a bit later in more detail. The changes wouldn't add color to my hair. And the greys aren't gone, trust me. I just didn't realize I had so many more last month than I do right now. If I was shedding greys to grow dark hairs in again, that might explain a stall in length, too... I'll credit the Kundalini Awakening effect, why not? Since my Maa Kali murti came home on February 27, I've been listening to Kali mantras while wearing my heat treatment cap over my freshly applied scalp oil and chebe butter. Mantras are supposed to be done for one hour, and so are heat treatments, seemed logical to me. And Maa Kali's hair is impressive af. I fully credit Her influence for starting with head wrapping/veiling. I just got some unlined silk wig caps and silk durags to protect my hair from rubbing on my cotton headscarves and baseball caps, and to prevent my headscarves from getting stained by my hair butter. My initial order of jersey cotton hijabs from Modest Behaviour came a couple weeks back, and y'all, hijabs are exactly what I was looking for! The perfect length, the perfect weight, everything. I wasn't sponsored to say that, I found her completely independently through her cat's TikTok! I also made an energy clearing and protecting spray for my scarves and silk underlayers, consisting of half & half Florida Water, and Holy Water consecrated by an exorcist. The chemical reaction when I combined the two honestly freaked me out 😅😅 My spiritual hygiene is going to be like The crown chakra is the other end of the root chakra, so it kinda makes sense, I guess. Ancient Israelites girded their loins for battle, modern spiritualists in the Kali Yuga gird their heads. Speaking of crown chakra protection, April's purchases also include more papaya oil, I'm finally down to the last 6oz of my pre-surgery scalp oil batch. I've been using that aforementioned new batch of chebe butter with kokum butter as my solid for a few weeks now, though. I have found my butter, hallelujah! That makes my final chebe butter recipe: 1/2 cup kokum butter 1/4 cup raw coconut butter 1/4 cup olive oil 1 heaping tablespoon chebe powder You'll melt all the ingredients down together in a double boiler (or in a Pyrex bowl over a pot of boiling water, like I do...) before transferring it all to a wide-mouth mason jar to store. Why wide mouth? Because it'll take a good 48-72 hours for the oils and butter to re-harden, and the chebe powder will sink to the bottom of the jar. You'll want to take a hand mixer fit with a single beater to whip your cooled and set chebe butter and re-incorporate all that chebe into the base. And with that, I'm on my way to long hair! I ordered a bunch of sets of silk scrunchies when I ordered my hijabs, so I'm ready to keep my hair up off my shirt fabric while I'm at home, too. I'm prepared for maximum growth, let's do this!

Last night's stir-fried mung bean sprouts were a huge hit. The original plan was to thaw some chicken to throw in the wok as well, but the mung beans and rice were that perfect blend of filling but not heavy, and the chicken never actually came out of the freezer. That started out as 1/2 cup of dried large mung beans. I bought 2lbs of dried beans for $2.99. So, that's 75 cents of sprouts that fed my family of five as a main dish along with pennies worth of rice and sauce per plate, with enough left over to incorporate into another meal. It's also vegan, low-cal, and nutritionally complete. Next up by household consensus: black eyed peas. I put them on to soak this morning at 9am, so you could say I got it started... Making this joke was the whole reason for this blog post. I think they're destined for a salad with the chow chow slaw that's been pickling in my refrigerator for the past month. Or maybe in a coconut curry soup, considering I want to eat that chow chow slaw with the barbecue we're ordering for Easter dinner, and those sprouts will be ready long before then. This is way more fun than picking what to eat off a menu or a shelf! If you're reading this and going, "wow, I want to start sprouting beans and grains, too!" I learned how through Pinterest and YouTube: This came from a pin board called "Grandma's Life Hacks." This goated algorithm pull introduced me to the easiest sprouting system, with these mason jar lids that are a full sprouting system in and of themselves, which take up much less space than the sprouting trays, or the systems that require a tilt prop for the airflow. As for the sprouting lids I actually bought, these lids (not sponsored) are the best price I found for that style of sprouting lids.

This is the new TikTok trend, huh? I want in. It'll never be more than friends, including friends with "benefits." I'm asexual and aromantic to the damn core. Having chronic illnesses means that I'm flaky AF. I have better pain management and mobility aids now than I used to, but if the temperature is too dangerous or my pain is too uncontrollable, I will have to cancel last minute. Yeah, that does mean that there are certain things (mostly ticketed events) I can't do anymore, just in general. ADHD gives me some serious time blindness. Not only will I inevitably be late or early (because I'm overcompensating), but months can feel like weeks to me. I may go radio silent for ages and all of a sudden text you with a million questions about a topic we had one conversation about two years before. Or I won't initiate a conversation for weeks and weeks, because I'll think I'm "bothering you" if I do contact you for something frivolous. I also have internal hyperactivity, which means I am perfectly comfortable with long in-person silences. I'm talking literal hours. And while whoever my internal dialogue partner that day is usually gets the brunt of my "talking it out" during those long silences, you may get me thinking out loud at you randomly about whatever I'm hyperfocusing on and need to verbalize to understand. I also have the autistic bluntness, and truthfulness over glossing. I will tell you the truth, good or bad. You will get tactfulness. I can promise it's coming from a place of kindness, but it won't feel like it. You come to me for advice and solutions, not sympathy. It's not that I don't feel sympathy for you, it's just that "making it better" is how I express sympathy. If it can't be made better (I will brainstorm), I'll tell you very frankly about how much it sucks, and how your feelings are valid and should be felt properly and acted on responsibly. I insist on the aux cord. Including in conversation when you say something that sounds like a song lyric, and I'll start singing. It's not that I don't understand the concept of "cringe," I just don't understand why it should apply to me. I don't drive. It's thanks to my ADHD & dyscalculia. If you do drive, I'll be asking for a ride if we make plans together. That dyscalculia also keeps me from playing most games, from video games to board games to card games. I don't drink alcohol. I take 9 prescription medications, and I enjoy living. I am "California sober," and frankly, I can party plenty hard without a hangover the next day, thank you. I live my whole life pretty strictly and simply, actually. It's how I survive, and thrive under adversity. You may find that threatening to be around, if you don't have that kind of discipline yourself. I'm childfree. I'd love to hear about your kids, but if you want to tell those stories to someone who relates 100%, I am not that person. I'll be 44 in June. Some people hate age and experience. Like they won't get there themselves eventually. Inevitably. My bedtime is 9PM. I'm not saying it's non-negotiable, I am saying I get weird and grumpy when I get exhausted. I don't do social media anymore. I do blogs, and I do one-on-one or small group texts. If you want me to know something about you, or see a picture, you have to send it directly to me, or join the blogosphere. If you wrong me in any way, my cut-off game is immaculate. That includes if you prove yourself unsafe to any of my queer or trans friends, or BIPOC friends. Or any of my friends for whatever reason. If you're a creep to them, you're a creep to me.

I was introduced to the concept of decolonization in 2016, when I joined the #noDAPL movement for indigenous water rights. I was already pretty deep into both third wave feminism and early body positivity, so decolonization seemed like the logical next step - intersectional feminism identified the problem as a twisted patriarchal system fed by capitalism and religion as social control, decolonization proposed a perfectly do-able solution of personal accountability in returning to pre-colonial thought systems and therefore lifeways. How does one approach that? Turns out, it's practically the same thing as what the spiritual community calls "shadow work," and the neurodivergent community calls "unmasking." It takes a lot of inner work, particularly identifying the parts of you that you've been hiding, or pretending don't exist because they don't benefit the colonial mindset. Now, keep in mind, I'm no wide expert on this. This hasn't been a journey of research for me, it's been a journey of self discovery, and those are two very different things. This is definitely a personal reflection essay, not an exhaustive study. What is "decolonization," exactly? It's a return to how cultures lived before the colonizing culture came in and imposed their own way of life. As an American, this all happened long before my living relatives were born, so the images that creates basically involves living off-grid in the woods somewhere. Obviously, I am not doing that at all, and that's not what decolonization actually is (though it can be, in radical cases). So, how does one decolonize in a modern setting? Well, first, you have to identify the legacy of colonialism. Most people will point to racism and white supremacy right away, but why was a racist, classist system created in the first place? That's the backbone of capitalism. We love to focus on the pioneers and the westward expansion when we look at the early years of America, but take a look at what was happening on the east coast at that time, where the modern country was already established... the country was founded at the beginning of the Industrial Revolution, and the North embraced it wholeheartedly... with child labor gleaned from the poor, immigrant communities. Meanwhile, the South was in literal tall cotton, riding the agricultural business on the back of slavery. Human exploitation to profit the wealth hoarders is the backbone of this country. Capitalism relies on two things to function - division in the masses to keep them from organizing and taking control of the system, and for the masses to consume the products they make to line the CEO's wallet. Racism, classism, and overconsumption in all forms for the 99% it is. Knowing that, decolonization means deconstructing those concepts in your own life, and reconstructing your life around the principals of personal sovereignty, community, and spirituality that your ancestors enjoyed. This is a bottom-up movement. It's work that has to be done on a very personal, individual level. You need to fully believe it and live it, and then find community with other people who fully believe and live it. The more the community grows, the more people see how happy and functional we are, the more people do their own work and join... that's how we affect major change. Okay, but how does one do this practically? Because it still sounds huge and hard and very vague. And yes, it is a large, life-altering project. But, as the old adage goes, you eat the elephant bite by bite, swallowing it whole would be impossible. And you'll naturally encounter and discover the areas where you'll find you need to decolonize. I'll go ahead and share how the process has looked for me so far. It'll look different for everyone, but at least this is a good guide to where to start looking at your lifestyle, and how a capitalistic mindset affects it. My body made me decolonize my diet. When you're allergic to five of the most common food allergens, and when one is subsidized by the government to grow and therefore added to everything pre-made, you have to cook from scratch. And "American food" is not meant to be cooked from scratch... even if it's assembled in a home kitchen, it involves processed food like canned soup. Which means you start eating real American food - rice and grains, beans, lightly processed corn, vegetables and fruits, lean meats, nuts (if you can) and seeds, ferments and pickles, herbs and spices for seasonings, honey and maple syrup for sweeteners. But why should someone without any food allergies eat like this? Two big reasons come to mind: my PCP told me that there's been a rise in deadly colon cancer in millennials in their 30's and 40's, to the point where she expects they'll drop the routine colonoscopy age to 35 fairly soon. And as I write this, the price of food is experiencing the worst inflation in my lifetime. Those foods are the most affordable in the grocery store now. Okay, three. Those are the kind of foods that you need to track your calories when you eat them to make sure you're getting enough calories in to maintain your body's basal needs. You want to lose some fat while eating huge, satisfying portions of luxurious food? Decolonize your diet. As for decolonizing the rest of my self care, that took me to some unexpected places. I was introduced to The Nap Ministry around the same time as I was first learning about decolonization, and let me tell you, the Rest is Resistance philosophy is easy to understand, and incredibly difficult to incorporate when you have to override the millennial professional woman #GirlBoss hustle mentality that was drilled into you by your professional peers and the media for the entirety of the 2010's. Ah, the high-functioning autistic double-edged sword: you internalize how society tells you to behave, and behave it from behind an iron-clad mask to the point of mental breakdown, and then keep performing because you've been taught that your worth is determined by your output, and you can't be "worthless." So, the Universe went ahead and orchestrated a period in my life where I was bed bound until I could grapple with my concepts of self-worth and productivity. That sparked a re-set period where the boundaries between my physical, mental/emotional, and spiritual lives blurred more than ever before. Mostly because separating the care of your body from capitalism takes you back to practices from times and places where caring for your body was a spiritual act. Everyone's been told "your body is a temple," and we're very used to it being used patriarchially as a way to control your appearance or behaviors - "GOD HIMSELF dwells within you, therefore you can't eat pork/get tattooed/have casual sex/etc." But removing that from the framework of modern religion, and considering it alongside traditional body care practices, the old saw takes on a whole new meaning when you realize you're maintaining your physical and energetic hygiene at the same time. I discovered that traditional North African products and techniques work the best for my body, and I by in large take care of myself in ways that Hatshepsut and Nefertiti would recognize. I've already written about how this has led me to take up veiling here and here, something I would have never expected I would ever want to do, but here I am seeing the practicality and fashion of it, thanks to the process of decolonization. And how does one best decolonize their body care in this way? The biggest first step you can make is to stop buying products on vibes, smells, and claims. Do your research - thankfully, here's where the neurodivergences come in handy, I can happily hyperfocus on this subject for hours. Start with knowing what you're working with - what kind of skin do you have, what kind of hair do you have, what are your particular needs? Me? Skin-wise, I have normal skin with the help of hyaluronic acid serum, and Kojic acid soap and HOCL keep my rosaecea well controlled. Meanwhile, I keep my skin tight and wrinkle-free with a vitamin e concentrate and cocoa butter slug. That's all. I have no need to shop Ulta for the latest and greatest product, just for the couple of tried-and-true products that I know work for me. Same for haircare for my 3b-c, fine, highly porous hair. I make my own scalp oil based on trial-and-error and learning what my scalp likes, and my own chebe butter in the same way. I use a commercial leave-in conditioner under the chebe that I'm loyal to, and that whole combination keeps my hair growing quickly and the length preserved. I also grew my virgin hair out, so I'm not putting out any more time or money on dye. Yeah, a lot of this process is about accepting the reality of what you're working with and enhancing your unique, God and ancestry-given beauty instead of making yourself look like everyone else. Not only for your mental health and relationship with your physical form, but also to divorce from the capitalist mindset on the physical body. This becomes reclaiming your body from being a cash cow for capitalists and to being a functional tool for your soul to interface in full purpose with the physical world. And that does mean bringing a lot of things closer to home. I do get pedicures, because with my nerve damage it's too dangerous for me to do my own toenails, I can't tell when I'm slicing into the skin. But my whole foods diet and collagen and liquid mineral supplementation gives me such healthy fingernails, I don't want to cover them. I even trim/style my own hair, and my mom, grandma, and sister's, so no one in the house has to pay for their hair care. Wigs, hair extensions, lash extensions? To be honest, I've never been the type to choose to put my money there, anyway, even when my hair wasn't growing like this. Now, I have 3's, so I'm watching videos about how wig installs have made women with 4c hair straight-up hate their own hair from afar, and with a ton of sympathy and love for these women and girls. I see the colonization they're dealing with, and how much of their time and money and attention and even health that it's sucking up, and I know the personal journey they have to take if they want to wear their own hair and love and care for it the way it is. I've always been the kind of rebellious type that's worn my natural hair as a fuck you to beauty standards in general, I guess that's called "civil rights hair" nowadays, which, okay 🤣🤣 we just called it "natural" back in the day, but call it whatever if it makes you want to wear it more. For the record, there's nothing wrong with wearing wigs or lashes, or with straightening your hair or wearing extensions. It's when you can't wear anything but because you hate what you have naturally is when it becomes a problem. Decolonizing the rest of my appearance was fairly simple, as I've always had limited closet space, and been into thrifting and swapping. I did go through a Shein phase simply because fast fashion in my size was so novel that I had to wear the styles I could never wear before and get it out of my system. I did this as I was building a huge community clothing swap, so I don't feel too terribly about it, heh. I also never did "hauls," bought on clearance, and still have and wear most of what I bought, years later, because I take care of it. So, you could say I saved it from the landfill. The biggest part of this is returning to developing a personal style, not adopting rotating aesthetics you need an entirely new fast-fashion wardrobe for. When you have a solid personal style, and you know your shapes and silhouettes and what you actually enjoy wearing, you'll actually buy or swap for things you'll wear repeatedly. You don't need a giant closet filled with never-touched clothes, just a well-curated selection of pieces you can combine for multiple looks. When that's your style philosophy, going "no-buy" for however long, or only purchasing that one needed item that rounds out six pieces in your wardrobe and nothing else is very easy. Because you always have something to wear for any occasion, since you know how to put your clothes together and style them well. As for the rest of your style: that's all you. Makeup or no makeup? Depends on what you're comfortable with. Just, like your clothing wardrobe, identify what you actually use, and curate your collection to something you can pan before it all expires. Don't buy what you can't use just because you like collecting. Collecting is for non-perishable items. And shopping is not a hobby. Tattoos? It's your skin. Hair? Do what you want with it - I gave up hair dye, but that is not essential to the process. It's just essential to my personal hair health, which I had to prioritize over the society-prescribed youth preservation that was destroying my hair structure. Plastic surgery? That's where you're going to want to really sit with your "why" before signing the surgery paperwork. I firmly believe that the majority of plastic surgery and cosmetic procedure regret is when it's done because capitalism told them they "needed" to do it to meet the beauty standard, not because they truly believed they needed to be "fixed." The next part involves expanding out into the local community - support local art and artists. As much or more than corporate artists. Shop your jewelry and home decor at local Maker's Markets, or boutiques that showcase local artists. Drop a streaming service in favor of a season pass to a local theater company. Follow a local concert series, chances are it's free to attend, unlike a Taylor Swift concert. Take a class, get creative yourself. Check out your local library's offerings, they have so much more going on than just book loans, but while you're there, they also have free physical media loans. Book a professional photoshoot just because, it helps with visualizing your best self. Find a hole in the community that you can fill and volunteer to do just that. How does this benefit you? You look cool AF because you're wearing accessories no one else has. You're getting out of the house, and meeting people you otherwise wouldn't encounter in other circles of your life. Live music and theater hits different than pre-recorded stuff on a screen. Not that film and television isn't valid art, but live art needs support, too. And all humans are creative, and need to express that. Substituting the social media doomscroll with actual social interaction is good for the psyche. I know I keep saying that spirituality is all part of this, and how it's part of this for you is up to you. For me, I got deeper into personal energy work, and that led me deeper into Hinduism, which I wouldn't claim as my religion, but I am working with Hindu deities in the framework of chakra activation. I don't expect everyone or anyone else to do that, but it's hard to not consider your personal flavor of spirituality more as you're considering your place in the universe if you're not here to blindly consume for The Man. I've been a tarot card reader for 25+ years now, and one of the most common life dilemmas I've heard over the years is "I'm miserable in my high-paying position, and I know I would be so much happier in this lower-paid position, but I don't know how to take the hit to my finances." May I suggest decolonization? You're cooking for yourself, which means simple food with ingredients you choose yourself that don't cost your firstborn son. You're using just a few simple, inexpensive body care products that you can't hoard, saving money and space. You're curating a personal style with a mix-and-match wardrobe that encourages re-wearing favorite pieces and incorporating unique art as accessories. You're getting out into the community and enjoying and supporting live art and entertainment, as well as your local library and physical media. The community is benefiting from your volunteer hours, and general human presence. Your health is benefiting from better food and personal care products, less time online, and more time asleep, which means far more energy to do things you actually enjoy and that actually matter to you. You're living authentically, and frugally enough that you can take a step down in pay or hours without hurting your bottom line. Your newly reclaimed time and frugality means you can prioritize experiences, like travel. You are thoroughly sticking it to The Man. This is the most effective way to do so, actually. Congratulations, you're an interesting person with lots to talk about now. And yes, when you further extrapolate this concept out, it takes you to lifestyles outside of the "mainstream," like asexuality, and the role and contributions of the un-partnered and childfree people in society. Or polyamory, and recognition of the complicated ways that feelings manifest in people, regardless of concepts of "monogamy" for clear inheritance lines. Or of transgender people, and how society can sanction and affirm gender changes and gender questioning in safe ways. Or of multi-generational and communal living, to provide combined financial stability and solve problems like child or elder care, or household maintenance, that would otherwise have to be hired out at great cost. If I were to sum this up college essay style, I would say breaking up with capitalism, changing your habits from the most personal to the most public with a focus on bypassing consumerism and overconsumption, and connecting with community is a huge personal undertaking that can not only change you, but the whole world. Does this sound trite as hell? Absolutely. But if you've read this far, I think I've made a convincing argument that you can live a very fulfilling and meaningful life, and on a shoestring budget, by re-thinking and re-routing where your time, energy, and money is going. If nothing else, you are happier and healthier. Best case scenario, we change the world for the better, together.

Behold, my new "easy food" - super soft pita bread made with my white bean protein bread dough, hummus with added lemon zest, roasted garlic, thyme, and sumac, and raw lentil sprouts from my own windowsill. That's a grand total of THREE BEANS in ONE SANDWICH. We're having fun brainstorming other spreads, and veggies to add in. And I have an array of legumes in my pantry to sprout. Notice I cut my pita in half before I even started building the sandwich... I can't eat THAT much! When I was a tween, my favorite quick snack/meal was to toast a commercially made pita pocket, and stuff it with salad mix, shredded cheese, and ranch dressing. This feels like the more elevated, adult version of that. My other childhood go-to snack was "matzah pizza," my family's attempt at fusion cuisine, where we topped a sheet of Manischewitz matzah bread with pre-made pizza sauce and cheese, and placed it in the toaster oven to make a crispy, thin crust pizza. Today's elevated and allergy friendly version would involve my pumpkin sauce and either goat cheese or Daiya shreds, so, again. Adult, and all that. But anyway, as I told my mother today, the sprout wraps are completely plant based, easy to put together with foods that are easy to make from scratch, utilize cheap to obtain ingredients, and provide maximum nutrition for a single meal. My very "this is what my stomach can handle for food first thing, nothing else" autistically repeating daily breakfast is dairy-free plain yogurt with ground flax seed and raw, local honey. My repeating daily lunch may be a sprout wrap starting today. Don't ask me to be culinarily adventurous until at least 4PM from here on out 😅😅 Oh, and for the "it's too expensive to eat healthy food" crowd, I pulled out my calculator. You can get four batches of 16 pita from 5lbs of bread flour, which costs $15. That's 24 cents of flour per pita. One can of cannellini beans is 83 cents. One pack of yeast (sold in a pack of 3) is 63 cents. There's 40 cents of olive oil per 16 pita, so, 2 and a half cents of olive oil per pita. It's $1.92 for 72 tablespoons of brown sugar, and I use 2 tablespoons per 16 pita, so... yeah. About the same for salt. Roughly 38 cents per pita, total. A good 4 cups of sprouted lentils costs 78 cents. Even if you splurge and buy your hummus pre-made, it's $2.85 for a 10oz tub at Aldi. That's a filling, nutritionally balanced, low-cal meal for about 50 cents.